Getting back into work?!

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Hi all!

Just need some general advice and sage words as am currently having a bit of a panic! Have just had Fec 4 and have two sessions left - I figured that was only about five weeks so should really start looking for a job. Although there is no real urgency as my OH works and I had my insurance payout, I get the feeling he would like me to get back into things as soon as poss and get back to normality. Unfortunately, this is freaking me out! I’m on SSP at the moment but am really not keen to go back to where I was working, it was a relatively new job and I don’t think I would be comfortable going back into such a high pressured and uncomfortable environment. Also, I kind of fancy a career change as feel you get a lot of perspective on this cancer-trip and realised I should have studied what I wanted to and not what I thought I was meant to!!

Anyway, didn’t quite realise the panic would set in so had sent a few CV applications out. Just got in from walking the dog and have been asked for interview tomorrow. I, naturally being unable to say no, said yes and now am stuck, panicking, and don’t really want to work there anyway! The OH says it would be good to practice at some interviews but it all seems so quick and TBH too soon! Although I’m ok and probably may have survived working through treatment, I don’t know if I’m ready to get into a whole new job right now!!

EEK sorry for the ramble! Any advice and guidance would be most appreciated! I think I should hang on until a real position I want in the “new” career becomes available but, equally, I’m concerned I’m just using that as a distraction when I should really focus on what I know I can do!

Blimey - tis very stressful but the rants made me feel better! Thanks muchly!

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What i will say is dont rush. I went back 2.5 mths after the end of radiotherapy ( had chemo too) and i totally regretted it. I managed 4 months then i realised i either needed to go off sick again or leave. I chose to leave as i wasnt the same person as before and i felt i needed longer to re couperate and i didnt want endless sickness interviews as i looked well but felt rubbish!

I now realise i was pressured to go back and thats why i left as i wasnt physically or mentally ready. If i had stood my ground and left it say 6mths after end of treatment i would still be working altho i couldnt gurantee i would have been happy!!!

I feel cancer has been a wake up call and if something makes me unhappy, i dont suffer it any more!

good luck
X

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I’d say, it’s too early to be going back to work, so definitely not a good time to being thinking of staring a new job. Wait until you’ve finished treatment and give your body time to recover properly and then see how you feel. If you rush into this, you might regret it.

Good luck. Stella xx

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Hi Emma
well done on getting thus far with the chemo. I would echo what Stella and Evie said: you need to take it easy and look after yourself. I find I think about what direction I might take when this is over and it is a welcome distraction but please don’t put yourself through any stress. The treatment is bad enough and you will need recovery time before you embark on anything else.
Best wishes,
Sue

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Thanks for your comments! In a sane state of mind I would definitely agree - just finding it a bit weird to stop and not have a plan of action! I’m 26 and feel like up to now its been constant studying and working to get to my chosen career and now, I just don’t want to do it anymore and feel I could actual enjoy another job better! It is difficult to not put the pressure on when it has always been there but it is nice to know that I haven’t gone completely insane and other people can understand what I am saying!

Em x

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Hi Emma
Like you I found the idea of just stopping work without a master plan to follow was totally alien - I’m so used to working and being organised and planning ahead. But with BC you have to go with the flow and not push yourself too hard. My GP kept telling me not to set myself such unrealistic high standards and then become disappointed when I failed to achieve them - sounds like you could do with following the same advice.
I had surgery, then rads, then further surgery and took a total of 6 months off work and was quite shocked by how very tired I got when I returned to work, even though I was (and still am) on a very gradual phased return. After the treatment you’ve been through you need to take your time and not force things.
Sarah x

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Hi Emma Yes as the others have said BC changes everything. I find it difficult to plan as my original goals and aims for life and work have been completely de-railed. I went back to work at the beg of Jan after 6 months off. Had chem starting Dec 2009 followed by surgery x 2 then rads.Then had a serious infection poss chemo related and was very ill.My return was to have been phased over 3 weeks 4th being F/T ( courtesy of HR)Thanks guys. This has been extended to 6 wks by ATOS. I popped into the office yesterday and am v. nervous that there are already great expectations of what I will be taking on when I go back. I left after 5 minutes as was feeling so freaked.
I too am used to being organised and keeping all the balls in the air at the same time but feel I need to take on board the advice in an earlier post of being kind to one self.
Perhaps now is not the time to look for a completely new job.Chemo is tough well done on 4th.My BCN described it has my body had taken a complete battering and so too had my emotional health.
Please take your time and be kind to yourself. Good Luck. Jackie

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Hi

It’s too early to be looking for a new job. I had been working in the same job for 25 years. During chemo I literally dragged myself in, and then worked during my rads. Not a good idea.

Within months I realised that I couldn’t do the job anymore (just couldn’t concentrate) and took severance. I was lucky. Enjoyed this for 12 months but then got twitchy. I wanted something to keep my brain active and have now taken on some periodical work.

I suppose what I’m saying is that I wasn’t fit for work during chemo or during/after rads. It took a long time to regain my motivation. Maybe other people are different, but for me it took a while to put BC behind me and to be able to concentrate on the job in hand.

Don’t jump before you can walk.
Mal

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Hello

My situation is slightly different as I finished treatment nearly 7 years ago and yesterday I left a job that I had done for the last 13 years.

When I returned to work after treatment I was very tired and tried so hard to not let it get to me, I wanted normality, didn’t want to be treated any different. I tried never to use my cancer as an excuse so everything I did I gave too much,tried too hard.

Just getting over the realisation that you have had cancer, getting over the treatment and then moving on to tamoxifen is a task in itself. Anyway things changed at work,moving to new departments there always seemed something to get used to. I think that there is such thing as chemo brain as I had it. I tried to cope, pushed myself, my bosses were pleased with my work, little did they know what I was mentally and physically putting myself through to get through the work.

Until last year when our terms and conditions changed and we lost our flex time( I used my flex days to break up the week so some weeks I would only 4 instead of 5 days)our hours increased to 37, I was expected to work extra hours as unpaid, all which pushed me even more.

I made a decision that I would give it 6 months, see how I coped and make a decision then, which is what happened. It was just too much, I felt that I desparately needed a rest(I am now on Femara)so after Christmas I resigned.

What I am saying is that normality might not be the same as things were before cancer. I accepted after my op and then being told I was to have chemo that work was out until it had finished,I needed all my energy to be devoted into getting well. Starting a new job might put yourself under too much pressure.

If you can take the time out to complete your treatment, get yourself well and then look for a job,don’t make your life any more harder than you need to.

I intend taking a few weeks out before looking for something part-time and local.

Hazel