GETTING ON WITH LIFE…
GETTING ON WITH LIFE… I also posted a message on the Living With Caner forum but I thought I would cover myself.
I have my first post op 6mth mammo/blood tests this week and I am really struggling. I have felt it coming on for a while but it is all just consuming my thoughts.
I had pre surgery chemo which cleared my nodes and drastically shrunk my tumour which was wonderful news in November. Out came the champagne and the “we got through this dance”. Well I didin’t really dance but I am sure you know the feeling of getting some positive news, when it can all see so rotten to start with. But now the 6 mth mark coming up and I am losing all that feeling and totally doubting myself, my health, my furture. Every ache, every pain I have myself wondering “is it secondary”. I just need to move on and was wondering if anyone had any advice.
I have booked a trip home to Australia on Monday (next week) to see my family and friends that I haven’t seen since being diagnosed in May last year. But I was really hoping to leave with all my results from the tests (good - I hope - fingers crossed!) but now it seems I will have to wait and will receive them in the mail. Probably while I am away.
I have had this trip planned for months and going alone, childless and husbandless to have a little break, I was thinking of calling it off and waitng for my results but then I feel I am giving in to all of this.
arrrrrgggghhhhhh - I just wish I could get a grip and think clearly for long enough to just get my thoughts together and think about all this rationally.
I think I have prattled on enough - take care, love shell XXX
go girl! Hi Shell
know exactly what you mean, I’m post mastectomy but only half way thro chemo and I have no idea how to live with all these thoughts. It’s so much easier to offer words to someone else than myself…
sounds like you deserve and need a break
if you don’t go, all that would happen is most likely you’d be sitting thinking about the results, instead of doing things to take your mind off it which would make the wait easier for you and your family. The results will be what they are wherever you are when they come through.
hope you go and have a fab time and have good news to celebrate again!
Mandyx
I Understand… Hi Michelea,
Diagnosed March 06 5cm grade 3, Lumpectomy, Chemo cos node involvemnt and only 41 radiotherapy for 6 weeks and triple negative
(cancer does not respond to hormone or herceptin so no followup treatment)
I am due to have my first mammogram(3months) after all my treatment in less than two weeks.
Its all I can think about. I doubt myself too,its because I am scared every ache or pain I am honning into-I think its normal to be like this after what we have been through.
Good on you getting your holiday sorted. I have booked a treat away before and one for after. I cant live like this, putting everything on hold.
I will be having checkups for five years and beyond and I am not sure I want to stop organising my life.
I am frightened of the results but I want to enjoy myself and my life.
Its early days for many of us, and whilst I can not stop the feeling of worry, although I am trying, the results will be what they will be, I can not change that, I can have something to look forward too though.
take some time to get your thoughts together and do whatever is best for you, if you go, have a lovely time, wish I was coming!!!
take care
Rosiexx
Hi Shell My advice is go for it, just get yourself over to Oz and let your family see you. I am saying this as I have just been through a similar situation. I am on another website for breast cancer and last year a lot of ladies in the UK were planning a get together in London. They were all speaking on the site saying how they were looking forward to meeting everyone, one lady was coming from USA, another one from Spain. I wrote and told them how 'orrible they were for talking about it on the website, I was jealous, living out here in SA with no money to spare for an airticket.
Next thing - they had all contributed to pay for my air fare to be at the meeting with all the other ladies - I had never met them in my life! That was in March of last year, I got my ticket and then…went down with a brain tumour. I had a major op and had to have chemo and wrote on the website to all the ladies that I would not be able to go. They REFUSED to take their money back, they said I WOULD go - and I did…between chemos, in fact I had to go and have a boost to be able to have the 5th chemo to get my counts high so that I could have a chemo the day before I few to UK. Then I had to go straight to have chemo no 6 the day I flew back.
I flew by myself, I went all over UK with NO hair, I was in a magazine in UK called Take A Break for my story…I still am getting over the big thing I did, all by myself, meeting about 14 ladies I had never met, I had no body hair whatsoever, but I am just so happy I went…so please take my advice and go…you will be so glad you did. Love Roz xx