Yep new to all this posting lark too. The anonymous pictures are great arn’t they!!
It is really hard waiting for the treatmnet to start, I think once your told you just want to get it all over with.
My husband is putting a brave face on it, but I have caught him crying a few times. I think its hard because I don’t always want to talk about it and he feels not involved, sometimes you just want to block it out though.(He must know I am talking about him because he has just nagged me to take my tablets!).
I have got a son of 17 who seems to be ok, but my daughter who is 21 is at university so finds it hard.
How old are your children?
Hi lostinfrance - No i can’t drink tea either, I managed about half a cup last night, but have gone right off it.
Hi All,
Tracey- you made me laugh with the comment about the faces i think we should be able to just place a little face in the middle to see what we look like !
I did all my initial appointments on my own at the beginning even results day which was bad news on most of them ! i feel now that i should of involved my husband a lot more at the beginning as i didn’t realise how left out he felt till he said, now he goes to all my appointments with me, i think its because i felt i could cope on my own but not if someone else had a melt down with results.He looked a lot more afraid when i was having chemo than me !
I have twin boys age 13 -great age but a challenging one ! they seem ok about it all but i still have my hair for now think it will affect them a bit when it’s gone.
Julie - it’s funny what you said about your hubby nagging you about your tablets - when we got home from chemo i had a lot of tablets and he looked them all up on the internet,wrote on the boxes what they were for and got them all ready for me when i was due to take them - he was my personal pharmacist! i think they like to have a role to do ,it helps.
shell x
Hi Julie, Shell,
My kids are 14, 12 and 5. They are ok, but as Shell said, the hair coming out thing is going to be a problem initially. The little one is the happiest- we read ‘mummy’s lump,’ and to her cancer is just an illness like flu or chicken pox- it is not loaded with unspoken words like ’ death.’ For the older two though, it is very scary, as they had preconceptions about what it means. It was horrible telling them, but I did it the day we found out- because I was worried they might overhear something - plus I was still in such a state of shock that I knew I could tell them calmly, without crying.
It is hard isn’t it-you feel a bit like the grim reaper having to tell people. I find myself apologizing the whole time too! But I have been very touched by peoples’ kindness- with only the odd thoughtless remark so far!!
Tracey
On the subject of partners and kids coping its been interesting in our family as I have 5 kids from 8 to 28 and the one who has found it hardest to date is the 28 year old! However this might be because one of my kids got bc before me and she was 26 so we are in the process of a mum, sister and daughter triangle! Happily my daughter is 6 months ahead of me and has done the surgery, lost and regrown her hair, and is now on tamoxifen and herceptin and looking amazing. Therefore everyone has done a rehersal for me to do the same…quite bizarre!
My 8 yer old is very matter of fact about the whole thing and my 17 year old son has offered to cook christmas dinner…not sure about that…yikes!
My husband is coping admirably and is very stoical as am I. We are not letting this all get us down and we are all carrying on as normal, i have livestock and run a business, kids who are at school are doing well, older ones are ok and daughter with bc is planning the wedding of the centuary next May whilst working full time as a journalist!
Life must go on and some sort of normality has to reighn or I think we would all go potty!!!
Might be a good idea to save some of your anti-sickness tablets for your christmas dinner!!!
My 17 year old son did the ironing after my operations. The first lot he did was ok, but then he decided that shirts only needed ironing at the front as sleeves and back could not be seen with a jacket on!!
Julie- isn’t that how shirts are done??
Seriously though, my newly bought hat (Suburban Turbans) off to you Lost in France- you sound amazingly grounded. It struck me that there is no hint of bitterness in your posting. This is something which is continually surprising me. I am very newly diagnosed, and still in a bit of a state of shock, but talking to friends, before and after this, and lately reading some of the threads on this site, I think it is such a testament to the human spirit. I do not hear people shouting ‘why me ?’ maybe we just all need our energy for the battles ahead…but I do think it is a very positive and, quite special, thing.
Tracey
Tracey, sorry you find yourself on this site but you are right, the upbeat posts and positive thoughts from everyone on here is truly inspirational.
Yes, there are times we’ve all had a bit of a ‘downer’ but so many others here are ready with their kind words of support, funny & witty stories and their love to see us through until we feel more ‘in control’ again.
Karen, your so right everyone on here is amazing! - i followed this thread since it started but never had the nerve to post, some of the stories along the way have been very uplifting and some of yours have made me laugh out loud which i wasn’t doing much of at the beginning !
Everyone is so upbeat and your right Tracey ‘no bitterness’
I think my big ‘fallout’ is happening so i hope i can cope -day 16 now after TAC 1 so its due ! i have 2 wigs ready and hats from Suburban Turban pricey but great quality. if it gets bad i will take a leaf out of Lilac & Debs book - and shave it off !
Shell x
Hi All
Well so far so good. Se’s from FEC4 very minor, no mouth ulcers (yeah!!!) and indigestion so slight hardly noticeable. Felt the tiredness lift on wednesday (day 9) which is over a week earlier than last time. Going to put that to good use next week… xmas shopping here I come. Had a really good night last night, few girls from work came round and we had a chinese.
A lovely start to the weekend and I wish the same to everyone else.
Ali.
x
Happy weekend to all! We do all get our low times but hey falling is a lot easier than hanging in there or climbing and we all do it! I am not bitter about it all and tend to think why not me rather than why me…i am seeing some amazing things happen as a result of what has happened to me and my daughter…for example a friend is doing the MoonWalk …google it if you dont know what it is…quite amazing! My daughters fiance is cycling from Bath to Lands End in 24 hours in Jan to raise money for cancer research and Bath hospital and several friends and colleagues have started cheking their boobs or gone for long put off mamogrammes as a result and I have a chance to do some other stuff to raise awareness that its not just lumps that indicate a problem nor just older people who have this disease!
So even though we have this bluddy disease the net result is possibly saving someones life…which actually makes me very humble and gives a positive outcome to a s####y year!
Also with the chemo…I am on FEC-T and am bouncing about feeling great 10 days on from first dose, loads of energy returning and feel totally normal…and that has helped a lot of people who had never come across a friend or relly having chemo before but had seen dramas on the telly to realise its not all doom and gloom with the chemo either. I know each cycle is different but if my daughter can get through 6 FEC well darn it so can I…
Hair wise its not falling yet but it will so I’m going to make it fun by wearing funky outrageous wigs, natty hats, possibly having a henna head tat for Christmas and just making something bad into a positive!..when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show the world you have a thousand reasons to laugh!
So all you amazing ladies out there lets do this in style! xx
Hello all, and welcome to new people on this thread.
Shell, well done on getting the nerve up to post. Yes, I think we are all very positive and supportive on here.
This was my first time on an internet forum like this - well, except for a foray into internet dating a few years ago, ha ha, what a hoot that was! - and I find it really helpful to communicate with others in the same boat.
Ali, thanks for the reassuring comments re the PICC line. My chemo has been put back from Monday to Thursday so I can have the line fitted Thursday morning and have chemo in the afternoon. What a fun-packed day that will be! I’m looking forward to having 3 extra days of feeling relatively OK.
Hi ladies, I had the first of 3 x Fec 3 x Tax on Thursday 14th Oct, so feeling much better now, except for an ulcer, so think I must be at a similar stage to you,LiF. I’ve got thick hair, but have lost some each of the last three days, looks a bit scrappy at the sides where most has come out. Just debating whether to get OH to shave it off today or wait a bit longer.
OH is a rock, just as well as I have both my sons - 31 and 29 back at home having lived and worked away. Younger one has had three bouts of depression over last few years. He spent the last year working in France, but felt a bit isolated (girl friend is Brazilian and at Uni in Brazil), came back, was on anti depressants. To cut a long story short, he started to act oddly a few days before my lumpectomy and we realised he was in denial about the BC. The day I was in hosp, he completely lost it and OH and older son had to dial 999, he was admitted to psychiatric unit in the next building to where I was. Any way, he is out, but lately very depressed and crisis team have had to be involved this week. Sure has taken our minds of the BC. He keeps saying he feels so guilty as he causing us worry and he should be strong to help me through etc. It’s really hard seeing him like this.
We’re trying to be positive though and I am doing normal things this week to keep the spirits up and leaving OH to deal with son more.
I find the forum really helpful, mostly I just read other people’s experiences. I think all the support out there is wonderful, and it helps to know you’re not alone.
Hi All,
Amanda - Thankyou for the welcome, you do hope ladies don’t mind you ‘butting’ in on a thread thats been running a while ! but everyone is so welcoming-thankyou.
May have to go for the shave look today, my head is itching and i can get a good handful now!
Good luck on Thursday Amanda will be thinking about you as i’m having my bloods done so hope my TAC 2 goes ahead Friday,getting a bit worried about it now as it’s only my second so only have my first to compare to which wasn’t too pleasant, but just dizziness and a headache and a few other SE’s that they said were normal.
Stella - hope your son feels better soon must be very difficult for him and you too !
shell x