My taste hasn’t changed too much since starting the chemo but I now have a real craving for tea! Just can’t get enough! Thankfully chocolate still tastes fabulous!
Lilac I think you are amazing to go and get your head shaved. About 50% of my hair has gone now. I have very short hair now - whereas it was long thick and blonde. I am resembling my Grandma on top of my head but am managing to cover up with scarves ect. I really cannot bring myself to go for the shave. Although a part of me just wants it al to go cuz am getting fed up of constantly clearing up hair! It’s gets everywhere! Got a fabulous wig so am going to see how I cope with what’s left of my hair under my wig. Just the though of shaving my head makes me feel very sad and freaked out. Maybe one day I’ll just say to hell with it and go for it. I am scared that I will lose my girlyness with a shaved head. Do you feel that way at all?
Well hope you are both coping ok with the side effects ect… I am doing ok - had my 3rd FEC on Thursday and the tiredness is creeping in now. Time for an early night me thinks.
Hi All,
Lilac - well done on the hair thing, cetainly a brave thing to do before the hair even startd falling out - but if that’s how you handle it then so be it.
Bird - I shaved mine off after it had been falling out a couple of days and all the front had disappeared. I thought I looked more ill like that. I felt so much better once it had all gone and I pesonally think I look better for it. I haven’t gone for the wig thing, I have a selection of hats that I wear out to Tesco or down the village but I don’t usually bother anywhere else. All my friends have seen the bald head and I am often out in the street talking to the neighbours ‘flashing the baldness’. I actually fell less obvious when I am not wearing the hats. It’s purely your own choice, but I think you’ll find it very liberating if you take the rest off. Sometimes I forget its gone! When I wash my head in the shower I still do that smoothing down of the hair to get the water out of it!! How funny is that!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Karen
Ali - I’ve got the runny nose thing too. Keep thinking I’m getting a cold but don’t seem to be.
Bird - Yes, I feel the same about losing ‘girliness’. Haven’t got used to the wig yet and am going to wash it today to see if I can make it look a bit less ‘salon’. I was afraid that having no hair would make me look like a man-don’t know why I thought I would-just look at Karen and the other beautiful woman brave enough to put chemo profile pics. Actually, a long hard look in the mirror has made me realise that I’ve been hiding those features behind a long fringe and chin to shoulder length hair for way too long!
I have breast cancer,about to start my chemo on tuesday the 7th sept…got my wig fitted…looks good…friends are so wanting to get one to…am not fussed abt losing my hair…as I have very short hair anyway…but we will soon see…I am a bit terrified of starting my chemo…i have grade 3…lump in my breast and 1 lymphnode…chemotherapy…then mastectomy later…
am a newbie to this site…and i think i dont feel so alone now…
Hi Poly
If you’ve read some our recents post you can tell lots of us found the worry and dread of the chemo was far worse than the actual event though tears on the day are not unknown. My cancer was a grade 1 but had already spread to 7 lymph nodes, so I was able to have a lumpectomy but also had to have clearance. 6 weeks past surgery finally feeling normal and have normal movement back, just some numb bits under the arm.
I’m due my 2nd chemo on tuesday and this site really helps to not feel as alone.
Will be thinking of you on Tuesday
Take care of yourself and just do what your body feels it can
Ali.
xx
Poly so sorry you had to join the club that no-one wants to be a member of.
Don’t get too anxious about starting chemo. As people have said on here before, the dread is often worse than the actual act of having it. Make sure you take something warm because the drugs do make you feel quite cold at times and keep drinking lots of fluid to flush out the toxins. I’ve been lucky and not had any bad side effects yet just the odd dicky tummy but nothing I coudn’t handle.
Good luck and let us know how you get on. You will find loads of support on here.
Debs
x
Hi Poly and welcome - not the best club to be joining I Know - but probably the most supportive.
Good luck with the first chemo on Tuesday. I’m sure you will find it’s not so bad as you are imagining it to be. I hope you don’t suffer too many side effects. I’ve been very lucky like Buzzy and only seem to have a week of a ‘iffy’ stomach and I suffer with a bad taste in my mouth that puts me off of loads of foods, but at the same time encourages me to eat loads of others I wouldn’t normally! I am constantly searching for that stronf flavour that I can TASTE! Not good for the waistline that’s for sure!
As for the hair, it’ll grow back - and will be a nice blank canvas for a whole new you!
Will be thinking of you. Take care.
Karen
Hello Polly
Just wanted to add my welcome to the others. I’ve found a lot of support here and I’m sure you will too. Remember no question is too silly to ask. The worrying before chemo is horrible - I couldn’t sleep or eat - but it turned out not as bad as I thought it would be. We’re all thinking about you and understand.
Lilac x
Not a good night. Could not sleep as have a big bald patch on top and felt my wig looked awful, and got to go and get bloods today so will no doubt see work collegues. Was awake at 3am trying it on again. Finally gave up but had an idea this morning and raided my uni daughter’s supply of scarves ( she’s abroad doing charity work) and feel I have finally found a style that suits me. My hair was long so the ends of the scarf make me feel I still have a pony tail. Next stop a shopping trip to m&s as they have loads I like the look of on the website.
Lilac - the runny nose and eyes dried up yesterday (day 20). I expected it to start again this morning after going out for the school run but back home and still don’t need tissues. Phew, I was beginning to think this would last till the end.
FEC2 tomorrow, hopefully different anti sickness tablets will work this time.
Positive vibes to all of us having chemo this week and may any side effects be copeable
Ali.
Hi Poly, will be thinking about you tomorrow. I’m a week on from my first lot of chemo and apart from sickness on the first night, I haven’t done too badly. I agree with what others have said that the thought of it can be worse than the actual experience. My energy levels have gone down - I really notice that my walking speed has slowed - but then I am still managing to get out for a walk each day and do the things I need to do. I would say listen to your body and be kind to yourself.
Ali, sorry you had a bad night, and will be thinking of you tomorrow too. I haven’t lost any hair yet but keep trying my wig on and wondering if it is right. It looks good when it’s not on my head!
I’ll be interested to know if the different anti-sickness pills work for you.
Hi Amanda
2nd one over and NO sickness this time. I even managed to eat a light meal last night. Woke a few times in the night for drink and more tired this morning than I remember last time but so nice not to have been sick. Different anit-sickness was to take Lorazepam morning and night for day before, day of and day after chemo but forgot to ask which anti-sickness they injected me with this time. Quite nice this time as I didn’t get the prickly bum feeling and only had a funny feeling in my nose. Didn’t get the funny headache of last time either.
going to do the school run, so life has some normality but think it might be feet up on the settee after. Oh well, I guess the ironing will just have to wait,
My energy levels started to picked up towards the end of second week, so hopefully you will find this too,
Good vibes to all
Ali.
x
Ali, pleased to hear you’ve avoided the sickness this time - gives me hope for my next one. Interesting about lorazepam - I took that for anxiety a couple of years ago but didn’t realise it was an anti-sickness as well. I would definitely give the ironing a miss today. I seem to have a bit more energy today. I’ve found that going for a short walk in the morning and afternoon is better than one long one.
Poly, hope you got on OK yesterday and that you aren’t suffering too much with the side effects.
Lilac, have you had any more dreams? I hadn’t until last night - I had a really vivid one in which I did all sorts of weird and wonderful things including going to work abroad and getting married again (I’m divorced in real life). I wouldn’t put the first part past me but I think the second is implausible!
Poly, hope it wasn’t as bad as you expected yesterday. Thinking of you til you feel up to posting again.
Ali, good the sickness wasn’t so bad this time. Gives me hope for FEC 2 next Wednesday. By the way, FEC is a good therapy as well as treatment. Just say it loudly like Father Jack and throw something at the wall.
Amanda,wishing you a wonderful new man to sweep you off your feet! Haven’t been dreaming so much just lately - having trouble sleeping. Getting back into the school routine has been stressful. It’s now obvious that noone has noticed I’m wearing a wig but that was hard at first - felt like a freak. Someone I thought of as a close friend has been treating me as if I have the plague - finding that very difficult. The emotional fall-out of being ill is not something you can get medication for.
Hi all, I’m in the same time frame as you, 2nd FEC yesterday, my chemo nurse has prescribed me some lorazepam to take before the next one as a tranquilliser. I was describing to her the feelings I had on then journey down, and taking the anti sickness before I left. I could barely swallow it, the feeling of ‘I REALLY don’t want to be taking this’ and coming in through the gates of the hospital I nearly threw up!!
X
Rusty
I feel the same as you Rusty - went in there yesterday to have a chat with them about continueing to use the cold cap and, even though I am not having my 3rd FEC until next week, though I was going to pass out. So glad I have the Lorezepan to take before I go next week.
Hi Lilac
I’ve read lots of posts about finding out who your friends are at times like this and sometimes it can surprise you. I have got to know more of my neighbours in the past 2 months than in the past five years I have lived here. I emailed all my team at work my mobile and home email address on my last day and have been really pleased by some who have kept in contact, also very disappointed with some who haven’t. Try not to take it personally, just accept some people are no good at coping with someone else’s illness. You have lots of friends here who are more than willing to talk to you,
Ali.
xxx
Yes I would agree with Ali’s commments. I’m getting to know one lot of neighbours much better at the moment - their little girl came to ask me to play the piano for her the other day which cheered me up. Somebody at my work has become a real friend and has been with me to some of my hospital appointments. But there are others who just don’t know how to treat me at all. I’ve experienced depression in the past and found that similar - some people can cope with it, some can’t. I think the best thing is try to surround yourself with the people who can as much as possible. After my funny dream the other night even my ex-husband got in touch!
Hope we are all doing OK today. My energy levels are definitely on the up and I have been out for lunch.
Amanda xx
Yes, Ali and Amanda, you’re right. It’s better to focus on the positive - people have been very supportive. One of my neighbours organised a girly night out just before my 1st FEC to take my mind off it, another has been helping with the school run when I have hopital appointments. Other friends and relatives have been very good at keeping in touch, and of course all of you friends on the forum have been great and have insightful things to say.
I don’t know how supportive I’ve been in the past when friends have been going through tough times, so I’m learning useful stuff about how to treat others.
Rusty, how did it go? Hope it wasn’t too bad. Hugs.
Hi All
Had a really rough couple of days (days 3-5 after 2nd fec). Couldn’t sleep due to indigestion, stomach ache until 3am last 2 nights so feeling very wiped out today. Feel ugly as most of my hair has fallen out and find all the shampoo adverts on tele make me want to cry. Know I’m lucky that I don’t have to go back to work until treatment finished (not allowed to as I work at the local hospital) but suddenly the thought of several months of having to wear scarves or hats at work seems a huge thing. Guess I’ve just hit a low point but today it all seems too much
Ali.