Giving a cat a pill

How to give a cat a pill

Reminds me of the time we were decorating. This was just a couple of days before Christmas Eve. My husband had varnished skirting boards and door and surrounds. He put the paint brushes on the worktop in the kitchen soaking in turpentine to clean them and went to get ready for work. Worked night shift at this point.

I had everything else ready for Christmas – housework all done, place gleaming and felt quite self satisfied.

I went into the kitchen cupboard above the worktop where the brushes were to get something and left the door open.

The cat (a beautiful smoky grey Persian – unfortunately now deceased) had been following me around. He loved to sit on top of the kitchen units looking down on you, just normal for a cat. He also loved getting into places he should not be in.

He spotted an open cupboard, I should have known better! One jump onto the worktop and another into the cupboard – he missed and landed in the bowl with the mixture of varnish and turps. He got the fright of his life and bolted, straight upstairs, across all the beds, onto the window ledges before he calmed down. Everything covered in the mixture.

Before he went to work, hubby and I had to bath him to try and get the stuff off him. He was late for work – what an excuse, bathing the cat. Went to vet who suggested bathing him twice a day in Fairy liquid until all traces had disappeared and then said he might not survive because he kept trying to wash it off himself.

Two or three days later, cat is running around is if nothing has happened, husband is covered in scratches from bathing and both of us are just about having breakdowns. Even so he was a terrific cat. We had him for 15 years.
Sons sympathy was entirely with the cat.

As they say you don’t own a cat, they own you.


Oh I know! Your cat sounds wonderful. Our two are moggies. But just as wonderful! And impossible when a pill is in sight. They are in charge!




How to give a cat a pill.

  1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process.

  3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

  4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

  5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

  6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat’s head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

  7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

  8. Tie the little angel’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat’s throat to wash down pill.

  9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

  10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.


Hi Dilys

I should have said he never quite measured up to the grandeur of his breed. Typically contrary as he was, he was born with the wrong colour eyes to get himself up among the elite, but then he always thought he was too good for shows anyway, people not quite measuring up to his standard. I just love cats and their personalities.


yeah so do I cats are so funny …my ginger tom has a very strict rule and if there is not enough food when he looks in the bowls he comes and finds you and doesnt give in till you feed him …then he rounds the other 4 up makes sure they eat and stands back and watches then he has his!

Aren’t they great? Trevor, my ancient tomcat, loves gently chewing my knuckles while I am on the laptop, staring lovingly in to my eyes while I try to keep him out of my way! Luck you, Loubyjane having five of them! Have always wanted a ginger tom, but round here the mogs are all black and white!



Thistle, that is so funny I am in tears!!! my cat is exactly like this, yesterday he got wounded by another cat, today I have being thinking the whole day about how to give him a pill, last time I did it I got covered in scratches!

and now I read this!!! too funny!



yes having 5 does make me very lucky I wouldn’t change it for the world …they surround you with love mischief and fun and always put a smile on my face…mine ( black and white tom) chews your knuckles if you scratch his back with your other hand …he loves it LOL

they’re just fab wouldn’t be without them

Hi Loubyjane

Must be something about black and white toms and knuckles! I am lobbying for a ginger tom as a consolation for chemo but my OH is so far unimpressed! Mean or what? Mind you it wuld disturb the other two I suppose. Enjoy yours - they sound just lovely.


Hi there Dilys

yeah the idea of a new cat as compensation sounds fair to me!! I wouldnt worry about upsetting the other 2 they soon come round …mine all love each other to bits and there is no better sight than coming down on a cold winters morning to see them all curled up with each other on the couch!!! Now that sight warms my heart!! Male cats are my favourite I have 2 males and 3 girls and the girls are nice but the males are such characters and are more cuddly than the girls who like to be a bit aloof!