Going / been thru through chemo & live alone?

I live alone and have just had my first chemo session.i’m 56, have two grown girls who are being brilliant and an 89 year old dad who has been given as little information as i can get away with but i expect is worried to death and we havent said the c word.i have lovely friends, my dearest if which has terminal cancer and hopes to see Christmas.my friends as i said are lovely but dont…cant possibly…understand.i feel they want me to say i’m fine like i have a cold and will be better in a few days.i feel locked in my own bubble, just able to put one foot in front of the other.the middle of the night seems quite bleak on your own and i feel quite cut off but too emotionally frail yet to really reach out.thank you for giving me and opportunity to say this. Teresa

Thank you for replying…hugs to you.yes i do agree there are distinct advantages being on your own when youre ill anyway…i can slop around looking disgusting! Its difficult with friends isnt it…minebare based around acting and drama and socializing a lot so its common sense that things will definitely change…also they are positive…great…non-ill people…always healthy and hate thinking of illness so i dont want to drain them.it will all be what it will be.hope youre having a good day.thanks for writing x

Hi,  I was diagnosed with Grade 3 breast cancer last Thursday.  I have had a breast MRI and now waiting for vacuum biopsy next week.  I am married with 2 children (23 and 12) but my husband is not coping (doesnt really cope with anything, and goes out drinking) so I guess I am facing this on my own with the kids.  I am HER2 receptive but havent been told my treatment plan yet - this is all happening this week I believe.   The thought of the surgery doesnt scare me too much (had 2 c-sections and may other ops) but the chemo is a walk into the unknown for me - and I am petrified.  I am hoping to be able to drive myself to the treatments as my parents died over the last two years and my sibings live far away.  I have aske my husband to leave and let me concentrate on getting better which is why I am on this thread.  I have found such good advise on here and feel a little more able to cope so thank you and I know where to come if I have questions in over the next few months.

 

Please can I just say -

YOU LOT ARE ONE LOAD OF TOUGH COOKIES - I applaud you and wish you ALL continued STRENGTH to carry on kicking this gawd awful disease in its behind regions !!! (as well as a few lacking partners, it would seem. Shame they can’t see you in the same way i’m sorry).

Love and biiig long hugs to you

Delly xxxx

 

Hi

My partner of 20yrs also decided 2 weeks after my diagnosis that he was unhappy and wanted to be on his own!! It’s amazing how selfish people can be! 

However, I have an amazing daughter and wonderful mum who help me every step of the way. Just about to start 2nd round of chemo and despite the fatigue, have not been too bad.

Good luck to everyone

Sue xx

This thread is so accurate. …a major live change like a cancer diagnosis can make or break relationships. It really shows the people around you who ‘can’ and those who ‘cant’! It’s a desperate shame for those of you whose partners are the weak sort who , at your very time of need, show their inability to care for you as you deserve. AND you do deserve caring loving people around you!! So…as my counsellor said…leave them be, move on and take strength from those who ARE offering it. I am so sorry you’ve all had to deal with this xx

Only just read your kind reply…thank you so much xx

Thank you all for your amazing comments.  After an incredibly bumpy weekend and his best friend telling him exactly what he thought of him I think he has realised that this actually isnt about him and his job is to help me but also make sure the kids are ok.  We will see what the future holds and i am prepared incase we have another wobble.  I do have amazing friends who have all offered help, I think I am just too worried to ask for it which I know is daft.  I dont want to be a burden on anyone!!  Anyway - Vacuum Biopsy this Friday and then treatment plan next week so I should be a little more clued up after that.

 

I do have one question though… what do you do when people constantly message you saying “I’ve just heard your news”.  Have any of you just put your diagnosis on social media and asked people to give you time to adjust?  Did it work?

 

Thanks

Hels xx

I know just how u feel I’ve been doing it on my own since I was diagnosed it’s been so hard, I’ve got a partner not that it feels or seems like it, if I ask for his help I get cut off I live alone with my dog there’s days I’m in so much pain so tired, I’m literally struggling the nurse’s tell me I’m strong but no one with cancer should have to face it alone I cry myself to sleep feel so alone haven’t got any mates my sister’s live Mile’s away, feel like I’m cracking up I just want bit of help and support 

Oooooomph, I do feel for you all.

Marie, that’s such excellent, helpful advice from Sue ref any support groups in your area. This forum is a fantastic place for support, but you still can’t beat face to face, in person contact with alike fellow BC women and hopefully an opportunity to befriend, when you feel more up to it.

 

Wishing you all strength. Sending love and big hugs

Delly xxx