Hi girls,
Dont have your problems with parking, Dont actually think there is anywhere to park at Barts being in City. Tube is easy and i hate driving anyway. That said, decided to go to Ilford by bus this morning shopping. bus stops along the road and goes straight there.
Well, bus stopped at Redbridge and threw us all off. then twenty five minute wait for another, then girl with obvious mental health issues gets on and sits next to me. She sits talking to herself and doing pig impersonations. Was getting concerned when she decided to take herself off… Phew…
Me and youngest had to buy some crocs and swim shoes for his trip next week and would you credit it, last shop we went in had his size.
I suppose i should be glad we got them at all. Now my arm has swollen up (really sure i have the dreaded lymphoedema now…). I think i am living Victor bl–dy Meldrew’s life.
I was going to go to the gym for first time in weeks, but have really knackered myself, fitness levels have really dipped after this lot. I have done the lottery on the pain/pleasure principle, I think i have been pooped on enough lately. want something good to happen and not just a blooming tenner either. And now the bl–dy dog is barking like a hyena… I really do feel like VM…
Anyway going to sit down, read the papers and drink something cold.
Ciao for now
Linda
No 5 done, just one left now, and boy have I had enough. Am fed up with being on the ‘treatment merry-go-round’. I want some normality back in my life. The chemo went ok and I feel fine today, just tired.
We lost our electric in Tuesday’s storm and are still without lights, so that’s got me on a downer too. Electrician is due today to sort that out, so the overdraft is going to be battered again!
For the first time ever, I had aggro with my jab this morning. Half of the juice went in, the other refused to go in my tummy so I had to re-jab. I think I am just too tense.
I hope everyone is feeling fine, I will be ok in a few days. I am relieved that I only have one more left, but at the mo have no oomph or good vibes.
Lots of love to all.Daisy xxxxxx
Hi Sharon
I think its common to get a bit fed up towards end, i know i have and this week has been hell. Found out my rads wont start until end of july so i dont know if i will get a holiday this year. I have been on a bit of a downer for past couple of weeks which considering i have finished my chemo, doesnt make sense. However, i have seen a lot of postings on here reporting similar. The SE’s after the last lot were also the worst i had had so that didnt make me feel any better.
I am trying to cheer myself up but difficult when walking down the road knocks you out and yr eyes are streaming constantly. Hubby did all my injections with the juice so didnt have that problem. Oh and the electric, doesnt it all seem to come at once?, with us it was the vet’s bill.
Lets hope a year from now, this is all a dim memory and we are back to full fitness and wondering what the fuss was about.
Lisa and Barbara, hope you are alright, presume the chemo has laid u low for a little while, hope you are up and about soon.
Linda
Hi Ladies wow last chemo and finished chemo well done , ive got 2 left and so far tax-t not as bad as fec . HICKMAN settled down and infection in arm getting better just had day 10 bloods really low again 0.05 but have not said i need extra juice so not sure what I should do apart from stay away from loads of people ect .
My eldist who is 11 has just gone to belguim with his school I feel really emotional about it and think this is due to chemo aswell.
Had bad weekend was a big pain to hubby and mom and dad but like you I also feel really fed up . Id just like to be able to jump in and out of shower with out worrying about tubes and dressings or go out and not have to think what to put on my head…
Did go to a speacialist shop and had some really nice under wear and a special swim cossi with pockets and a softie that you use when swimming nice but all cost a fortune I know we dont pay vat but would be nice if we could get help with costs as If I hadnt got this its money I wouldnt have to spend …
Sorry rant over sounds like we all need one sorry ive not been on for while sure I will be while me little mans away xxx
Love Lisa
Hi lisa,
My son was on a school trip last week (not as exotic as belgium) just an adventure centre about half hour away. He had great time and i missed him like mad.
Rant all you like, i have done and still feel pretty mad about every thing in particular. I think it just hits you that way towards the end. you suddenly realise what a raw deal you have had and why should you smile sweetly at everyone and simper ‘‘i’m fine’’ when you really dont feel like it.
Found out today that the wig i was looking forward to receiving was never going to come because it had been discontinued and company’s computer had sent me an order successful email rather than a sorry email. Boy was i mad about that!!! Did a Daisy on phone and said, its bad enough having cancer and losing all my hair but to be treated like this. Sorry was all i got though…
I am going to use my normal swim suit and just cut a hole in the booby part and pop my softy in. Those swimsuits cost a fortune.
I am slowly recovering from chemo, have rads to look forward to next, whoopee dee, what an exciting life i do lead. LOL!!!
All the best
Linda
Hi everyone - I am back! Having spent a few days wallowing in self pity and ‘why me’ type moments, I now feel my old self. It’s silly how things just get on top of you isn’t it.
Be careful with the DIY special swimming costume, doing the breaststroke and your falsie floating away could be a tad embarassing…or VERY funny! Puts a whole new meaning on the image of a floater!
I have my RADS planning appt 28th July with a view to starting a week later.
Off to a wedding this weekend and cannot wait. Just got to find an outfit where I don’t look to much like a heffa-lump! I won some ASDA vouchers so I might see what they have in stock.
Love to all and you are all doing fabby - well done!
Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hiya daisy Hiya all,
I too am coming out of poor little me phase. Had a great boost going to school and meeting my lovely new class. It cheered me up and made me feel human again, they didnt care if i was wearing a wig, had no eyelashes, no boob and was fat. They liked me!!!
Havent tried the swimsuit in water but it has highish sides and cups so i could cut a hole down side of cups and place the ‘floater’ in there. I will try it at some point.
I will probably be starting rads at end of July as there is a waiting list at Barts. i have planning next tuesday. Also appointment at lymphoedema clinic next monday as i am sure i have it - arm is tight and swollen.
Off out tonight with girls, first time in ages. Will probably need carrying home after half a lager LOL.
Enjoy the weekend
Linda
Hi Ladies ,
Yes know what you mean I had shandy and felt funny lol
Son home in about an hour cant wait and I also have the dreaded LYMPOdeima sorry cant spell its tight swollen and hurts ive heard once you get it thats it youve got it for life …hope not I find it quite painful and I dont need help looking any bigger …Going to put speacial tea on for sons return …
Glad we all upbeat this week enjoy the rain lol
Lisa xxxxxxx
Hello Ladies…
Just coming out of cant be arsed phase too…Sooo tired this time…poor dog has had to run around the garden in the lovely weather… My get and up go has well and truely got up and gone and forgot to take me with it…
Lisa…sorry to hear your have the lympho thingy…real bummer
Got an appt with the plastic surgeon Monday…at least I may have some idea when they will operate and then rads for me too after last chemo on 6th july…yipeeee doooo…ummmpphh…fed up too…
anyway can’t wollow too long…
have a luvly weekend ladies and speak next week
hugs all round
Barbara
xx
Morning all
Has anyone else enjoyed the feeling of sticking an ice cube under their headscarf and letting it melt? Feels sensational as Tony Blackburn would say!
Am staying well out of the heat as I am getting light headed very easily.
All now better with me after no5 and I am no longer a wailing mess feeling sorry for myself.
The wedding was great, I made it to 9.30pm then called it quits.
Time for a cuppa and a date with Jeremy Kyle.
Take care…Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning all,
We all seem to have had ‘the mood’ dont we. Still after all we have been through, i think we are entitled to be a bit angry. Dont you just get a bit fed up with smiling sweetly and saying ‘i’m fine’ although the truth is that is all people want to hear. I have tried saying i feel like sh-- and then seeing how fast they run away.
Hope the appointment went well with plastic surgeon Barbara and u know what is happening. i have rads planning today, yesterday had the lymphoedema clinic and i am now wearing a rather fetching, tan coloured arm stocking. Bet u wish you had one??? i am going to have to wear it out on tube today to rads planning. Oh joy!!! Lisa, get yourself to the clinic and see if you have it. The sooner u get a stocking the better it is for controlling it and after all, we could make them the latest fashion accessory…
Glad u had a good time at wedding Daisy, I had a good time on friday although only had a red wcked (total lightweight now). We all left at nine o clock - no raves for us.
i have no choice but to brave the heat today as appointment for rads is 2.30. Think i will leave soon and kill time looking round shops as it is cooler now.
Who watched the tennis last night? i havent watched it properly for years as it got boring with all the aces but last night was edge of seat stuff.
All the best
Linda
Hi ladies sorry not in good mood to hot arm swelling and had appoint come through for end of month to see about my arm what a joke going to ring now and have a rant down phone I can cope with chemo side effects but this is a real pain …
Only good thing is sons back bless ( no belguim chocs for mom )
sais he forgot lol
And also his gone to big school for week and his loving it ( he said the year 9 boys said his cool )
enjoy the weather Lisa , hope your all in better moods that me
Hi Lisa,
You do have to wait for lymphoedema clinics unfortunately as there are not many of them. You might be able to get a cancellation though. I finally went to my one on Monday. they fitted me with a sleeve which you have to wear all the time you are doing anything. Take it off when you are resting. There has already been an improvement although its not much fun walking around with a stocking on yr arm in this heat. i have also booked to see an Manual lymphatic drainage expert privately. They can massage the extra fluid away. Its not cheap but apparently worth it for quality of life. Your lymphoedema clinic will be able to recommend someone in your area. i had an apppointment today but we had to change it because she has a cold and i have a bad eye (scratched cornea). i decided i didnt need a cold with this so rescheduled for next week.
The scratched cornea is causing me more problems than anything recently, i can barely see out of the eye and it is extremely painful. I have some antibiotic ointment for it. I have mostly laid down with eyes shut today in order to rest it. i think i got it from the gunk that builds up in your eye now you have no eyelashes. i wake up and automatically rub my eyes and think that yesterday i rubbed the gunk too hard and scratched it.
I have a ct scan tomorrow for my rads planning and have to go to London early in morning. i have kept out of sunlight today but hope it doesnt hurt my eye tomorrow.
If it isnt one thing…
Linda
Hi all
You two are really going through it aren’t you with your swollen bits and gammy eye. I really hope things improve soon for you both.
I had my scan yesterday, all clear. Nothing showing up anywhere. Bladder, bowel, womb and ovaries all checked and fine.
Last chemo next Friday, RADS planning 28th, so I expect I shall be BBQ’d soon after. I am so desperate to get this all over and done with. I am sick of hospitals!
As if things coudn’t get worse, Mother in law is down for the weekend. I will face lots of personal and blunt questions all of which she knows will wind me up, but, I will play happy families to keep the peace. When I told her back in Dec I had BC, she said ‘oh, that’s the 3rd bit of bad news I have had today. First my wheelie bin broke, then my overflow started going into next doors garden and now this!!!’…ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Anyone doing anything exciting the weekend?
Take care everyone…Daisy xxx
Hi Daisy and everyone,
Oh you did make me laugh with what the MOL said… Mine, who has always wound me up in past, has actually been very sweet. She rings me regularly to see how i am. My inlaws live in east midlands and dont travel up to see us any more as its too much for them. Too much for me as well, she has far higher standards of hygiene and tidiness than i have (and a lot more time to achieve them). She can be a bit tactless usually but surprisingly has not said one thing i can grit my teeth about since diagnosis. Long may it last!!!
WEll done last chemo and clear scan, I start rads on 27th july. i had planned to go back to work in a week but i am having to rethink about it due to a case of swine flu in the school. I am going to wait and see if there are any more before making a firm decision.
Eye is still gunky and sore but much better than it was and I am hoping to book a holiday soon so things are starting to look up a bit… Now all i need is for that pink ticket to come up tomorrow…
All the best
Linda
Hi Daisy do with have the same mother in law mine is the same , when hubby goes to visit her ( I dont bother now ) he comes back and says mom says she doesnt ring you because she doesnt want to bother you but was woundering if you get a min would you ring her …!!!
If I mention my arm she always said its not as bad as her ankles and also she always says oh you have put some weight on since I saw you last , im sure she would say it in an afternoon if she had seen me the same morning .
Great news about results sorry is that the first ones you have had if so they did make you wait … both of you having rad appointments makes me feel like its closer to the end too had 5th chemo 2 day and again apart from heart burn from steriods not to bad yet …
well done .
Hi Linda Glad your eyes better what a bummer its all we need at mo putting up with chemo is bad enough ,
And rad appointments great.
Swin flu I went to sons new school for induction evening they were great even reserved 3 seats at front by the open door as id mentioned id been ill , but they forgot to mention there were 2 children with confirmed swin flu at the school who were also with the year six children my son had been with all week and I was sitting in the same hot stuffy hall greattttttttttt …
hope we all have a good weekend and roll on 2010 xxxx
Lisa will have sleeve in 7 days they say !!!
Hi Lisa,
Now you have to tell people that the sleeve is the must have fashion assessory of the summer and how you had to order one. I went out with mine on today, shopping and forgot it was there. I think most people think its that thing you have on after a broken arm and dont take any notice. I didnt notice any funny stares (unlike when i go out with a cap on).
By the way, heartburn, i had that terrible until onc gave me lamsoprazole, now thats one medication that does work 100pct.
I am now on tamoxofen which has a new set of se’s to deal with. Constant muscle pain and bloating. Both i know i am just going to have to put up with for foreseeable future. Hopefully it will get easier as time goes on. When i say constant pain, it is bearable but just there all the time.
i have five whole weekes of rads, have bought the penny brohn radiance cream (supposed to be good and had better be for the price) and i am taking co enzyme q10 - apparently good for keeping up energy levels. We are hoping to go on holiday first and i am browsing sites to find something suitable.
So remember!!! Posh Spice hasnt got a sleeve, you have…
All the best everyone
Linda
Morning all
Sorry to hear you are ‘sleeved up’, can’t be nice not in this weather. Do you get a say in the colour? Or are they like tights, you know the vile ones that were available as teens…‘American Tan’ or ‘Ecru’?
All ok with me, except for being tired all the time.
I have bought a chillow which is a cool pad that goes under your pillow, will give that a go tonight and let you know what I think. I know I will get my rosie cheeks back soon and I get fed up fighting for a cool spot on the pillow of a night.
Off to Morrisons as daughter has just annouced she is cooking tonight and is horrifed that I don’t have custard powder - didn’t think they still made it! What’s the point when you can pour and go!
Take care everyone…
Daisy x
Hi all,
My lovely sleeve is a beautiful shade of American Tan, lucky me, got it on now and i am getting used to it. In this weather its that or have arm swell up even more. I am seeing an mld specialist this thursday so hopefully some massage might get it down a bit more.
Let me know about the chillow and where did u get it? I am on the tamoxofen now but so far (touch wood) hot flashes havent been a real problem, the bone aches have!!!
With the custard, i dont pour and go, i open a tin LOL.
Going to finish clearing up for the cleaners i have booked to spring clean tomorrow. I know, daft isnt it?
All the best
Linda
Hi Ladies had 5th chemo Friday and feeling crap think I did to much over weekend so Ive locked the door and not letting anyone in not in very good mood !!!Oh I will have to let the man in to look at the fridge its broke again and we did a big shop because of chemo week …
Ive got to wait a week for my stocking had to order it in , the massage your having is that private or nhs ? and the tamoxafen is that cause your hormone pos sorry loads of questions its just I Have blanked it till now but as its getting closer I feel I neeed to know more . As with your rads is that the normal cycle I was hoping for 3-4 weeks as its every day ,I know I cant tell them there job but it would be great to tell them how inonvienent it all is LOL .
Daisy glad your feeling ok where are you with it now I think youve finished chemo aswell is that right , are you also on tamoxafen and its treating you well I do hope so we dont need more crap …
Speak soon ladies hope to be in better mood then rawwwwwwwwwww
Lisa .