Ive been using the cold cap but after a couple of rounds of EC I have a significant bald patch which is getting harder to hide.
I am moving on to weekly chemo soon and just don’t think I can do the cold cap weekly, think I’d always assumed chemo would be 3 weekly not weekly.
In all honesty I’m so scared of losing my hair and what I will look like which I know probably sounds vain. I have never had short hair and think it will look odd on me. However I am dreading the cold cap more than the chemo.
i just don’t know what to do - whether to persevere or just admit ‘defeat’. Think at the back of my mind I’m worried if my hair goes it will never come back. Plus I am not a hat or scarf person.
Thanks for listening. As daft as this may sound I am less worried about the prospect of a mastectomy than losing my hair.
I don’t think there’s a woman on the site who wouldn’t recognise how you’re feeling. I really feel for you and admire the fact that you’ve managed the cold cap 3 times. But it’s not infallible. There’s no guarantee it will work and, in your case, it’s sending a clear message. The fact is, some chemo treatments affect the hair follicles and it’s almost irresistible. That feeling as a clump slides out is horrible.
So now’s the time to accept what’s going on. You know your health is more important than your long hair and these constant reminders that you’re losing your hair are a really bad influence on your self esteem. If you can do it, I’d say take the bull by the horns now and get yourself a buzzcut (no 6 is what I had). It was a surprise to look in the mirror but a buzzcut suited me and suddenly I felt good. If you’re having paclitaxel, you will lose your hair - everywhere. But I retained my buzzcut because there was no brushing and I could just smooth shampoo over my scalp in the shower without any rubbing. So the hair stayed put, a bit sparser but still my hair. Some women just go straight to a full head shave. I did get a wig but I wore it maybe 5 times. I preferred a beanie (I treated myself to two cashmere beanies I wore together) because your head does get cold. On the plus side, it’s winter and you won’t look odd in any kind of head gear. You will need to buy sleep caps at least - they will prevent friction which can loosen hair and capture any hair that decides its time is up, better than seeing a pillow covered in lost hair every morning.
Hair starts to grow back about 2 weeks after your last treatment. It is unpredictable how it will grow - curly, a different shade - but eventually it goes back to normal for most women. In the meantime, it feels gorgeous - soft as a puppy! Obviously, it won’t be the you that you remember when you’re looking in the mirror because it will be a while before you get long hair again but you’re still you! Meantime you can keep yourself intrigued by how important body hair is. The stuff I wanted to go, like leg hair, stayed put but losing my eyelashes (I retained 7) was upsetting. On went the glasses! You learn just how important things like nasal hair and pubic hair are and how we take them for granted.
Hopefully you’ll get some replies from women who have been in the same position as you. I was used to short cuts and crops over the years so maybe it was less traumatising. But there’s nothing you can do to resist this so I’d say resign yourself to the inevitable. The cold cap is proving unpleasant, adds hours to your treatment and is not fully working for you. It’s time for decisive action - and if you don’t want to be seen with a crop, order a long wig through your hospital’s wig service as soon as you can. A well-chosen wig will never be noticed by people not in the know.
I wish you all the best for the rest of your chemo. I know hair is a significant part of our identity, as are our breasts. It’s not vanity and it’s not daft. But sometimes we just have to accept things may be inevitable and it’s up to us to make it a less traumatic experience by changing how we think and feel.
Hey @cs21 - I might be one of the few strange women who isn’t feeling *that* fussed about the hair. It helps that I’ve done this before: it fell out, it grew back. Makes for great stories - shocking hairdressers with tales of “that time I shaved my head”
It’ll be odd, forsure - Jaybro has summed it all up so well. But it’s a chance to see a different style on yourself that you might never have tried, and if it doesn’t suit? Just wait a bit. In the meantime, I’m almost looking forward to digging out my headscarves (and relearning how to tie them!), treating myself to some nice caps, and growing my collection of wigs. I wear them for fun, to parties, so this can (if I squint a bit) feel like a bit of amusement. I probably won’t wear the wigs much until the hair starts growing back in again, but I have my eye on about six funky ones on A’zon (£10-30 each, so not too bad) as well as the more wearable proper one I’m getting.
I hope that might help. It’s not easy, however flippant I might sound, but there are ways to try to look for the ‘bright sides’.
Hi @cs21 , I’m being brief as need to do the school run but I was given a top tip. First, take two paracetamol an hour before your chemo (I checked this was ok with the chemo nurse in advance) and as a result had no problem with the cold cap (it also helped with the three goes it took them to get a cannula in ).
The cold cap info is clear that you may get patches but if you do the cap again just cover hose bald areas with wet hair or perhaps some gauze which nurse can give you.
I’m persisting as I’d rather wear a hat to cover bald patch but have my own hair poking out around the edge. being winter and hats being normal - no one would know.
so this is just to encourage you to keep going xx