Dear all,
So here we are another day into our various stages of treatment. Even though I have made the decision to carry on working, my mindset has certainly taken on subtle changes (or perhaps not so subtle) so that now I am beginning to think that I am: ill; a patient; and someone who should be treated with cotton wool gloves. I now see the world more clearly and notice the small details, like the decorations on the attic rooms on tall buildings - that I would at one time have rushed past and not taken the trouble to observe, and now I do. Everything seems more precious and considered. I think these changes have occurred slowly as my diary fills up with all the activities associated with diagnostics, predictions and battling this disease. And yet all I really want (like all of us) is to return to my previous world, and as a Caron mentioned to me the other day… the previous world, but perhaps with hindsight… i.e. to appreciate what I/we had before the bc set in.
London was like an old-fashioned winter’s day today: cold, frosty hedges and icy pavements, with a watery orange sun high up in the sky. It was not the kind of warmish, greyish day that could pass as any day in any season that has come about through global warming. I really wanted to be outside somewhere walking in the country, possibly following a bridle path or perhaps trudging across a field to visit some ancient monument, stone circle perhaps…
…Instead most of my morning was taken up with Yvonne the wig stylist and fitter. She took my newly purchased wig - which although made to replicate as far as possible my own locks - on a bad day I imagine could easily be seen by others as resembling a yeti or wild big style of a primitive caveman. First she combed it out, wet it all over streaked in conditioner and combed it again. It was already looking sleeker and more calmed down. Then she deftly twisted my own hair into two plaits and positioned the system (the lace wig apparently is referred to as system rather than a wig) on my head and trimmed it, thinned it a little and shaped it as I wear my own hair. She finished by trimming the lace at the front, handing me a mirror - and well… immediately one weight was lifted off my mind. I had hair, and if I did not know any differently, it was my own hair. The system cap is breathable, sits loosely and yet firmly (secured with 28 day glue) on the scalp and can even be showered in the mornings to freshen it up. In some ways it looks better than my own hair now. It wins, just, on lustre… So that was it, I said good-bye to Yvonne and wandered about the house for a while with the system on my head - just thinking I had not lost me. Then once I had spent sufficient time in front of different mirrors in different lights I took of the wig and popped it on the end of the banister - which is functioning for the time being as a wig stand.
It was nearly 2.30pm when I looked at the clock and we had nothing in the house for lunch. So it was off out - to another cafe - and another shopping trip, but just up the road this time to Streatham. Today it was a tuna and sweetcorn baguette (light on the mayo and no butter) eaten in an Algerian cafe with two little finches singing in a cage, chirping away to some lively Spanish sounding music. Then I went to various stores looking for the latest offers on mobile broadband (thinking now about all the forthcoming chemo sessions - and how great it would be to be able to surf the web while being injected) - but in the end was dazzled by all the tariffs, small prints etc - that I decided to leave the decision for another day.
Andie - Corfe castle - never been there but certainly on my wish-list - and as for the cream teas I must try them
Gail - our jobs are/were related as I work in research and knowledge management (in education) and spend copious amounts of time searching library databases
Shell - really hope the pain goes but that your energy levels pick up… keep the suitcase packed
Jo - glad TAX is treating you better so far
Caron - thank you for cheering us all up, for the tips about note-pad - and hope you get a better night’s sleep. We could all go to Brighton. I’ll try to sort out our spare room so you could stay over… must get Jason to clear up some tools though.
Have a good evening.
getsustainable.net/blogfiles/uploaded_images/Hopper-721611.jpg - And finally link to another painting - this time 1950’s America and a rather spooky shot of a manager and his secretary working late into the night
Lots of love Bright xxx
