Glad to hear you’re finally on the mend, Caron - sounds like you had a really rough ride. (Don’t think I’ll see the photos, thanks - bit squeamish!)
Susanne !!! LOL x
Hi Girls
I need friends right now so I have come on here.
I have just had the day from hell.
This morning Peter and I left for the hospital for my normal Herceptin dose and to check if my seroma needed draining again. As we got to the bottom of the road with Peter driving, he said I think I need to go home I feel strange.I thought it could be the start of migrain(SP) so gave him tablets and sent him to bed while I carried on to the hospital.
When I go home 3 hours later he was still on the bed and totally not right. He was so confused it was not true. He didn’t know where I had been, he didn’t know where we were yesterday and he kept asking what day it was.
I phoned our GP who told me to call an ambulance,an ambulance car was here within minutes with a full ambulance only minutes behind and it quickly became obvious that they were checking him for a stroke. We were taken back to the hospital I had not long left and taken to the major injuries A & E.A whole battery of tests followed, including a CT, with Peter in the worst back pain I have seen him in in the 43 years we have been married.(The pain only started just before the 999 crew arrived).The doctor was amazing keeping me informed all along the way. Within 20 minutes of the CT they ruled out a stroke and DX some sort of infection.He has been admitted and they expect to be keeping him for a few days while they get things under control.
They were a horrible few hours and it is only now that I am home and alone with my thoughts, that the ‘what could have beens’ have hit me. He should be OK - now my panic head has something else to worry about.
On the plus side while I was with the BCN this morning she accessed my records and told me that the seroma fluid that was tested for stray cancer cells was clear.
Sorry girls. I have used you to air my fears again and this time not about me.
Night Night everyone, sleep tight.
Andie
Poor you & Andy Eileen!!
Least it wasn’t a stroke and an infectio instead.
At least it took your mind off your BC if nothing else!!
No seriously I really hope he returns to full health quickly.
When do you expect him home?
I expect you will be bakwards and forwards to the hospital now.
My bust/ arm is hurting tonight and I need the seroma draining again !
Andie your seroma is it clear fluid or blood?
Mine is blood which I am told is worse as you can get a clot from it?
i FORGOT TO SAY TO YOU IT WAS A LOVELY CARD YOU SENT ME IT REALLY CHEERED ME UP AND I GOT IT 2 HOURS BEFORE MY OP !YOU MUST HAVE TIMED IT?
Right must go got to get some sleep tonight!
night night love cA XX
Good morning ladies,
Andie - you must be so anxious, and I’m so sorry you now have your husband’s health to worry about as well as your own. I hope he makes a speedy recovery. Do let us know how he gets on - and if there’s anything we can do…
Caron, writing late - like me sometimes. I think I recognise the flowers. thank you. the pain you describe will go off, will just take a week or so.
Kate, just wondering how you are keeping now…
I am getting more sore from the rads, but doing everything I can to moisten and protect the area. …Yesterday I did not just trail back home after being zapped despite fears of catching swine flu - but visited instead the Garden Museum. Next to Lambeth Palace the museum is housed in a converted church and the space is filled with significant artefacts in gardening history - including the gloves and desk of Gertrude Jekyll. I love her gardening style, floating borders with sweeps of colour blending into one another. I once went to see her own garden at Munstead Wood in Surrey, open one day a year as part of the National Garden Scheme. The house, and the smaller cottage that she much preferred were designed by Lutyens - then a young man who went on to become one of our greatest architects. They made an unlikely couple - Gertrude in her 60s, rotund from taking delight in vast Edwardian meals, including six eggs for breakfast - and slow to get around, and the young man starting out in his career. The long borders and vistas at Munstead are exceptional and a site to see if you are lucky enough to catch the one day the gardens are open…
… but I digress. The Garden Museum. It is still nice, though not as quirky as it once was, almost thrown together in a way, before it was brought up to date. In those days it was free of charge and is now six pounds to get in, though I’m not sure it is entirely worth it. Still, it was good to see again the old seed packets from the 1930s, the watercolours of gardening scenes, and the patio garden at the back of the teashop. At one time I used to spend lunchtimes in the garden, and take a book to read - usually one of old Pan horror short stories. A mini Oasis near Vauxhall. The road sounds masked out by the climbing plants and the garden walls. The place also contains the resting places of two historical greats - John Tradescant the botanist - who brought back to England the spider plant and Captain William Bligh of the Bounty. Ornate caskets decorated with strange lands and serpent heads. On the day I was there, members of a retired gardening club were croweded around them taking pictures.
We are thinking of going to the Hampton Court Flower show, weather permitting. Will write later…
Love
Bright xx
ANDIE how is your hubby now? do you have an update?
As you can see my back/side is really swollen now!!
I hardly slept last night I couldn’t sleep on my side or back Steve said I was moaning with pain all night, he rung hospital up this morning, well she (nurse) said he will go mad (surgeon) if anyone else touches her.
Now the hospital has rung saying if I want to get in touch with then can I? (hello I already have done!).
I’m waiting till tomorrow now!! Can’t be an emergency or they would have said (wouldn’t they?)
Gail , Andie , Jo have you all had reports from your scans etc?
I know you were having them.
Love to all love Caron xx
ps I may have got someone else to join us? Mel who I met in hospital she is very nice but I said she would be a long time reading through all our posts?? love C XXXXXXXxxx
pps the orange bit at the top is my crop top !
Cannot quite work out which part of your anatomy this is Caron. It looks like your front… but is it your seroma???
Hope you get this drained tomorrow.
We went to Sissinghurst Castle Garden in Kent which was created by the writer Vita Sackville West during the 1930s. I was quite taken with the famous ‘white garden’ - a mass of white and silver flowering spires - sea holly, hollyhocks, verbascum, marguerites, delphiniums and gypsophila… spilling onto terracotta paths. Not much remains of the castle, just a central tower really - that was what attracted Vita to purchasing the land and creating the garden. From the top there were good views of the apple orchard, beehives and a lake that marked the boundary of the land.
In the gift shop I noticed they were selling little glossy books of the poem ‘do not stand by my grave and weep’.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
I love this - and never thought before who wrote it. The foreword said that the verse was anonymous and had been discovered handwritten on a folded piece of paper inside the pocket of a soldier killed in Afghanistan. Out of curiosity I’ve just looked it up on the web. And it seems its origins are hazy ranging from Native American Indians to a Japanese poet. But most believe it was actually the work of Mary Frye an American poet from Baltimore. It was attributed to her after earlier drafts of it were found in her property. She never published it - but others who knew her were so taken with it that they printed it on cards which they circulated among their community. This is how knowledge of it spread, though it was never lodged for copyright. Strange sometimes how somethings catch on and spread without even trying.
Hope everyone is okay. Thinking of you Andie…
Bright x
Hi susanne A.
I found a lump in my breast or thought it was a lump and like yourself it turned out to be an enlarged lymph node. I had the node removed and was told last week that the node contained cancer cells. I have to have an MRI on Wednesday and following that a biopsy on a lump that they are not sure about (hence the MRI) What was your outcome Susanne after you discovered your enlarged lymph node? The consultant told me it was unusual so I hope you dont mind me asking about your diagnosis. Thanks very much. Karen
sorry girls,
I’ve had a head problem, useless psychiatric team… I’ve been following posts but not been up to doing so myself.
Caron, I’m so pleased you’re home and doing well. You’ve been through hell.I bet Betty was glad to see you!
Susanne, I wished I hadn’t looked at Caron’s op pictures.Do I really want A recon I ask myself?
Gail, how is the little"angel"? I love children and I love hearing about Kai.
Andie,thank God it is an infection. You know I’m on the other end of the phone… if you need a friend,I’m there.
Victoria, your exquisite posts take me to places that I woudn’t see even if I’d been there. Hope the rads aren’t too harsh.
Jo, what alife you lead! I’m such a big Take that fan. I think gary Barlow is a modern songwriter legend. Love Epsom race course , had a wonderful races day there. Spent most of the afternoon in the champagne marquee, not looking at the horses. I love Abba too.
I’ve been watching Tom Jones at Glastonbury today and danced around my lounge with the hound to sex bomb.
Caron, I hope you have a better night.
Good or bad news, my baby of 26 is coming back home to his mum. No it’s great news I miss him like hell.
I’ll have had enough in a month or so. He is like me loves cooking especially Italian, but the mess he makes is unbelievable.
Grandchildren came round today. They had been to the lavender farm and bought me a huge bunch.
Love to all, Kathy
Hi Girls
Short post tonight, it has been quite a weekend and I am absolutely worn out. Peter is still in hospital although thankfully on the mend. They have finally got his back pain under control with morphine, and the confusion is abating the further he is on the antibiotic dose. He thinks he will be home tomorrow but I think he is in cloud cuckoo land. I hope he comes out before wednesday - I have an onc appointment and I need him!
Caron a few pages back you asked if the seroma fluid I had was clear. After surgery it was clear to start with then became cloudy and they gave me antibiotics while they ran tests to check for bugs. In the end there was no infection and the fluid stayed cloudy for 2 weeks. The seroma fluid I had drained 3 weeks ago was really clear.
Bright You have really good weekends and find some really good places to go. Best of luck with the continuing rads this week. How is the skin holding up now. My rads area is still a slightly different colour to the rest of me. No problem just different.
Love to everyone else. My bed is calling
Night Night
Andie
Hello Victoria, just to say I’ve private messaged you.
Kathy
Hi Karen - certainly don’t mind you asking, we all help each other figure this stuff out. Yes, it is apparently very rare to find the lymph node first - my Occupational Health doctor told me he’d only seen it once before in 30 years! I had a very large lump in my arm-pit - 4+cm - it must have come up very quickly, because I’m sure I’d have noticed it before.
I didn’t have an MRI. I had a mammo and an ultrasound, and they found a small lump in my breast - 1.2cm. I still couldn’t feel it at all, even when it had a bluddddy great cross over it! Apparently you can’t usually feel it until it’s about 2 cm. They did a Fine Needle Biopsy on both, and came up cancer for the arm-pit but unsure for the breast lump, so they did a Core Biopsy on the breast lump - that uses a bigger needle and kinda pulls out a plug of tissue. Sounds awful, but it really wasn’t bad, you can feel it pressing down and it makes a noise like a staple gun - but it does cause quite a bruise, especially as she had three goes to make sure she got the bugger! That confirmed it was cancer.
Remarkably, considering how big it was, it was just the one node affected (out of 25) and at 1.2cm the tumour was very small. But it was a Grade 3, which is the most aggressive. So I was “lucky” (well, lucky would have been “it’s just a cyst”) because if it wasn’t for that lymph node I might not have known for months - by which time, it might have spread a lot further.
Good evening all, what an eventful weekend for us all.
Andie, so sorry to hear about your poor husband, I’m thinking of you both, I’m sure you must be very worried about him and all of a sudden you’re the one who’s looking after him when like me you’ve probably got quite used to him being the strong one! My husband Michael is such a great support to me and i’ve been worried sick about him all weekend as he put his back out and in such pain and I feel so bad for him and now I can see how he must of felt seeing me unwell for so long. I hasten to add, that he put his back out before our romantic weekend, not during!lol.
Weekend still managed to be romantic, even though he was dosed up on pain killers and anti inflams. I Had a great time sipping champagne in the bath watching corrie on flat screen tv in bathroom of our country hotel! Oh how the other half live! I even got my Tiffany ring that I had my eye on for our 10 year anniversary. Convinced him that I ought to have a diamond now as life is so short!
Did race for life today and feel really chuffed with myself as did it 2 years ago, before bc, in 1 hour 15mins and this time did it in 57mins! Found it a very emotional event, particularly during the minutes silence and obviously said a big prayer for Shelly.
Caron, I don’t have details of Shelly’s funeral as sadly I’m not able to go, but I could text simon if you like to ask details?
I’m off to bed now, can’t seem to ever catch up on my sleep from last weekend, never mind this weekend and i’m off to Derby tomorrow after Onc appointment, and a very early flight Tues morning to go and visit my friend in Spain.
I’ll be back before the weekend, take care everyone. Hope you continue to improve Caron, boob looks gr8 by the way!
Good luck with rads V
and love to everyone else, get well soon Andie’s husband.
Jo XXX
SHELLY’S FUERAL, it’s ok I know when and where etc.
Eileen really hoping that Peter comes home very soon.
Path report today (gulp)!!
I was told all the cancer he removed was pre cancerous cells!!
What has happened the chemo has worked that good that the cancer has sort of DE EVOLVED (back into pre cancer cells)!!
He got clear margins and he took 17 nodes out, 2 of which I knew where cancerous but even they had died !
I am negative for progesterone & eostrogen (don’t know about her2)
So I am either triple neg or just her2 pos (both of which arn’t good are they??)
He took my stitches out and drained my boob and my back YES BACK!! VICTORIA ! yes it’s my new friend seroma! he got 50 out of boob and 400 out of back there was still more but he didn’t have time as it was coming out slowly, Ive to go back next Monday to have then drained again.
Katemate____ Which bit puts you off? You all know how worried I have been but you were all right the worse bit is deffo the chemo (not the surgery).
I never got a report of the report of my cancer I wonder if he will give me one??
He doesn’t like you to know too much and it was only cos I heard him talking into his dictaphone that I know I am negative.
OHH am feeling more or less alright now , my legs are still a bit shaky though, but I am getting there.
I am going to pay my respects to Shell tomorrow (ONE HELL OF A LADY).
Andie just wanted to know about the colour cos mine is still blood.
love Caron xx
Many, many congratulations Caron. I am so pleased that the chemo got rid of your cancer. Just hoping it is for good. You have had such a difficult time, I’m just pleased that you have had a positive outcome.
I wish I could go to Shell’s service, but not possible with the rads schedule. Writing of which it was cancelled today due to machines breaking down.
I’ve been working at home today - and my boss at work has gone home with flu symptoms. So just as well I’m not going into the office.
Sending good wishes to you all.
Bright x
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVv
Forgot to say when you said about swine flu
It was in thr Grimsby telegraph last week that last week a boy from a school had been diagnosed with swine flu, anyway it said his mum worked at grimsby hospital (Diana Princess of Wales)
I wondered if she would be allowed to work?
I suspect not?
It’s a shame if you knew tomorrow if the machines were still not working you could have come to pay your respects to Shelly.
I think I will be bad tomorrow I always am at funerals especially when it is someone so young, I fall to pieces.
I will try and hold it together I will pay all out respects to her but I will also as well as praying for Shell & her boys (including Si)I will pray for US all too.
love Caron xx
I am still confused though cos he mentioned DCIS how can it be DCIS if it had spread to the nodes?
I wish he’s have given me my report!
Either I am triple negative or her2 + both of which it says are more aggressive (or harder to treat)
I wonder what the likelyhood of it starting in the other breast is?
Know I shouldn’t be thinking like this when I have had good news but I still feel in the dark!
love C x
ps Kate whats wrong have you been ill then? (get better soon )x
Hi girls,
A bit quiet as went down with a lurgy. I think Hubbie thought it might be trotter flu because he has been asking me all sorts of questions. Spent most of Saturday and Sunday in bed…determined to get better.
Caron - fab news about your path report. That’s a really good result. Means you reacted really well to the chemo. Why not ask for a print out of your path report - that’s what I did. Got it off my bcn. Thank you for the photos. It made me think maybe I could go back and do the recon surgery . I’ve been really down buying “special” swimwear etc for my hol…not to mention the expense!! Just wish they had let me have immediate recon like you.
Andie - hope Peter is better. What a time you have been having. Hope he is up and about soon.
Jo…the ring…what a result!! Well done on the race too.
Bright - hope the rads machines behave tomorrow. It’s so annoying. Thanks for the poem.
Kathy - Hope you’re feeling better.
Have been feeling a bit down too. Think about Shell lots. On the one hand…she makes me want to live my life properly and on the other I just get so scared and feel like hope is pointless with this disease. See - this is why I need my nutter doctor!
Have been sorting out monster’s clothes for holidays. What a nightmare he was. Just wants to wear spiderman tops and I’ve bought him a lovely pink number. He has been a bit of a devil today, but then he turned around and said “Kai gives love to Mummy” and kissed me. Ahhhhh. He knows how to work me!!
Much Love all and Caron I will think about you and think about Shell tomorrow.
Gxx