Hello everyone
In need of some job advice please. Dx at the end of 2009. Recon finished for now and have come to real crossroads! I am 42 and have 2 children aged 6 and 9 and currently work part time from home. The work is tiring and stressful at times and I currently work 4 evenings until 10pm and 3 mornings 9-12.30 on the same days.I have done this since 2011 when I had my second reconstruction (Ld flap) and worked around the various operations. I also have a stressful medical negligence case on the go and have done since 2011. It is against the Trust whom I believed failed me on a number of areas regarding my initial recon which needed to be done again after already having 4 initial ops in 10 months. I have been so angry for months, then sad then totally miserable. I have just finished raging at the cancer, for changing my brain and body and now I am tired. I am currently off work for a couple of weeks and don’t want to do the job any longer because it requires so much emotional and mental energy, but I don’t l know what I want to do instead! Feel insure of myself and my skills. I was a teacher before kids and BC and had loads of energy and enthusiasm. I seem to have lost my zest for life after being so angry and sad all of the time, I just feel exhausted.
I am thinking of doing some voluntary work to get me out of the house and meet others, but half the time I still feel sorry for myself ( madness!) although I am getting better now.
Just so unsure of what I want to do next. Any ideas if you have got this far! I am not trying to use BC as an excuse of any kind, but I am genuinely tired from the emotional roller coaster and having to be upbeat and positive for everyone around me for so long.
I can understand how you feel that you are at a crossroads, you have been through a lot and do not need added stress if you can leave it behind.
I am not a careers expert by any means but just a couple of things occurred to me. Firstly, would returning to teaching be an option that you might find appealing? Alternatively I think your idea of finding some voluntary work is a great one. It would give you the chance to use the skills you have and have your efforts appreciated. This site looks useful:
Doesn’t having a BC diagnosis give you time to think? I am in a full on job, and have a !!! work/life balance. I know that but excused it for a few years. Now i really have been given time to think. I am not back at work yet - 13 weeks on from op, my job is quite physical,and i need to be emtionally strong too to deal with managment issues. Tears (that is how it is taking me rather than anger) and dropping things are not going to be helpful…
You are also working from home, which means you probably feel you never escape the 4 walls. Last week I was introduced to a Maggie’s centre - it was wonderful and a place of peace too. Maggies centres - if you google them are a Cancer Support Charity too - for families, carers as well as patients. But voluntary work sounds a good idea, or a local swimming pool or class that you can manage. I have joined a yoga class - can’t do half the exercises, but just watched and picked up their energy
What a brilliant approach you have. It will all happen and in its own time
meanwhile try to build in treats for yourself and for you both - coffee out, etc.
have you got a MacMillan nurse or the like involved with you as a family? They could have ideas for practical help. Helen