Having an emotional day

Hi all,

can’t sleep so thought would check out the website an see whats going on. I halfway through treatment of 6 FEC. 4 down 2 more to go! then rads. i cant blimmin wait. have been coping fine as can be through all ths but have problems sleeping even though I am tired, my mind is racing. Feeling emotional, so much has happened in such a short space of time. have realised that need to get rid of old negative ways of living and embrace a positive attitude, which has always been there just be more concious of it. the past few days have been around family that seem to argue and bicker constanly. it’s really draining to be in that environment and i realised that they may never change, but i can and i can walk away. if i do my whole life will change, may not be better off, but emotionally and mentally i will be away from the atmoshpere. It’s just getting on top of me and today felt like just going and never coming back. i have explained to the people that I do not want to be around this atmoshpere and not good for me or anyone else.
on the other hand i have a family group that are so loving and supportive and i feel full of emotion when i think of them.
Anyway sorry guys, needed to let off some steam as I feel it’s been building up inside for so long and things always seem worse at night when your lying in bed. i know that it is just one of thse off days and i am blimmin well aloud to have one.

Ah feel better already.

Thanks for listening if anyone out there. xxx

Hi Nadia
Its hard to stay strong with little sleep and the wrong atmosphere surrounding you. Can you ask the doctor for some sleeping tablets - that could help a little.I have some that I use for a bad back but I don’t like taking anything on a regular basis as I dont want to be addicted to anything. I’m like you and have a problem sleeping so I tend to take them when I’m desperate for a sleep and it works for me.

As for the atmosphere - what did they say when you told them how it affects you?? when they argue next time are you in any position to ask them to go into another room if they have to argue or can you escape for that period of time.make them aware each time they do it as some people don’t realise they are causing an atmosphere as its second nature to them to argue all the time. I feel for you as I know I couldn’t cope with an atmosphere around me as it would put me in a negative mood and with this illness you really need to stay as positive as you can.

And of course you are allowed to have ‘one of those days’ we all get them and you’ve done the best thing - you’ve shared your feelings with loads of usso hopefully that has helped

I Hope things get sorted out for you
xxx

Thank you Kelyn for your kind words. i eventually got to sleep in then end and feel much better today. the doctors give me 7 nights worth of sleeping tablets the day i have chemo. But they all gone now! i will try some herbal form as i dont want to rely on them in the future.
I have spoke to the people who argue and they usually do go into another room. it’s like walking around volcanoes as you never know when they going to erupt! lol
it does not help that i am home alot more. it’s true that no-one really understands till it’s you.
Anyway i will not let that get me down. it’s just a phase in life.
All the best with the rest or your recovery

xxx

Hi Nadia,

so sorry to hear of your ‘troubles’ with some of those that are closest to you. It is a headache you could well do without right now! You certainly need your rest and a good nights sleep goes a long way to helping us cope with the nasties that chemo brings. I am glad you are feeling better today.

So, how is your treatment going? I remember how we started this journey together. To be honest at times it still all seems a bit ‘surreal’ to me, does it you? My chemo is plodding on nicely, I am on a 3 week break at the mo, woohoo!!! Its due to finish in Oct then, like you, I’ll be having rads. Hormones and Herceptin after that for me, the fun never ends!!!

I had my first counselling session today. It went much better than I thought, although there were many tears it wasn’t at all depressing. I came out actually feeling surprisingly upbeat and much better about how I’m handling things.

I hope you manage to get some peace at home and have a good nights sleep tonight,

Take care and keep in touch,

Kelly
-x-

Hi Nadia

You wrote: have realised that need to get rid of old negative ways of living and embrace a positive attitude, which has always been there just be more concious of it."

Can I just recommend a book that I was so overwhelmed by when I went down with breast cancer and 2 years later went down with brain cancer…it is Mind Power by John Kehoe. The subconscious mind is such a powerful tool, it really is. Every night as I was about to fall asleep I would say to myself “every day in every way I am getting better”. And I did, I am such a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. The book is such an easy read and is not expensive. If I didn’t live in SA I would send you the book, unfortunately we have rather a lot of postmen who are corrupt so won’t take the chance!

I do agree with you though, you need to surround yourself with happy and sincere people while going through this part of your life. I sort of ‘weeded’ out the people who ‘dragged’ me down and got involved with the happy, smiley ones who lifted me up when I was feeling really down.

Can I ask you ladies, as you are all from UK it seems, if councelling is compulsory over there after getting cancer? We have nothing like that at all over here.

Love Roz xx

Hi Roz, thankyou for your reply. i sorry to hear about your cancer. it’s nice to know that someone understands what i am saying, i not competely mad. i will definalty look for the book you recomended. Thankyou.

As for counselling, i have found that most of the cancer hospitals and breast clinics offer counselling services. i never thought I would need counselling and still feel i could go without, but as the offer is there and i have a few niggles on my mind I will give it a try.
Hope this helps. All the best with your recovery.

xxx

Hi Kelly
great to hear from you. I have had my 4th session of FEC, 2 more to go. so should be finished chemo end of august. then rads which sounds like a smooth ride compared to chemo! i found the 3rd chemo was the worst, i was so ill. the fourth one has been more mentally and emotionally challening. my hair has nearly all gone, as has my eye brow and my eyelashes have really thinned out. everyone else says thay have not but i know they have. like you i should be finished around october- I cant wait! to get my life back again. it’s unforunate you have ti have herceptin. the hospital i go to i met a lady there who is in herceptin, i think she finding ok, it’s just annoying going back to the hospital again. it still seems sureal to me, especially on my ‘good’ weeks i carry on doing as before then i suddenly realise whats happened. i think the efffects will carry on after treatment and it’s somethinig we will never forget and will shapre our future. i really do count my blessings, but every now and then the thought of reoccurance lurks in my head. but that just something got to work to deal with.
i sure you have a great support team around you and the counselling has helped lighten the load. Keep in touch throughout this journey, we are nearly there!

love Nadia xxx