Hi everyone, haven’t posted anything here for ages but I hope you can give me some advice. I’m now five years post diagnosis and have finally decided on a reconstruction after a full mastectomy. Have been on the waiting list for a tummy one since May after finally deciding it was definitely the right thing for me. I’ve been told it should be before Christmas and am just waiting for the letter to come through the door. My problem is I’m now having doubts. I’ve just told my 80 year old mother that I’m going to have it done and she has told me I won’t be having it with her blessing, also my sister doesn’t want me to have it done. I just feel that everyone is against me, it’s taken me ages to come to the decision to have it done. I don’t hate looking at myself in the mirror, but am just fed up with having one boob and all the problems with clothes buying. Also I’m panicking about telling my boss that I’ll be off work for up to six weeks. Do any of you that have had it done regret it? Is it really worth all the worry and recovery time? I would be grateful for any thoughts, I’m feeling very alone at the moment.
Charlie,I am sorry you feel so alone in your decision.
I had an immediate recon (LD Flap)in July last year and have never regreted my decision for a nano second.I can wear all my clothes as before.It was hard to come to terms with having had a mastectomy even with the recon but you have done that bit and only have the recon to go.
Due to a small bit of tumour being left behind I was rediagnosed this year and my worst fear was that I would lose my recon.I have recently had rads after a WLE and I felt so sorry for my poor boobie getting zapped and burnt! Its a big OP and needs careful consideration,but its YOUR BODY and YOU who has to live with the problems of a prothesis.
If you decide to go ahead WE will support you if your family find they cannot.
I feel sad for you in this situation,my OH fully supported me with whatever decision I made.I was incredibly lucky.
Love n hugs
Dot
xxx
Sorry to see you are having probs with reconn…well speaking as the biggest mardy bum ,in the whole wide world. i am so very pleased i decided on recon, for me it was harder to imagine myself without a boob, I needed to look different from my mum who died many moons ago due to this. It was definatley not out of any form of vanity, And i believe me recovery was speeded as i still have two boobs
The whole care package was wonderful, no pain, vety very little discomfort and six months on, I am fine.
The recovery from the op was fairly quick, I would say 3 grotty days , then up and about.
I hope you can come to a decision, I am delighted with my results.
I couldn’t pass by without commenting on your problem. I had a delayed DIEP reconstruction in Jan 09. I had lived for 7 months with a mastectomy and like you it didn’t bother me that much, but I found it limiting my life and the clothes I could wear. I did feel slightly guilty electing to put myself and my family through a further operation…however I haven’t regretted it for one moment. You are well cared for and it has certainly given me much more confidence in my body image. I have a cleavage again and I can wear pretty much what I want now without worry. In the summer I wore a bikini…something I never thought I would be able to do again. Neither my husband nor my sister particularly wanted me to have it, but they respected the fact that it was my body and my right to make that decision and supported me because of that. Having cancer took control away from me, having the reconstruction gave me the opportunity to take control back.
Only you can decide if the reconstruction is for you, but it should be your decision…for you. If you explain this to your family maybe they will change their minds and support you. I hope so….
Like Twinny2, just couldn’t let this one go. Had mastectomy 2007 and Diep this year. Was such a big decision, but one that I am so so so very pleased I made. I didn’t realise how just having a cleavage again would make me feel, clothes I can now buy, not worrying about bending down and showing scar, etc, not having that “thing” sit in my bra which seemed to have a life of its own! OH was supportive, some family were dubious, but on the whole they were behind me, but as I see it, I have had BC (twice) and I knew having another op was a risk, but I want to be as happy and content as I can be in the future and made the decision for me, no-one else. Hubby says I had a huge smile on my face after op that made it all worthwhile for him.
If you have a look at the blog I started called Diep April Eeek (something like that) you can follow me, and many others, from the stage you are at now to having a new “belly boob”.
All the very best in whatever you decide, but as others have said, we are here to help and support if you need it.
Ditto the above comments from the other ladies. My situation is different that I just had immediate recon (LD flap) at same time as mastectomy, so possibly an easier decision…? But no regrets.
I don’t know why some of your family are against you having a recon and I feel sorry about that. I am sure there must be concern for your welfare, the extra surgery, etc, and that it is well intentioned. But, as said before, it is your decision, your body, your life, your well-being, etc.
And as for concern about telling your boss…please, this is about your well-being and your life.
I especially think that having taken the time, worry and courage to make a decision for yourself then no-one should say/do anything to give you doubts again. (It may help to talk to someone from the peer support system at BCC, if you feel you need to discuss it with someone who has been in the same situation. I did, and it was a great help.)
The worry is temporary, and I find the discomfort minimal, not too bad, and getting better all the time. My op was only 10 days ago, and I am doing fine. I took a look at myself the other day and had to admit that - call it vanity, emotional well-being, femininity, whatever - I was pleased I had the recon done.
Good luck to you, and sending you love - don’t feel alone
Hi Charlie, I’m 62 and had a TRAM flap reconstruction 4 months ago, after having had a mastectomy 2 years ago. I never doubted my decision to go ahead with the reconstruction, and am absolutely delighted with the result. I had a reduction and lift on the other side at the same time.
Mind you, there was a fair bit of agony afterwards, and I made sure I knew exactly how best to treat the pain. But you get through that.
The next best thing I did was hire a hospital bed for home – I got an electric one – because you won’t be able to haul yourself out of bed after a tummy tuck. It only took me 5 weeks to feel fabulous again
Finally I feel as if I’ve got my body back!
As Gardengirl just said, this is about your body, your life etc.
