Was diagnosed 10th July,having a Masectomy[right] and Reconstruction Surgery[Implant] next week.Am aged 42 and so sad and terrified at what is going on.Need help and reassurance.Mr Hussein is my consultant.Please help me.
What you are feeling is completely normal, my op was on 23rd July and I have never been so frightened in all my life - all I can say is that when it came to going in to hospital, it all seemed to happen so quickly, and then when you wake up, its over. I didnt find this site until afterwards, but Ive found it really helpful that everyone is going through such similar feelings, and that even in the middle of the night you can read what everyone is going through, have you got family (although sometimes I found it hard trying to keep a ‘brave face’ on things in front of friends and my husband!!
I think the waiting is the worse time - wishing this week goes quickly for you
Hello December.
It is such a difficult time for you with so much going on which on one hand feels like the speed of light and on the other feels like swimming through treacle. None of us expects to get a diagnosis like this and so many thoughts (mostly morbid) go through our minds constantly.
I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in May, left Mx and recon (LD flap). I’m currently having to do chemo, then radiotherapy after that. My treatment should be over by Christmas. My moods have ranged from frantic to calm, complete denial to totally accepting, absolutely terrified to knowledgable and confident. The one thing that has been constant is support, from the medics and nurses, from this site and from my family and friends. But you do need to look for that support - I’ve also found that people will talk about little/anything else given the chance, and doctors will get away with the bare minimum if you let them.
Don’t be too afraid of the surgery - if you are suffering nerves badly, go to your GP and get a short course of lorazepam or diazepam to help relax you. Keep busy this week, take your mind of the inevitable and get ready for having to take some time out. Arrange help at home, company, help with children if you need it. The surgery is difficult mentally to cope with, but physically you will probably only be out of action for 2-4 weeks.
I find that I can now say ‘it’s amazing what you can get used to’ on a daily basis. I’m 3 months post op, and enduring intravenous poison every 3 weeks. I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m quite sure that if my future is 6 months or 20 years then I’m going to enjoy it and make nice times for me and mine. I’m determined to take some time out of the rat race, preferably the rest of my life and really get down to what matters.
I, and the rest of the forumees will look out for you and support you to. The futures bright - but much like the weather you may have to endure some stormy days en route.
Big love to you
Td x
Dear december
I remember well feeling really desperate. I felt no-one could appreciate the fear and the torment of having to give consent to have surgery. I really didn’t want to go through it, but I did. You don’t have to be brave lots of us aren’t.
The time will pass, I found waiting the worst.
There are always sympathetic people here, and sometimes you can have a good laugh, seems odd but it’s true.
Mole
December
everyone will be scared at this time but read on this site and you will be supported. Have you read under undergoing treatment, surgery and reconstructive surgery? I am having my second chemo on this thurs, then will have six more b4 I have an op and then I will look on the sites for that. 1 step at a time. Sorry I cant help re the surgery yet but know many, many women have got through the otherside and are doing fine. It is a hell of a lot to get your head around, but you will.
Get strength from these sites as I have done. You are far from alone.
Take care, come back on when yu can, sure you will get more replies from those who know exactly what you are going through,
will be thinking of you,
love Chris xxxx
Hi december
I was in your position 2 years ago and the same age as you too, so I know only too well how frightened you are feeling right now.
I found the waiting the worst part as well. I hope you are getting lots of support from family and friends, but you will also get lots of support from
the ladies on this site who really know how you are feeling, even if you just want to rant, which you probably will and feel better for it too!
I hope it all goes well for you and let us know how you are getting on.
All good wishes
Linda
I too had my mastectomy on 23rd July so nearly 3 weeks ago .I was scared stiff but realised that i had no choice if i wanted to save my life.In some ways that made it easier.Once the pesky b*****d has gone you can move on to the next step.I wanted to get my lumps back so i could stamp on them ,I wasn’t allowed obviously, but i did stamp on them in my head IYSWIM
I also had an immediate recon and I am so glad that I never had to wake up boobless! I wasn’t brave enough for that! Again my recom was my way of putting 2 fingers up to BC.
The nurses in the ward were angels and don’t expect you to be brave all the time and look after you really well.
Keep posting any worries and ask any questions,
I had a thread for surgery/hospital tips ,if you can find that you can start preparing ,new PJs etc Might help you feel you are doing something positive.
All the best,
Dot
xxx
Don’t be scared. You are now on the way to getting better. Everyone is a lot tougher than they think they are when they face things like this.
You will be fine. This awful panic will subside and you WILL be ok.
Molly xx
December
You may feel that you are alone at the moment,but your not everybody on this site is with you.
If you want to cry, rant and yes even laugh,we will all be there for you.
The waiting is worst possible feeling and you will go through every motion there is.
Loads of Hugs Eleanorxx
Dear December
Breast Cancer Care have written a ‘Resources Pack’ for anyone newly diagnosed with breast cancer which you may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can order a free copy from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via the helpline.
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
There is information in the pack about our other support services, including our helpline, tel no 0808 800 6000 which you may find useful to use at some point if you need to talk anything through or just need someone to lend an understanding ear. Alternatively if you prefer you can use email: <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>
I hope this is of some help to you.
Best wishes
Lucy
please dont be frightened, I had a radical mastectomy and full lumph node clearance 5 days ago and to be honest it wasnt half as bad as the horrors I’d imagined to myself beforehand.My underarm is sore but the actual op site is ok.I even hoovered and went out for lunch today.
Youve really got to tell yourself that you dont want this thing growing in you anymore and be relieved that its gone, I know that sounds flippant, but this BC thing isnt something we can really pussyfoot around, if we want to get better, we gotta just bite the bullet and go for it.I’m sure you’ll feel much better when its all over and you can see the road ahead,I know my worst time was the waiting and worrying after DX and before surgery, but now I’ve started the journey I feel more active in my recovery.The Docs and nurses are wonderful and wont let you be in pain and will be there if you need a little weep or chat, remember theyve seen it all before, best of luck
Hi December,
sorry you’re feeling so frightened at the moment. I too felt very scared going down to surgery and when I got there I said ok, I’ve had enough now, I just want to go back to my normal life now! It feels very overwhelming and I was absolutely terrified of having an anaesthetic as I am a complete control freak. But it was fine, everyone was incredibly kind and just said it would be very unnatural not to be frightened. Just keep talking to us and as Eleanor says, have a cry, have a laugh - we all go through every single emotion possible. I’m due my results tomorrow so have relapsed into a weepy mess, but I know in 10 minutes time something will make me laugh again.
Lots of love to you,
Maggie x.
Dear December,
I am feeling just like you - I will be having my surgery on thursday - and yes I’m terrified and dreading it. As all the girls on here will tell you, they all felt exactly the same, but they came through okay - and so will you and I. I just want it to be over now and get the other side, but know that what I am feeling is the norm.
You will be well looked after and no harm will come to you.
I wish you all the best, you will be fine,
Love Traceyxxxxx
Dear December - read our thread “Confusing”. The waiting is really horrible and you are bound to feel lots of emotions - but everyone is right and we get through it because we have to. So take all this advice and all our love and best wishes - and try to laugh because it really is the best release and two fingers up to cancer
Oh and check us out for all the top tips, including what to wear with surgical stockings…
Love Tuesday xx
Hi December and Moonshine
Any surgery is scary and the nature of ours is so intimate, but you’ll be taken good care of and I found the physical result no where near as horrid as I was imagining. Try to stay positive, this is the start of your recovery.
All the best x
Thank you to you all for all your support,I want to hug all of you.This website is a real lifeline.United together.May god bless all of us.xx
Hi December. I can only add my support here as others have too. I visited by consultant on Wed 6th Aug and was on the operating table Fri 8th Aug (totally unexpected as thought was having chemo first). I was in such a spin I didn’t have time to think about as much as you, but when I got to the hospital, I went wobbly at the knees as it started to sink in.
Listen … I’m such a scardy cat, girlie whirly. I hate pain. I’ve never been in hospital, I was petrified. I was crying, I was praying etc. However, remember this. Barely a week later, I’m now at home, feeling just fine. It’s all behind me. I’m out walking the dog, doing light housework, having a bath/shower without any problems and no pain. I can honestly say, it wasn’t NEARLY as bad as I expected and you’ll be the same as the all the other ladies here have been too.
Just a bit sore for a couple of days, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Once your drains are out you’ll really feel so much better too. You will look back on this. It’s also a one hurdle out of the way. You’ll be fine. You will amaze yourself. I want to give you a big hug back and I just know you’ll be back here saying the same as the rest of us. Lots love and take care. Good luck to you x x x
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December, what date is your op hon?
nothing I can add to what the others have said, just good luck with the surgery and we are all behind you.
Love Lilac