Hi,
stunned to find so many people in a similar situation to me on here! Looking around the waiting room at my breast care clinic I thought I must be the only young mum going through this but it seems I was very wrong! Sorry to find you all here but glad that everyone sounds so supportive.
I had a lumpectomy almost two weeks ago and get my results on Wed- have been warned to expect the works treament wise as I’m only 31 so think I’ll be having chemotherapy either way.
I have two little boys Ben 3 years and Harry 8 months. And the biggest thing I’m struggling to cope with (Apart from losing my hair- obviously!)is not knowing how to plan for childcare in the coming months- how often does chemo happen? How long for? Is it the same day every week?? Is it different depending on your type of treatment or will any of you be able to enlighten me? Only have 3 more days to wait to find out some concrete answers but the waiting is excruciating!
and P.S. if one more person asks me to be positive I think I’ll scream!!! Xx
Hello Ben’s mummy,
My children are probably as old as you, but I really sympathise with you having to cope with young children as well as BC. You will manage though as others in the same boat have.
Re chemo. It is normally every three weeks - usually on the same day, for 6 (sometimes 8) cycles. Sometimes there is a week’s delay if your blood has not recovered enough. Knowing that should help you to plan child care. Everyone is different with side effects, but on the whole expect not to feel too good the first few days. Some people are OK though, but be prepared. Accept any offers of help for meals cooked, ironing done etc. People like to help and you will need it.
We all know what you mean about ‘stay positive’. I think most people on here would say, take it a day at a time, it is do-able and you will get there. Your lovely boys although you may need some help will also keep you busy and help to keep your mind off things.
ther’s plenty of advice on here too about coping with different chemos and it’s nice to journey along with others starting treatment at the same time as you.
Good luck on Wednesday. You’ll feel better when you know what is happening and you can plan your strategy to get through it.
Hugs. Stella xx
Hi Bens mummy,
Bittersweet welcome. It might also help you to plan to know that chemo usually starts 2-4 weeks after your post-surgery results (once wounds have healed well enough). Hopefully your surgeon achieved clear margins with your surgery, otherwise you might have to have a 2nd surgery to shave a little bit more off just to get the clear area - that’s what happened to me.
I had an ONC appt on the Tues following my 2nd post-op results on the Fri. Chemo started 2 weeks after that. In my hospital breast cancer chemo is always on Tue but they use Thur & Fri to ‘mop up’ who couldn’t fit in the scheduled days + other treatments like Herceptin, so there might be a bit of scope if really necessary.
It’ll be hard to plan for childcare once on Chemo as we all react differently. I think I’m pretty lucky in that I was only ‘off’ for the evening of treatment. I rested for 2 days after but went back to full-time work on the Friday.
Good luck for Wed - as Stella says, it gets a little bit better once you know what the plan of action is.
xx Chris xx
Hi
My children were 2 and 5 when I started Chemo. I had 3 fec and 3 tax Chemo and the side effects were different for both so my coping plans were different. Personally I found it easier to manage the children on tax, but others are different. Coping tiips
Have the freezer stocked with frozen meals so you don’t have to think about cooking.
Forget about housework
Accept all help with children and feel no guitl about resting- let those with energy run around with the kids.
If available get grandparents, relative to have sleep overs to help you catch up sleep, if steroids are a problem.
Prepare for the worst, but do t be surprised if you actually feel ok.
Oh and mention to those looking after your children not to treat them with food - sympathetic caring people think this help but an ice cream addiction is hard to break- lol
Talk to your health visitor about what they may have to offer
I felt rubbish on fec ( other find this ok) and needed help for about 10 days, on tax I only needed help for two
days each cycle.
I completely understand your need to be prepared, but we are all so different it Is hard to know what it will be like for you. Reading through Chemo threads may help, but remember people often only post if something bad has
happened and have less to say if all is ok. Also remember your medical team are there to help you through.
Good luck. Please keep asking questions.
Debx
Hi Ben’s Mummy,
Welcome but sorry you ahve a reason to post on here, it is a great website with alot of supportive people with lots of great advice.
I am 34, I also had a lumpectomy and a full node clearance, my cancer is a grade 3 HER+++, ER+, I have a 19 month old daughter.
I started my chemo 21st Feb, yes it is the same day each cycle, it is usually every 3 weeks, the oncologist will decide if you need chemo and what type and how many cycles - for example I am having 6 cycles 1 every 3 weeks.
I understand what you mean about childcare, my daughter goes to nursery twice a week and I have help from family and my fiance is at home evenings etc… I have had one chemo and I really only needed help for the first 3 days since then I have not been too bad and have been able to look after my daughter on my own.
Hope all goes okay for you and keep posting
Take care
Donna xx