Hello everyone,
I have been looking in on the forums for some time, since my diagnosis with grade 3 invasive ductal breast cancer, at the end of October but this is my first time writing.
I am 33 years old, fit and well I thought, healthy until I was diagnosed with this!
I found a lump back in June, saw a consultant, who didn’t seem too concerned but suggested I had an ultrasound. The radiologist didn’t seem worried either and sent me home but asked me to come back three months later for another scan “just to put everyone’s mind at ease”.
Three months later, I had another ultrasound, they did a core biopsy and 10 days later I found out the bad news.
The treatment I received was very fast, bone scans, cat scan etc and I went in for a WLE a month later. Unfortunately, although the surgeon removed all of the cancer, there was pre-cancerous change in the surrounding tissue. So I went in for a second operation. It was the same result again and they decided to go ahead with a third operation, a mastectomy. At the same time as that they took some random core biopsies of the other breast and today I went back to get the results.
My results appointment had been brought foward from next week so I was expecting bad news again but It’s all ok!! The cancer has gone and the other breast is fine!! So now the next step is chemotherapy in about 4 weeks time.
The weird thing is, I feel kind of numb or shell/shocked?! I didn’t expect good news and now that it has finaly come, I just feel strange.
All my family and friends are celebrating and I know I should be too but I just feel that I have all the chemotherapy and radiotherapy to come, like this is just the beginning. And although the cancer is gone, my breast is too.
I want to feel happy but I just feel tired.
Did anyone else feel like this?
I’d be happy to hear from any of you.
Thanks and good luck to all of you.
BlueRose
Hello, BlueRose,
I think the way you feel about this is understandable. You have come to the end of one part of your treatment, and that should be cause to celebrate, but you have still lost your breast - and you are apprehensive about the chemotherapy and radiotherapy ahead of you. Worry and fear are both very tiring, as are anaesthetics.
This is my second breast cancer. I was 31 first time round and had lumpectomy and rads. After 21 years, I have a new primary. I’m just coming to the end of my chemotherapy, and am now facing a single or double Mx, node clearance and possible hormone therapy. I am really scared about the surgery, but hope I can reassure you about chemo and rads. Chemotherapy is unlikely to be as unpleasant as you think it will be. Most people get side effects, but I’ve never heard of anyone getting them all, and you can get medication to help with them. Just make sure you tell your oncologist or GP about any side effects. And once you have finished the chemo, rads should be a walk in the park. I know everyone is different, but you are young and fit so you should cope well.
It’s much easier for your family to see the positives in your situation and celebrate the end of your surgeries. You are moving from the known (surgery) to the unknown (chemo and rads), and are bound to feel insecure - and keep telling yourself that you should be happier about finishing that particular stage of your treatment. The past few months have been horrible for you, but you have got through them, and you will get through the next few months as well. Just keep telling yourself the summer will be better.
Hugs,
Margaret x
Hi bluerose
I am 4 weeks postop and I totally understand what you mean about feeling numb or shell/shocked?! I didn’t expect good news when I got my postop results on 19<sup>th</sup> December when the surgeon told us the good news I did not react with joy my OH showed more emotion than me like you say. I felt numb I think this is because I expected bad news and
Everything happened to fast .I joined the site 9 days after surgery it took me having surgery for every thing to sink in, it all happed so fast from diagnoses to surgary.6 weeks I felt that I had no time to think I had routine mammogram on the 24 October and was recalled to attend hospital on 7<sup>th</sup> November and after more tests I was diagnosed on the 15<sup>th</sup> November with IDC.i had sugary on the 7<sup>th</sup> December WLE,SNB,and therapeutic mammoplasty( breast reduction) on my right breast I was Es and Pr+ and taking Anastrozole and I am waiting to start Rads. Due to a blood condition it was suggested that I wait to have my good breast reduced to avoid complications. I feel like I am in limbo I hope that after I have Rads and the other breast reduced that I can move on. You have come to the right place the lades on this site will give you support and encouragement they are an inspiration big hugs .Ann.G
Hello Margaret,
Thanks for replying.
I’m sorry that you have to go through all this again, 31 was so young, I can see that I’m not alone.
I have not got much advice to offer you as you have already been through all this but all I can say is that the surgery wasn’t as bad as I had feared and although I have not really come to terms with the loss of my breast - I still can’t believe it! - it was over pretty quickly and so far I am not in any real pain.
Wishing you all the best for your operation, it’s normal to be scared but it’ll be ok. You seem like a strong person and you’ll get through it again.
Best wishes
Hi Ann.G,
It’s good to know that I am not alone in feeling like this. It’s so strange isn’t it? When I had the bad news, I was trying to be upbeat and cheer my family up, making jokes, smiling through. Then when I got the good news, I was just silent. And I have been pretty quiet since!!
Maybe it is, like you say, because everything moves so fast? Which is a good thing as it means we are on the road to recovery sooner, but it all just comes as such a shock doesn’t it? Nothing has time to really sink in.
Wishing you lots of luck with your next steps.
Thanks for talking and all the best,
BlueRose