Hi Kate
Here’s a link to the ‘talking to children’ publications you have mentioned in your post:
breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/ConWebDoc.365
Best wishes
Lucy
about 3 weeks ago i was told i had secondary breast cancer in my liver.
it is such a shock i have a husband and a six year old boy. the thought of not seeing him grow up is almost unbearable.
but i am going ahead with chemoand that sems to be working.
all that i have read here from you brave ladies is inspirational.
just wanted to say thanks.
fiona.
x
I was diagnosed with brain mets 3 weeks ago. It’s been the longest 3 weeks of my life, not helped by the fact that this all happened 1 day after I moved house so I’ve been in shock and without my beloved broadband and I can’t find anything.
After I heard the stats I thought I’d be a goner in a few days. A few days later I felt like I’d be lucky to make it to the end of the week. After a week I thought maybe I’d see the end of the month. That’s what shock does to you.
I wasn’t sleeping at all well either, waking up at 4 am like a startled rabbit caught between the headlights of a Juggernaut. So I went to the docs to talk about anti depressents and sleeping pills in case I needed them. I’ve got some just in case but haven’t used them. I preferred the “a glass of red wine is just as good” advice. I’ve personally found that and using “rescue night” has worked well on me and OH (rescue night’s by the same people who make rescue remedy).
I’m not shaking now, and not as scared. Am planning my wedding in 5 weeks and things I want to do, maybe try the same.
I also had MacMillian around yesterday who are going to help me with paper work for DLA etc and things like getting second opinions. You might like to talk to them if that suits you better. I really like the guy I saw and we talked about what it’s like dying from cancer and actually a lot of preconceptions I had are very very wrong and it doesn’t have to be that way so let yourself get past the fear.
Gotta go shave my head again now back later.
Angie
Re the original post!
Just wanted to say that I was diagnosed with three sternum mets and one to right lung - three years ago. Now I am very well and still working.
So a diagnosis of sternum and lung mets does not have to mean you have only months to live - far from it. There is still plenty that can be done and if you find a treatment that really works for you it can carry on working for a long time.
Have hope
Justy x
Hi
I too have had sternum mets 4 years ago now! and its fine. I have since had regional recurrence in boob (april 07 -had bilateral m) and also then lung mets and t4 vertebrae in spine in nov 07) i have only had radiotherapy on spine (one zap) and on arimedex and bondronat and haven had chemo and am doin fine - am still working and live life as normal.
so please dont give up yet there is plenty of time ahead!!! think positive!!! 
and keep fighting!
XXX
Hi All
Sorry for not getting back to you all sooner.
Just wanted to say thanks everyone for all your positive feed back and advice on this subject. Once told, I had visions of going down hill fast, but you all seem to be having a “normal life” - That is reassuring in it’s self. So I am making plans to do more travelling once this lot of treatment is done.
Seems like a positive mental attitude is going to go a long way in getting us all through this.
DippyKate - You are an inspiration to me, thank you for taking time out to respond. It is really very much appreciated. Your advice and tips on coping, benefits, who to ask for help to fill in the paperwork and advice on memory boxes (my daughter liked that one), have helped greatly.
I now have a mountain of form filling to do. I should get my blue badge for the car today. Also found out that I can get a disabled bus pass that allows a carer to travel free. This will be great for getting to and from hospital appointments. If anyone can think of anything else I haven’t claimed for, let me know.
I do however; I still think someone out there should have a standard list of benefits we maybe entitled to. Therefore saving us trawling to the different departments and having to explain our prognosis to all and sundry - Not a pleasant experience when you’re still trying to get your head round it all.
Thanks again everyone and good luck to you all.
Avril x
It is always terrifying when first diagnosed with primaries, traumatic when diagnosed with secondaries. After all who thinks this is going to happen to us - not me for sure.
I think for me it took a long while for the penny to drop in some senses, a lot of disbelief and shock and then of course barginning and grieving.
Everytime I hear other women say I’ve been here for * years, I admit it makes me more hopeful, and I do believe I will be a survivor - whatever that may men when you have a terminal illness. I also know that that can change very quickly.
I don’t believe that having a positive attitude makes you live longer, but i do believe it helps you live more enjoyably, and so I do. My glass is half full and rising - but that is not always the case.
Stay well and take good care, and go on holidsys
Thank you DippyKate for your trouble and time in setting out all those helpful and practical things in your post. This is the first time I’ve posted. I have been reading the posts on this site since Christmas when I was diagnosed with further secondary spread, and I have been so down. I was originally diagnosed 12 years ago when my youngest was born. I am on my own with 3 children and identify so much with what all you lovely ladies say. My lovely lady onc retired recently and I have been put in the hands of a new chap and I’ve told him I don’t want to know the prognosis at this stage - I find it better to not know, and the posts here are making me realise that women can live longer than expected and as you all say, no oncologist can actually predict when your time is up. Sending everyone hugs,
Claire
Hi celticdreamer
As your name suggests, please dream away those horrible fears of death and desolation. We are all here as one big family and you can take comfort from this. How are the little ones coping? are you still working? Thinking of you.
Dee x