i went to the hospital yesterday consultant felt my breast and said he was sorry he new it was cancer sent for scan biopsy and mamogram he said my lymph modes felt clear i feel like ending it all what if theres nothing they can do cant sleep or eat making myself ill
Ahhh traci, there will be something they can do. The waiting and not knowing is by far the hardest bit. Do you have anyone looking after you at the moment?? Its totally okay to be stressed and panic, this is tough and horrible but they can treat you.
Hi Traci, don’t panic - wait until you get the results of the scan and biopsy. There is so much they can do these days. I have just had my tumour removed and a biopsy done on my lymph nodes. Got to wait for the results. It’s the waiting in all of this which is the worst part, but once you get a treatment plan in place you will feel better. There are so many of us going through this, I never thought it would happen to me as I’m an extremely active person, I eat healthily and don’t smoke or drink much. Mine was only picked up by my first mammogram so I’m lucky they found it! Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you are feeling? Please try not to worry too much until you have a definite diagnosis. Wishing you well xxx
Aarh traci so sorry to hear they will help you and sort treatment for you as soon as results come. Your in good hands. I know it’s hard but try and think positive they have caught it and will do everything possible for you. Sending big hugs. Need to chat am here for you x
Hi Traci and welcome to the BCC forums
I am sorry to read that you are so worried, our helpliners are back on Monday at 9am so please feel free to call to talk this through on 0808 800 6000 ( open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2 although closed for maintenance today)
Best wishes
Lucy BCC
Traci my love I was in your shoes not so long ago and was paralysed with fear but things were not as bad as I feared and I’ve learned so much over the past few months from the specialist’s looking after me and the tremendous support I’ve received from this forum, they can’t know anything for sure until your biopsy results come back and like you I was told my nodes looked clear and they were so that’s a really good sign that it’s not spread anywhere if it is indeed cancer, mine was removed very quickly and I’m now just starting 3 weeks of radiotherapy next week ,the panic your feeling is totally normal but things will gradually get better I promise you,please keep talking to us and don’t feel you are on your own xxx love Jo
Traci,
As all the other ladies have said it does get better. I was put on anti depressants when first diagonosed and they really helped as i felt like my world had fallen apart. My treatment was exactly the same as Kims a lumpectomy followed by rads. Nodes clear. Agree that if it is cancer they have caught it early and it hasnt spread as they have felt ur nodes and no signs of swelling so thats good. What ur going through now is the worst bit but you will get through this. Sending you a hug xxxx
Thanks for everyone and your lovely replies my husband has been so supportive its so reassuring to hear all ur comments I just keep thinking I wont c my children grow up im such a negative person thanks everyone xxx
Hi Tracey I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and know how you feel. You will def feel better when treatment starts. It’s normal for you to have these feelings - I have good and bad days and times were all I do is cry. It’s ok pick yourself up and keep going love. We’ll get through this xx
Hi
I was diagnosed stage 2 grade 3 IDC on 10th April, had lumpectomy and AND on 14th May, i get my results on 29th May 3 days after my daughters wedding. Had hoped to keep it all from her till after her big day, but that wasnt ever going to work, she knows and is pleased she does. Im all over the place, anxiety is back, dark thoughts, what if’s, I do try to stay positive but find night times especially difficult. Im new to this and wasnt sure what to expect. From what I have read so far there are some amazing supportive people on here.
T x
Welcome Flowergirl,
We are a very supportive bunch. I got so low and frightened when i got diagnosed i went to my GP and got prescribed Citlopram, an anti depressant. It really worked. Also when approaching surgery day was prescribed dizapam as well day before and day of surgery. Really helped as i had a severe phobia about surgery all my life which didnt help. Now i’m not only BC free but dont have my phobia anymore or the anxiety or panic attacks from first few weeks after dx.
Now just about to start rads and tamoxifen. Drugs can be really helpful. I am normally a cheerful upbeat person and have never taken anti depressants before but can honestly say they have made things a bit easier to deal with. Hope that helps xxx
Thanks DizzyDee
It really is overwhelming when you realise how many people are going through this, and read all the positive messages on here.
I had been on Citalapram a few years ago for anxiety but had been fine until all this stress and upset. I actually wondered if anything could work. Everyone keeps telling me im doing great and how strong i am, but inside Im confused and scared. Although i have had the op i havent had the results, i hadnt even given those a second thought as I was so consumed with wanting this out of my body but was dreading surgery, I too have a fear of this. Now im totally fixated on Nodes, results and all the what ifs, my poor husband I think his head is battered. I think ive lost the concept of rational thinking! I cant even bear to touch or look at my breasts. I know its little steps but these past 5 weeks have taken their toll.
TXx
Hi Missydec
Thank you for your message. Im trying not to talk about it too much at home as again I think hubby is swamped with it. He does try to be the voice of reason.
I just feel very sad, tense and rather lost by all of this, but as you say ‘we’ll get there’.
Its a week today since I had my surgery so I do know how you feel. Is your next surgery due soon?
Its tiring and very surreal, but its lovely to know there is support and encouragement here. Im using every bit of positivity left in me at the moment to get through my daughters wedding next week TXx
Thank you Xx
Hi Flowergirl. Lymph node removal scheduled for the 9th June. More waiting! I’m going to try and concentrate on being fit and well for surgery. Past few days haven’t been good. It’s hard when your world has stopped and the rest of the world keeps turning. Trying to get positive again x
Hi Missydec
How are you doing? Not long to wait now, and I do know how youre feeling.
I had busy week last week, daughters wedding and my results. A bit of a mixed bag really. I have to have another op on the 11th June as small amount of DCIS was found right on edge of tumour margin, good news was only 2 nodes out 23 positive but im Triple Neg. But this didnt seem to worry the care team at all. Ive had a very down day today lots of bad thoughts and crying, suppose not good to keep it in. Few questions I still need to ask them although very little I can do about most of it.
Take care Tracy xx
Hi Jinny
Thank you for your encouraging message, I really appreciate it.
Yes, low sums it up. Ive just lost any positivity i had. Im so swamped by it all, and dark thoughts, it just gets too much. I cant sleep these past few nights my mind wont switch off.BC is a lonely place to be at night with your thoughts.
Take care Tracy x
Hi Flowergirl
I’ve a really **bleep**ty week feeling really low. Ready for hospital tomorrow for ANC and already worried about the results! They found a DCIS with me too! Hope you had a great time at the wedding. One day at a time xx
Hey Missydec
It must be the week for feeling down. Will be thinking of you tomorrow you will be fine and find that strength because you have to. Yes, one day at a time so try not to worry about the results. I know easier said than done. The wedding was amazing thank you, she looked lovely and happy, I was a very proud mum (even though I was breaking up inside). Let me know how things go xx
Hi Jennifed
I have had those exact same feelings; of grief, an ache in my stomach at the thought of leaving my two girls (even though married now) and husband, friends. I was yearning for my life back the one I had 7 weeks ago, the one I moaned about, before it was changed forever, nothing looks or feels the same once you get that news! I feel like its just one big uncertain mess at the moment. I keep getting weird aches / discomfort round my sides and ribs, so have convinced myself its spread already before Ive even had my treatment. Im just driving myself (and hubby) crazy with it all, the what ifs etc. I try to be positive and think right then you sod you’re not gonna beat me then whooosh positive thoughts, gone! Thank you for the message of support and encouragement, I really appreciate it. How are you now, have you had treatment yet? Take care Xxx