I know this is going to sound awful, but I put off the date to start Radiotherapy 3 times now because of work I want to keep working and have the treatment after I finish each day I have felt that the Radiotherapy deparment forget that some of us are happy to work. I think im just useing that as an excuse not to have the treatment I also want to stop takeing the tamoxifen I hate the way I feel, the way I look I lost my mo-jo I have no sex drive I feel like im in a big pit and cant get out and I dont think I have real cancer so dismiss people who care. Is this normal is there something realy wrong with me!!
Hi misschippy,Have you spoken to your oncologist about the benefits percentage wise that you would get from rads and tamoxifen,it might help you make a decision. I know some dont agree but DCIS is real cancer it’s not pre cancer it is cancer that hasn’t got the ability to spread yet.I had grade3 comedo DCIS and invasive and a positive node so had the works.I was told that if the DCIS was left it would have gone on to be grade3 invasive at some point,but I think for lower grade it may not go on to be invasive.Also if your DCIS was strongly ER PR positive then tamoxifen would be a real benefit.
Melxx
Hi No there’s nothing wrong with you !!!
Firstly, Have you explained to your Rad team you want to be able to still work, I don’t see a problem it only takes approx 15 minutes …
Have a chat with them and see if they can help you out on times, I’m sure they will.
As for the Tamoxifen I totally understand how you feel, I too am fed up of this, BUT, I always have to think, the what if !!! What if I get mets elsewhere I would never forgive myself for not seizing everything offered… Yes there bad, make you feel like crap buthey ho we are still here !!!
As for not accepting the BC, again normal… I feel often it’s happening to someone else, or even to the degree what if I was wrongly DX, although I know this was not possible…
Dont beat yourself up… But do think seriously before stopping ANY treatment, the plan is to beat this crap and without doing all you can I believe you lesser your chances… Sorry, if it sounds hard but i think it’s true !!!
Good luck, love Teresa xxx
Oooo, think I got my wires crossed I though that you meant you didn’t think you had real cancer because you had DCIS,sorry 
Melxx
I think it’s entirely understandable to want to block things out and carry on as though nothing has happened. To some extent we need to do that in order not to go mad with it all. I would be very surprised if the rads dept weren’t sympathetic to you wanting to fit it around work.
That said I do think some perspective may be needed here - it’s only another 3 - 5 weeks of potentially life saving treatment. I hate taking tamoxifen but I hate the thought of cancer more. I don’t know what your diagnosis is but it does sound like you need to speak to your Onc again about why you need the rads and tamoxifen to be reassured that you’re doing the right thing.
take care, Elinda x
Misschippy, this might be a bit late, but have you considered the possibility that you might have a bit of depression? That “big pit” thing you describe does sound awfully familiar to me, as I’ve had depression in the past not linked with cancer, and I’ve read that cancer patients can be susceptible. It might be worth speaking to your GP about it and see if you can get some help with it, because you deserve all the help you need to help you get through this.
At the cancer centre that I’ll be going to they have a support bit, and they also organise counselling sessions, massage, all sorts of additional bits and pieces to help us get through it, so do ask if there’s something like that where you’re being treated.
Best of luck and I hope things have got a bit better for you since your post.