Came on to say that having a funny old up and down day as realised it was a year ago i found the lump! Coupled with a very productive 2 days at work, lovely weather, good appointment with lymphodema nurse (only boob luckily) and finally fitting in a covid jab at 9am. Really feeling jab now so a bit down and feeling like been living with this for 2 years not 1! Only another 6 months of Kadcyla to go, ho hum.
3 Likes
Why does it grow like that? Mines the same!!!
2 Likes
Maybe weāre secretly sewer clowns and our mamas just forgot to tell us?
3 Likes
Go @carrie5 go!!!
2 Likes
Sending love to you all. Especially those who are feeling down today.
Anniversaries are always hard. I have multiple now, finding the lump, date of diagnosis, surgery ( cancer free) start of chemo, end of chemo, end of Herceptin. Thatās a lot of days to feel a bit low but it seems part of the course of this journey. I find I just have to accept those days are going to hit me, I take the day to do things that make me feel good.
8 Likes
I think thereās something in the air this week, I nearly had a cry on my catch up with my manager because I felt completely overwhelmed and I needed to be talked down off a ledge. Most of the time I just get on with it but occasionally it hits you like a double decker bus. I think your idea is good about recognising that there will be low days and giving yourself a bit of grace/planning something to cheer yourself up is a good bit of mental health first aid.
9 Likes
Ha-ha! Thanks girls, youāve all given me a right good laugh with tales of hair woe. @norts My glasses got lost at Marsden when I went for my op last week and so I am having to wear my emergency pair. It was only on yesterdayās conference call that I realised you could see the large wadge of sellotape holding the right arm on. I also had the flags of Croatia and Switzerland behind me which I had still not taken down from Eurovision. I wonder if those customers will returnā¦?
@sez Why is it that hair grows back so unevenly? I have wings at the side of my head too. Iād love the top to grow faster but it stubbornly refuses to whereas the back just gets bushier and bushier. I too have likened myself to a clown. 
@carrie5 Itās almost like bc has given you the impetus to go and do the most kick-ass activities available to you! I love it.
@kartoffel As you know, Iāve just had my reconstruction and went with the implant. Nobody mentioned encapsulation but it does feel fairly hard still. I was expecting it to feel softer. Itās early days but Iāll let you know how it fares. At the moment my lifted real boob is bigger than the implant but that could just be swelling. Hoping it all settles down to looking ok soon. Iāll settle for ok. Iām not after a miracle.
Our @sooz1 - I know that they have to have the full picture to be able to make firm decisions about where to go with treatment but for you, itās torture. Great news that they are continuing with the Phesgo. Keep up the pressure on that. It does sound like you are firmly on their radar so I pray that the pathology results get a move on now. I know bc doesnāt grow as fast as all that, but itās just knowing you have a treatment plan in place and are getting on with it that soothes the mental angst. I hadnāt thought about plastic headbands. They may a bit stronger than the ones I am currently sporting and which put me in mind of a 1980s tennis player. (Think John McEnroe 1981 Wimbledon Menās Singles Final)
@jayveebee - Sorry itās one of those days. My counsellor told me to have a self-care pack/plan in place for those times. She said hers consisted of a blanket, music, chatting to friends and a good film to distract her. Ours is such a long haul and sometimes those days will take us by surprise. I think youāve done exactly the right thing by coming on here and sharing it with us. I hope today is lighter for you.
Love to all
Salbert
xx
6 Likes
Ah thanks all. Love this group. Bit weary still but refused to let a planned day off work be wasted. My dear friend clippered the bushy side wings for me so I look like i have styled hair, not a random mad bowl shaped tight perm (especially the short front bit) and we went for lunch treat (accidentally went to a plant shop AND got a Ā£4 summer dress in the charity shop too. NOT telling daughter thats why was late getting her from work!) Now hair better I need to splash the cash on new prescription sunglasses as old ones not only wrong prescription but wrong shape with mad hair. Its constant adjustments whether you like it or not!
3 Likes
I agree @naughty_boob with the anniversary thing. Diagnosed on my Dads birthday and started chemo on husbands! Unforgettable but at least i get a happy distraction.
3 Likes
I was diagnosed on Valentineās Day last year- did struggle to celebrate this year 
2 Likes
@jayveebee thatās what friends are for, helping sort chemo hair. Anniversary thing is weird, these dates just plant themselves somewhere in our brains ready to ambush when we least expect it. Silver linings of this crap diagnosis also arrive when we least have expect, love the charity shop frock! For me I think the whole shit thing has given me the kick ass to get on and do things. 12 years as a carer and Iād got into the habit of never doing anything and believing I couldnātā¦just watch this spaceā¦Take good care all. Hope @sooz1 you have clarity soon, @salbert the boobs are healing nicely and @arty1 you arenāt running ragged with everything on your plate. Love to all.
8 Likes
Just wanted to share this as made me think of you all and our virtual friendship. Was waiting for RT yesterday as the machine was misbehaving when one of the ladies who I have seen most days on this part of the journey, usually saying hello as we pass on the way in and out of the machine, came out. She has matching hair to me so straight away Iād thought probably here for similar reasons!! Anyway started chatting turns out she is 3 Kadcyla in, showed me her port and told me all about her experience so far. Was so nice to meet face to face with someone treading the same path. Was my last one today, she came out asking if I was in tomorrow, when finding I wasnāt gave me her number so we can be cancer friends! All through this shit show you stumble across people who seem to pop up just when you need them xx
19 Likes
Oh how all these last few messages speak to me! @jayveebee a massive well done for not letting your day off be hijacked. Thatās the spirit! I love a charity shop so much that I barely buy any new clothes anymore. My epiphany was losing all my money when my first marriage ended and discovering them through necessity. There is no going back! Well done also on a Ā£4 summer dress. Winner.
@carrie5 - Exactly that!! This diagnosis has given me the impetus to do all the things I have been saying I will do āone dayā. Now I feel the urgency to do them NOW while life and health make it possible. We are off campervanning again this weekend. Sure, thereās lots we could be doing around the house and garden but I want to lay in a sunny field in Kent with a bottle of wine and a good book. In 2 weeks time I have organised a big drama school reunion in Guildford because our last one was 13 years ago when we all swore we would do it bi-annually. These people are dear to me as I spent 3 of the best years of my life with them and I need to see them and stop just thinking about it. I have so much booked into my Filofax right through until New York at the end of October and I will keep doing it because this time last year I couldnāt. I totally get where you are coming from even if my activities arenāt quite as extreme and adventurous as yours! 
Boobs are getting there thanks. Not quite as sore today although last night as I left my motherās house she did remark that I was āwaddling like a duckā so movement not quite back to normal yet.
@woody2 How wonderful that your new bc buddy was put in your path like that. I also love how we find each other, lift each other and walk this walk together. Itās all good.
Love, light and laughter to you all and may the sun shine down on everyone this weekend.
Salbert
xx
8 Likes
Hi all, well Iāve got a date of 18th June for MRI biopsies this will be 2 weeks after my 2nd chemo. I think the surgeon wanted it earlier but they canāt fit me in. Has anyone had these biopsies done? How it was being described to me didnāt sound very pleasant, i would be grateful for anyoneās feedback on their experiences. Hope you all have a lovely weekend x
2 Likes
Hi, I have just been diagnosed with HER2 positive breast cancer with a 31mm lump and 4 lymph nodes affected! Iāve just signed the consent for the chemo and have been reading through all the potential side affects!
OMG Iām beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed!
12 Likes
Hi @kittykat88 sorry you find yourself here but welcome anyway, the ladies on here are amazing and weāre all at different stages. You wonāt get all those side effects you just been reading, just some. Take it one step at a time, it isnāt the best fun but it can be done and youāll gradually get into dealing with your particular challenges. Read some bits of this thread, I know its long but just enough to get the idea that weāre here and we support each other every step, we even find a sense of humour every so often. Take care and keep up posted with how you are.
5 Likes
Happy national potato day! Maybe the anti anxiety effect is the reason why so many of us crave potatoes during chemo? Magic.
10 Likes
I have had an MRI guided biopsy. I read the description and was vaguely horrified by the vacuum! It was fine though. Bit of going in and out of the scanner while they find the spot to biopsy, then numbed up with local anaesthetic. I kept the headphones and music on throughout. Couldnāt feel any pain just fiddling about. I did bleed a bit as they caught a blood vessel but again I was fairly unaware as could only hear the music and couldnāt feel a thing. They just applied pressure and ice. BTW mine came back negative for cancer - first time Iād had that from a biopsy!! If you think of any other questions happy to answer xx
4 Likes
Thank you so much for responding, Iāve got no information at allā¦what is the vacum? All Iāve been told is i have to keep still!!
1 Like
@kittykat88 welcome to our gang! Stay strong, you can do this! Everyone on the forum is here for each other, they are all great!
4 Likes