Evening all and a big hello and welcome to @kittykat88. I was sitting in my field and thinking to myself, I wonder who will find us next when their life has just been hit by a freight train, because I’m sure we’d all agree that that is what it feels like. I’m so sorry that it was you but at the same time, it’s good to know you found us. It is overwhelming and such a horrid shock but we’ve all been there and understand. As others have said, chemo is doable and you will be surprised at how much you can still do. They have to tell you about all the side effects but you won’t get them all and there is plenty they can do to mitigate a lot of it. Stick with us and if you feel yourself panicking or your mental health sliding in the wrong direction then get reading this thread. There is lots of encouraging and good news on here. Here is a big hug for you. I hope you can feel it.
@kartoffel - If it’s possible, potatoes have just got even better. There has to be a God, for there are potatoes and all their various and wonderful incarnations. Before I went campervanning on Friday, I cooked an insane amount of Jersey Royals and over the weekend, I sautéed them in olive oil, salt and pepper, not once, not twice, but thrice. Every evening meal in fact. No wonder I feel so happy!
@sassy3 - Sorry I don’t have any experience of an MRI biopsy but pleased that others have and can share theirs.
@sez Norks! 
I love your terminology. Nork cancer. Nork Cancer Now! I’m just sitting here laughing at the thought of my grave and dramatic first consultant telling me “I’m afraid we’ve found nork cancer”. Thank you for that. I just had a slightly pinkened nork so it’s very possible that yours is slightly burned. (You know I’m going to be adopting the word ‘nork’ now. I first heard it about 20 years ago from my Bristolian cousin. Is it a West Country thing?) I was sent some Flamigel RT from one of the other women who was on my February Chemo Starters group and it worked wonders. However, my radiotherapy oncologist told me that the reason she recommends Aveeno instead is because Flamigel RT is expensive. However, she did say it was excellent stuff and would recommend it going forward. So it’s no stretch of the imagination to chalk it up to expense that stops your hospital from prescribing it. It’s definitely not just to treat irritated skin, it’s for the duration of radiotherapy and you start it from Day 1. Clearly your trust are cost cutting because giving yourself 7 days of filgrastim injections instead of the one pegfilgrastim sounds horrendous. I had to get my husband to give me that one pegfilgrastim because I couldn’t do it myself. I bet lots of people would struggle to inject themselves. Ha! I’ve just read further and read the word ‘noggin’!! 
Norks and noggins. Noggins and norks! I love your turn of phrase.
I couldn’t agree more as regards the mental state. Physical and mental health are completely interconnected and I was in such a mess psychologically when I was at my first hospital that finding this forum was an absolute lifeline. It was the women on here that carried me through the darkest days until I switched hospitals and got a consultant and team who took better care of the mental side of it all. But then I was able to switch because I had BUPA through work so was able to go private. I don’t like to think what would have happened if I’d stayed at my first hospital. I had absolutely no faith in my first consultant after all his failed operations and he was so dramatic and doom-laden that it really messed with your noggin. When I told him I was terrified he replied “You should be, it’s cancer. I would be too.” Just so unhelpful and misguided.
@carrie5 I’m not surprised to hear what you did before retiring. It explains a lot. I agree with you and @kartoffel that to see the whole person rather than just treat the ailment would be far more beneficial in the long run. I was speaking to a mental health nurse not so long ago who was saying that it was so short-sighted to underinvest in children and teenagers mental health as she then had to deal with the unresolved stuff that doesn’t go away and affects the adults that end up in her unit when they hit a crisis. Carrie, I think your points are excellent and it makes me think I should do what I’ve been mulling over doing for over a year now and raise my concerns about the hospital where I started out before switching to Marsden.
@naughty_boob To hear that you sat and cried several times then got told you were dealing with it all ok is sad to hear and a perfect example of what we are discussing right there. The counselling I was able to get on BUPA also carried me through the dark days. I hate that some women go through this without the mental support. It’s why I feel so strongly about this forum. We can truly help.
Ha! @mrsjelly I’m pleased to see your friends are as sympathetic to your ring of fire as my family were with regard to my hair loss! I’d like to share with you that I found myself offering up a prayer of gratitude for my digestive biology’s return to normality when I discovered how far away the toilets were from our camping pitch this weekend. With each step I gave thanks that I had not sh*t myself which I undoubtedly would have done just 2 months ago. Have faith…there is light at the end of that fiery tunnel!
@jeml Lovely to see you out and enjoying the sunshine in a beautiful part of the world. I have the zoledronic acid bone infusions every six months. It doesn’t take long. I felt rough after the first one but was told that subsequent ones were never as bad and I was right as rain after my second so can only conclude that my onco was right on that score.
As for my new boobs, I’m pleased to report that the swelling is subsiding and they are taking shape which is a relief as the lifted real one was looking a bit like an aardvark. A bruised aardvark. My liposuctioned thighs are also going down a bit but sadly not to the slim and toned ones I’d been hoping for. Still, can’t have it all!
Love to all,
Salbert
xx
. Singing along to Mr Cash’s 
of 
did nothing to distract me from the burning.
got to live my life again now as my nurse said other week… which i bloody plan to do! Don’t get me wrong some days are hard.
it does seem very daunting but its also very doable, its just getting over your first chemo.
jemma
