I know they mean well, but it really got to me as well. It’s like I don’t bloody well have a choice in the matter, do I? It’s either be strong & suck it up or don’t get treated and die. I’d rather be soft and marshmallow like, not strong.
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Afternoon all
@under_the_sea - If you feel the urge, then please post a pic of your bench slap. We do love to see those milestones celebrated. 
@shannon27 What a positive to come out of a negative. Well done you. I expect you will have some valuable info to share re wigs and mesh integration soon. Also you will be able to empathise with people who come to you requiring your services.
@luka - Totally! I stayed over at a friend’s place along with a group of other friends recently and he said ‘Sally gets the double bed as she’s had cancer, innit!’ And this is the type of Mickey-taking that I much prefer (as I took full advantage and consigned my older friend to the camp bed down on the floor in the gap between my bed and the bookcase).
Hello and welcome @celestine! Congrats on finishing chemo. The cushion you have heard about is a V-shaped or heart-shaped one and it does help if you are having lymph node removal. Also, if you are to have a drain then a simple cotton bag that you can sling across you may be required. At my original hospital, I came round from the op and they asked me where my V-shaped cushion and drain bag were. Nobody had mentioned it to me so I had no idea what they were talking about. I whipped out an orange Sainsbury’s carrier bag and said ‘Will this do?’ Fortunately they had some ready packaged and gifted by women who had gone through the same experience themselves and it came with a little card wishing me a speedy recovery which was immensely touching. What a good idea. I attach a pic of the type of thing so you will know what I’m on about.
@carrie5 @kartoffel …and how many people have told you “You’re so brave…” Like we have the choice! 
Oh @mrsjelly - With any luck they came to get you and you are currently in surgery and reading this afterwards. Bad bloody luck getting Covid just as you are getting over chemo. What a rotten birthday. I kind of wrote 2024 off and am making up for it this year. I guess you must feel the same about 2025. Your ancestor reminds me of mine; her name is Annie Clapgut!
Laters lovelies!
Salbert
x
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@salbert oh gosh, that old one… it’s a wonder I make it through the day without slapping anyone sometimes 
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@mrsjelly really hope surgery has gone ok and that your recovery from that and covid is speedy. Recommend having an official birthday on another date, if its good enough for the king then no reason why you can’t .
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@mrsjelly so sorry to hear you had covid, I agree you should have another birthday! I hope your surgery is going well and wishing you a quick recovery x
@salbert yes I’ll try and take one! I have been given a post op cusion from a charity for after my surgery which is lovely, its a small soft knitted rectangle one and I think the bcn said I would be given a bag for the drain also, but you wouldn’t know if you hadn’t been told!
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Hello celestine, Welcome. The heart shaped cushion you can put under your arm. It fits perfectly and I know I was given one by the nurses whilst in hospital, albeit a while ago now. It really helps both in bed and when walking around. Many charities sell them. Once out of hospital I bought a slightly bigger one from The Cancer Research online shop and used it by placing it slightly under my seat belt when I was a car passenger to help cushion my mastectomy scars.
I wish you well with your surgery. You will get through it all. I am 5 years down the line now and there is light at the end of the sometimes long, dark tunnel. Take care. Thinking of you.
Sunshine21
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@mrsjelly sending positive thoughts and see you on the other side of surgery. Sorry to hear of you having Covid, the NHS seems reluctant to hand out anti virals even though they have helped so many. I read that someone on chemo rand 111 to access them ( for future in case anyone is in need)
@celestine Welcome to the thread and well done for finishing chemo. Paclitaxel can be brutal, even though some say it’s a ‘better’ one. Not sure chemo is better at all. I had reduced dose from the beginning, a couple of infections, one leading to 6 nights in hospital and two more reductions.
Many on Etsy aswell. I had a double lumpectomy and didn’t use one. My scars are on the side of my boobs, I think like everything with this journey we are all individual and what works for one person may not for another. I think went I looked into the cushions they were being pushed for mastectomy not lumpectomy.
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Thanks for the brilliant belly laugh about your ancestors @mrsjelly. Therapy! Hope you are now recovering from surgery ok.
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If anyone is suffering from lymphodema i can report that sea swimming is really helping reduce boob swelling and lumpiness. I had lumpectomy and 5 nodes out and after first swim of the year the naughty boob felt almost normal for first time since December! Not sure if its the cold, water pressure or arm movements or combination. Sadly not lasting but the sea isn’t going anywhere so I’ll be going for more ‘treatment’ as much as poss.
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@mrsjelly I feel your pain. I tested positive today and for the first time since I started treatment last September have had my treatment pushed back.
They recommended antivirals even though I am only on Herceptin now. I do feel pretty yuk and my oncologist said it was a good idea so going with their advice, but anticipating the upset stomach 
They have said provided I test negative by Monday I can have my injection then 
Well done you for getting through your treatment xx
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A very early morning to you all.
I’ve been singing ‘I can’t get no sleep’ by Faithless to myself in my head.
I went down to theatre at 13:25. Was like a rabbit warren or trip to the witches house in Hansel and Gretel. Told the theatre porter I’d need a crumb trail to get out. Likely to work as no birds or rodents in theatre. All
Staff kind and lovely. Had some midazolam and woke up 5 hours later. Marvellous.
At 7pm recovery nurse asked me if I was going home that evening. Said that given the time and fact that my wounds felt like they were burning (not dissimilar to my chemo lava bum pain), perhaps not going home would be a good idea. Plus I might get asked what’s for tea!! Had some fentanyl. Took the edge off the discomfort.
Returned to the ward. I had a peek at the new replacement pair. Did look the same and my nipples were a nice pink. Offered some paracetamol when asked if I was pain. Explained that I felt like I was wearing a 28” bra rather than my usual 36”. It was like having a tight band around my ribs. Given 20mg of oramorph and paracetamol. Checked nipples again. Fear they’ve morphed into Mama Smurfs nipples. The blue dye from the lymph node must have seeped into them. I have electric blue nips. Now singing ‘electric nipples blue’ to the tune of Eddy Grant’s well known song ‘ElectricAvenue’ 
. Think the drugs are making me so deluded I am laughing at myself as I am finding myself very humourous this week. Perhaps it was’ THE Covid’s’ as my mother in law calls it or the anti viral drugs. Do wonder if NHS staff, aside from me and a few others are losing their sense of humour which is sad. Could be the work load, they are care worn or workload pressures giving them no time to listen to irrelevance, or may just think that I’m a twerp and do not appreciate or like my wittering.
Reminds me, my Dad once turned up on the daycare ward for his 6 monthly cystoscopy. The ward clerk never looked at him. Just said ‘name’ when he said why he was attending. So he said I’m George Clooney.’ Still failed to raise her head. She obviously wasn’t a fan of Mr C as she still didn’t not look at him. Just said ‘ You are not on my list Mr Clooney’
Finally peed at 10pm. It was a joy to go, plus it was a lovely dark fir tree green. Green is my favourite colour. Afraid I’ve no song for green urine! Only Shakin Steven’s and his Green door… saw him getting out of a helicopter in 1981 at the Radio 1 Road Show in Manchester. Not a fan.
My hair is growing back. Spiky and very short, we are talking a few millimetres. It is white with some random longer ones I obviously didn’t shave to the same length last month, unless it’s of course a growth spurt . However the hair that was last to fall out at the nape of my neck, the skinhead girl mullet look is growing back nearly black. I’m either filing to resemble a badger or a skunk. Wonder it I will have a straight line of black hair. I’ve been braving the bald more in public. I’m still enjoying the long stares and fleeting uncomfortable glances. Since reaching 40, I’m no longer the recipient of the male gaze. Not bothered but on occasion if it was a handsome fella it could be flattering.
Now, I’m feeling a little proud of myself for enduring the diagnosis of ‘it’, the investigations, sheer volume of appointments, the chemo etc etc. I will now add surgery to that list. The fighting talk is not for me, hence no warrior or battles, though I respect those for whom that is their choice, their experience and find that it spurs them on. Being an introvert, I’m getting on with it to get through it. Quietly most of the time bar my postings on here where I write too much and the updates I share to close family and friends.
On the previous subject of hair, for those with the Marge Simpson look, I’ve found a style perfect for you. It’s giving me an Ian Dury and the Blockheads feels, plus I think we have all been, not only some of us,’ Their ain’t half been some clever b******ds’ and we are more wonderful things besides!
Nighty night! Now that’s a programme to watch, Camping and Getting On , but for me l, by a long sit the hilarious Hunderby which is by far the funniest .
Wondering id, with our collective stories we could write a comedy sketch 
. Could call it ‘The Bench Slappers.’ No one would have a clue what it’s about. @salbert can direct. 
given her expertise and she is the instigator of this group, though ‘Her too and need some buddies’ has a chemo ending ring about it! As I’ve obviously lost the plot en route to theatre I think I’ll take a back seat. I’ll
be in the audience then, at the encore, I will find a slapping bench, slap my seat, or just slap my arse!! We could perform at the Edinburgh fringe as a tribute to our hair.
Hope you’ve all slept well. Think I’m slept out after the Covid week snoozing or sleeping and yesterdays anaesthetic ‘sleep’. Doesn’t bode well for the daytime unless I’m merely pumped with adrenaline because the breasts that would shorten my life have gone. What a great feeling! Breast feeling this morning. Think they are so swollen they’re up to my collar bones. Feel very tight.
Xxx
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Oh @mrsjelly what a fabulous read. You do make me chuckle. Thank you for brightening my day.
Hope you start to feel better from surgery very soon.
I couldn’t think of many songs which fitted green pee. The Green Green Grass of Home could almost fit.
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@mrsjelly blue boob walz? Hope things take shape really soon and you can get comfortable
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Good morning all, hope you had bit of sleep.
@mrsjelly sorry you had to experience covid at this time and happy your surgery went well even you experience the green wee 
,was nice reading your thread.
@celestine congrats on finishing chemo.
@galdiolus hope you will get your injection on time.
I met my surgeon yesterday said the tumour melt even after stopping the chemo at 4 rounds instead of 6,happy she gunna save my nipple so will go for implant reconstruction with skin saving.
I don’t have exact date as looks like theatres fully booked in my hospital so my surgery is three weeks from now.
Will keep having phesgo injections through it.
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@hasnae87 At last some better news for you that the chemo had an effect. All the best with the surgery plan.
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Just popped on to say I read this at 3am and it made me lolll wasn’t just me living my best life post-op on the fentanyl 
Hope you’re feeling ok this morning and managed to get some sleep!!
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The name Nort makes be snort!! Where is it from?
Sure was a Kermit the frog song about him being green. I will have a look through my ancient record collection when I get home. 
x
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Thank you.
Covid could have been worse. I’m certain that the anti-viral medication sped up my recovery. We have a brilliant l service in Sussex which we can self-refer too. I completed the form at 06:40 and the administrator rang me as soon as it opened at 9. Doctors phone call delayed as they wanted to know outcome of hospital visit.
I had a skin sparing, nipple sparing mastectomies. Happy with my decision.
When I woke up and looked at them, at that time they looked just as they were when they contained breast tissue. Today, aside from the blue dye on my skin (thankfully nipples returned to pink), I’m bruised. Bruising will get worse. Told I’ll look like I’ve been battered. Will take 6 months to settle and look as they are intended to be. X
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Morning all
Oh no, not another one felled by Covid! Sorry to hear that @galdiolus. Apart from the obvious, you are super-healthy so I expect you’ll kick it into touch pretty darn quickly. You’ll probably run it out of town!
Oh @mrsjelly - I cannot believe you can write so prolifically and humorously fresh out of surgery! What did they give you? I’ve just sat here laughing my head off at your ramblings. Welcome to the other side, post dodgy boobs. The blue nipples must have been something of a shock but great that you still have a pair. I have just the one now so am slightly envious of a matching set, whatever the colour!
My husband and I also suffer from the tenuous song link condition that you have. In fact, I think it was a large contributory factor in our elder song leaving home. Anything can set either of us off. At the moment my brain is toying with ‘Green, green wee…Blue, blue nips’ in the style of the George Ezra number but ‘You’d better throw a party on the day that I die’ doesn’t scan.
Congratulations on the new hair growth. Sounds like you are having the same sort of luck that the rest of us are having in respect to that. Still, at least my hair isn’t yet resembling that wonderfully ludicrous yellow blockhead style you’ve posted - (WHY, OH WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF?!! ). So there’s something to be grateful for.
LOVED Camping and Nighty Night. That has reminded me that I never watched Hunderby so that’s going on the list. Did you like Human Remains? That was brilliant too.
I do wonder if there is mileage in The Bench Slappers. Or Bench Slap - The Book! There has been so much on this thread that is both humorous and very informative. Also a whopping great dose of camaraderie and support. I wonder if there is a way of gleaning the best stuff and turning it into a book for future women who find themselves in the HER2+ club? For good measure, we could include before and after pics showing our lovely, normal, shiny manes of pre-chemo hair and our post-chemo vertical frizz mullets.
@hasnae87 Great news, your tumour has shrunk! I have the implant reconstruction and I’m happy with mine. I haven’t experienced any problems. Hopefully yours will be straightforward too. You are whooping its ass now.
My mother has decided after her fall on Saturday that it’s time she got a gardener. She is almost 90 so I’m in agreement. She has announced that she is having to accept that she is ‘getting old’!!! 
I have sorted out a visit from one this afternoon to look over what needs doing. She happens to also be the vicar’s wife. This has put Mum into a tizzy as apparently “the blackberry bush is out of control”. What’s the betting she is out there now hacking away at it with her secateurs.
Salbert
x
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