Hey everyone! Not been on here in over a week, been back at home with little one in a routine.
Anyway was meant to have my 5th round tomorrow but this has been cancelled due to my blood results… low platlets etc. Ahh how frustrating! Done so well so far and geared my self up for tomorrow. But i am not surprised… felt a bit crap ever since this round and not bounced back like i normally do! Headachey and body achey… exhausted and i am covered in bruises! Bruising so easily. I know its one of those things and cant be helped. This ever happened to anyone else? Was worried about the delay but they did assure me that chemo still in my system and doing its job still 
Thanks Jemma 
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I hope you were spoiled@jeml oh that sounds a bit rotten , the bruising will be because if your platelet level , once they come back up that should rectify x
I haven’t started chemo yet but it seems a delay is allowed and not an issue so don’t worry about that.
In extreme cases when I worked on the oncology day unit while pregnant , we’d get patients in for a blood transfusion , but hopefully the delay will slow things to come back up on their own
@bigpickle I hope you are feeling better soon x
I only have the 2 rounds left too… im glad its happened at end rather than the start! I know its common though, end of day our bodies are going through a lot. My platlet is 89 and heamaglobin 94 because i asked if i needed anything and they said no. So just rest for a week then and it probably increase. Geared my self up for tomorrow too 
feel a bit frustrated but it is what it is. Not surprised felt out of sorts ever since that last round. When do you start chemo? X
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Fingers crossed it will pick up soon … you are almost there x
I meet with the oncologist next Monday , I feel sick with worry
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You will be fine! I think its just something we never expect to happen to us… its something we never thought we would have. I was the same and when my mum dropped me off the first time i cried and hugged her and felt scared because i was like ’ omg this is actually real… i need chemo ’ but once i sat in chair and everyone was so so nice… they started it.off and i was fine! Took my tablet and started watching films etc. Once you get your first out of way and once you sit there for a bit… it will all pass! Then once its over and your about to leave… i was like yess! I did it! Feel amazing. I got this 
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@jeml I’m terrified of allergic reactions , I’ve read about them in the forum and it scares me witless … I’ve got a heap of health issues so it really scares me .
I’ve got conjoined kidneys and related vascular issues linked to it plus heart issues and long covid . I’ve suffered reactions to lots of things since long covid so I’m worried now my body will go beserk .
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Aww i can totally understand why you feel that way! I have 0 health issues before this so i get why you think that way.
I was scared too of reactions etc but just know your not alone and there is a lot of nurses etc around you and checking on you. When i went for my first this guy had a bit of a reaction and was sick but he was okay. They sorted him out and he was fine… i was like omg though. They asked if i was okay because he was smack next to me and i was like yea… the nurse said to me… so to let you know it does not happen a lot… so dont worry.x
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Bear with me on this one @arty1 as it won’t sound good to start with but it gets better. I was sitting next to a lady who had an allergic reaction for her first Paclitaxel. I had also been terrified of a reaction. I saw the whole thing. The nurses were aware of a reaction pretty much before the lady felt anything. They gave her the right meds and within an hour not only was she fine but she was receiving her treatment as planned. An allergic reaction always sounded so scary to me but seeing how quickly and calmly the nurses dealt with it, how undramatic it was and how it was easily resolved made me so much more relaxed.
Also the nurses will be keeping a very close eye on you. There’s no getting away with anything!
This is not saying you will have a reaction. In fact no-one else I saw ever reacted so that’s a lot of people who don’t react. It was just one of those moments where I realised that the words sounded far worse that what happened in reality.
I completely understand though and will be sending lots of positive thoughts.
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@jeml and @norts it does sound terrifying , I’m frightened of not being able to breathe , I’ve heard of serious ones … I’m going to ask them to assume I might react and give me loads of pre meds … god it’s just the unknown that terrifies me
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The unknown is definitely terrifying. It’s unknown to you now but I’m hoping all goes well and you start to feel more settled with it. Also the nurses will watch and listen to you and none of it is unknown to them.
I cried at the start because I was so nervous and the nurses sat with me until I was away with the fairies on the meds (me on Piriton is a sight to behold).
I realise none of these words really help until you’ve experienced it. But I’ll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
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@norts oh bless you , thank goodness the nurses sat with you, honestly it’s all such a shit storm isn’t it … do you get piriton before the infusions ?
I took a steroid tablet before EC, not sure what other pre meds were given with that but there were some given via my PICC line before the chemo.
With Paclitaxel I remember more clearly. Bloods taken through PICC line then saline for a bit then steroids and antihistamine through PICC line, saline for 20 mins, Paclitaxel, bit of a saline flush then home. Sounds like a lot but actually took about 2 hours from sitting in the chair to leaving the ward. And I was having a lovely time on the antihistamine!
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@norts sounds like you had a nice “trip” on the antihistamines 
I think I had similiar with the fentanyl after my surgery … went straight off to my happy place
The pre meds obviously don’t work for some people I guess … if they still react .
I swear my body will go … what the heck is this … and go into meltdown
On another note - I went to a face and body art convention this weekend which I’d been booked to paint and teach at and I wasn’t missing it for the world .
Found out on the Friday that I had an infected seroma so felt quite ropey all weekend , but someone managed to body paint all day one day , party in the evening and teach on the Sunday 
I’m paying the price now !
I helped my husband make the props for this too which is probably why I ended up with a seroma !
I did the photo editing too
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I think everyone feels the same when going for the first one… and its still unbelievable in a way that you have to have… when i really think about it now im like ’ what the actual f ?! ’ honestly its all crazy! I was scarsd of reactions too i think everyone will think this. I sat there and i can remember thinking ’ nope, i wont have any reactions… im going to be fine ’ popped my ear phones in and watched something on my tablet! Mind over matter! The mind is a powerful thing. Take things with you that you enjoy. You got this time to get the shitty titty better.x
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Hi @arty1 i get how you feel. I just had my second one yesterday. I just have an under active thyroid so in general good health but like you had read about reactions. When I arrived for my first one I was so anxious my heart rate was 147 . Took me a while to calm down the nurse told me that reactions are within a few minutes and they are all there are trained. Anyway nothing adverse for me and when I sat down yesterday for cycle 2 I was like a zen pro!!
So I agree the first one is scary as it’s unknown but be reassured these nurses do this everyday and have a plan.
Good luck you will smash it
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@galdiolus oh my word that’s a high heart rate !
I think mine will be similiar as ever since I’ve had long covid I’ve an autonomic response to stress described by my cardiologist as being extreme and linked to Covid where my I have a full blown tachycardia attack
I’m so glad your first one went over after all that !
I hope it’s the same for me
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Hi @arty1
I am a very allergic person so my Paclitaxel was reduced from the beginning and then twice more due to infections/hospitalisation.
I had an allergic reaction week 3, I’d already had Piriton as a premed and they told me our bodies are very clever and want to get rid of the chemo hence allergic reaction. I was sick, flushed and hot. I had another dose of piriton and eventually more odanestron (which was already given as premed). My infusion was stopped as there were no doctors at the outreach site, had I been at the main cancer centre they would have restarted. I’m in Wales, so may be different for you. The following few weeks I was at the main cancer centre and all was ok. I was also given medication to take the day before , the day of and day after Infusion (cetirizine (antihistamine), dexamethasone (steroid) and famitidine (indigestion). After that reaction all infusion went well.
The temperature was due to UTI and possible other infections, probably from within or food I’d eaten as I limited my contact with people, wore a mask and ventilated with HEPA for visitors.
Do you have any idea what your chemo routine is going to be? Can you talk to your team about your worries? I found being open and honest the best policy.
While having chemo 12 weekly I witnessed 2 allergic reactions, one lady said she couldn’t breathe but could talk. I spoke to the nurse as it, as being asthmatic if I can’t breathe I can’t talk. She told me that you feel that you can’t breathe but you can and the drugs administered worked so quickly. The other was a bit further away but I know they were on top of it so quickly. The staff do watch you so closely and check on you regularly.
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@naughty_boob As yet I don’t have a start date as my oncology appointment is on Monday , I’m going to be 100 honest , spill out all my fears and get them to look at my existing health issues and see what they come up with - I’m still terrified , I hate the feeling of not being able to breathe even if I can !