hi - don't know what to do

i’m 37 mum to 10yr daughter + 22mths son - diagnosed in nov 08 - had lumpectomy, nymphe node, chemo, radiotherapy - all finished in june. i feel tired, ratty + unsure of everything. i’m waiting for counselling from my doc. i’m not driving at mo due to epilepsy + i feel v.alone cos can’t get anywhere. not back at work yet althou they keep asking me “when?” i just dont feel able to - i work in supermarket, i have meeting on monday 2nd nov and am really scared about getting through the work entrance. sounds stupid to me cos i should be able to but i really panic. its also affected my marriage he was brill through diagnoses + treatment but now i don’t no! i live in the dover area + would like to know what help is around. most i’ve been given is further away. please help.

Hi,
Just want to send a big hug
((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))
Don’t ever feel alone when you can come here anytime and shout,moan,cry laugh or whatever it takes to make you feel a wee bit better.You have been through a hell of a lot and it takes time.You have done so very well getting this far.
Is there someone who can go with you “through the doors” on Monday?
Is there a Maggies" centre near you? They are great to just get your worries out to someone unrelated.
I was originlly diagnosed in July 2008 and eventually went on antidepressants in June 2009 and that was the best thing.They made such a difference.Don’t be afraid to try them,I delayed too long.
Love n Hugs
Dot
xxx

It’s only been a year, so don’t let work put you under too much pressure. Don’t run before you can walk - I tried this and it imploded on me. I had counselling and it really helped my general state of mind and well being, but I know it isn’t for everyone.

Hi cjxs5

I remember being tired with a 22month old, so what with the end of the cancer treatment I’m sure you are tired and ratty. I did find that even 6 months after treatment had finished I still wasn’t quite my old self, but able to continue working part-time. Things will get better.

Your employers just want to know what is happening. It’s difficult for an employer with someone on a long-term sick leave because they can’t advertise your job, because it’s still your job, but they need to cover the work somehow.

Your Breast Care Nurses may have info. on what support is available locally, or you could arrange to go an see them. Or the BCC helpline can put you in touch with a peer support lady which is very helpful.

take care Wizz

Hi cjxs5

I am sorry to read that you are having such a tough time, there are a few of Breast Cancer Care’s support services that might be of interest to you as they can offer help and support via the telephone and internet in addition to the support you have here.

The first is Breast Cancer Care’s telephone support group. It’s a chance to get together once a week to talk with people who’ve been there. Linked together by phone in comfortable surroundings, you can express your feelings and discuss the practical and emotional impact of living with breast cancer.

There is also Breast Cancer Care’s peer support service. The telephone service aims to quickly put you in touch with one of our trained peer supporters, who has had a personal experience of breast cancer.

As well as these telephone services you may also find joining the live chat helpful. This is an on-line service running every thursday from 9pm to 10pm where you are able to talk to others in a similar situation to yourself, on line in ‘real time’.

For more information about these and our other support services available to you, please telephone our helpline on 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm) or email: <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%22%3e%69%6e%66%6f%40%62%72%65%61%73%74%63%61%6e%63%65%72%63%61%72%65%2e%6f%72%67%2e%75%6b%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>

I hope this is helpful.

Kind regards Sam (BCC Facilitator)

thanks for all your replies.

meeting was ok, work friend came with me + got me through the doors. she is v.good to me.
they want me to start back in january, i’m only part-time but they have said about reduced hours to start off with. sounds good.
counselling not started yet, so i’m a little worried about coping with work + family. it sounds stupid to me cos i should be able to i always did!!

don’t know about “maggies centre” how do i get hold of them?

have my 1st check-up this afternoon! can’t believe its been a year. bit nervous but know i’m probably worrying about nothing.

thanks again for listening x.

Hi there
I am only at the start of my journey, but my mum has been through it a few years ago and she felt it the most/worst after all the treatment had ended and everyone expected her to be back to ‘normal’. She didn’t feel normal, she didn’t feel it was ‘over’, and found that so hard to deal with.

Please go easy on yourself - I can imagine that you are still in a state of shock after having had so much happening for the last year and it now stopping/slowing down, so you need to take stock of where you are and how you need to move forward.

I am sure some counselling will help you get your head around it, but don’t rush yourself and don’t feel guilty for pushing other people back if they are pressuring you. That said, you do need to start looking forward - but baby steps.
Take care
Flora xxx

Hi, i am in the middle of it all, but i keep being told that sometimes the end is hard to deal with because you dont have the routine anymore and that you start expecting more from yourself. I have just been told that they got all the cancer, but i am still recovering from double mastectomy and still have rads and herceptin and hormone treatment but i still want to be up doing what i used to do which is a bit ‘insane’ - be easy on yourself, you will get there. Karen x

Hi there
Please be kind to yourself, your body and mind has taken a battering, so you are bound to be up and down at the moment.
Little ones are hard work, i have a 5yr old and a 19mth old and have all my treatement to come after my mastectomy and lymph node removal the other week.
Take a day at a time and ease yourself in gradually i would.
Also take offers of help with the children if you can, to give you a bit of a break…

All the best.
Nasreen x

cjxs5,just read your post and Flora,s mum is right.It does seem that everyone, including myself,expects me to be back to normal.But then again we have to find a new normal.It is hard but don,t allow anyone to add more pressure.You have been thru a life changing experience so try being kind to you.After all,if it was a friend of yours i,m sure you would be there for her/him.Going back to work part-time will help you move on and stop thinking only of cancer,tiredness,hot sweats,painful joints and all the other wonderful[NOT]things we have.Enjoy your children and don,t worry if the house is messy,clothes need washing etc,you can catch up when energy levels improve.Remember good days and bad days never last.

take care of yourself
Love Annxx