Hi everyone
I’m 40 and was diagnosed 6 weeks ago with a grade one tumour. Had a lumpectomy 4 weeks ago in Harrogate Hospital but when I got the results one of the lymph nodes was cancerous so had to go back in on 23rd Dec for them all out. Sat at home now with my drain bag feeling very sorry for myself. Doctors have told me that probably will have to start chemo in the new year. I can cope with the feeling poorly part but am dreading losing my hair.
Hi Nigella and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support your fellow users will be along with shortly, although it is a little quieter than usual due to Xmas, BCC offer services specifically aimed at younger women which you may find of interest and you can read more about those here:
breastcancercare.org.uk/about-us/our-services/support-for-younger-women/younger-womens-forums/
You may also find the resource pack published for anyone newly diagnosed useful and you can order a copy via this link:
Our helpliners will be here to offer you further support and information after the B/H and here are the hours for next week and the New year:
breastcancercare.org.uk/about-us/our-services/someone-to-talk-to/helpline/
Take care
Lucy
Hi Nigella
Sorry to hear your news. We are all on a similar journey and this forum gives us all a lot of support through all of our ups and downs.
I had a lumpectomy in Sept with a Grade 3 tumour which had not got to the lymph nodes but was invasive. I have had 3 FEC chemo treatments and have 3 to go.
I have lost my hair and wear a wig when I am out. I chose to have it clipped off rather than watch it drop out. This is usually the hardest part of the treatment for all of us and everyone takes it differently.
It is a shock to be told we have this awful illness but we have to do what we can to stop it spreading and you will gain the strength to do this with us - if chemo is needed.
Take care and get better soon
Janette xxxx
Nigella12 you are where i was at easter this year I had lumpectomy March 31st and started chemo in May and have just finished 20 rads 1st Nov and like you the hair thing was my biggest thing to deal with but i have coped and got a great wig from hot hair in metro centre ( they do have other branches) ill post a link to tips and things from another thread that certainly helped me and others through this . You just take care and concentrate on one part of your treatment at a time baby steps and you will get through xx julie
breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/starting-my-pink-road-of-cemo,-15th-nov-t28539s12.html
Hi Nigella, So sorry you are feeling miserable. It is crappy isn’t it? I’m 41’ and was diagnosed on the 12 th Oct. I was told a full mast, with chemo first, from the outset. I guess though for you, you must have the feeling of ‘how much worse can this get??’ I must say, I’m having a bit of a low few days myself - don’t think the time of year helps does it? I can say though, I’ve had the first three chemo- FEC so far, and they have been ‘do-able.’ Not great, would rather not have had too, but they are fine! They keep telling me that I have youth on my side! Doesn’t feel like it some days!! My hair came out on about day 14 of the first cycle- and I just shaved the rest off, rather than wItting for the rest go. V. messy! I did not bother with a cold cap, but you might want to? Do you know what they are? Ask your BC nurse. You will no doubt be offered one anyway, but it is worth reading up about and making some sort of informed decision beforehand. Hope that helps. Chemo seems to vary a great deal according to the regime you are on. I switch to Tax for my next three doses, so another leap into the unknown!
Tracey
Hi Nigella
Still don’t know whether I’m going to need chemo as surgery not booked until 10th Jan, but in the meantime I’ve done a bit of digging and found a lovely website that if it comes to it will allow me to stick a middle finger up at cancer for stealing my hair. littleprincesses.org.uk take donations of hair which is made into wigs for children with alopecia through chemo or other medical treatments, so I have already made my mind up that if I end up needing chemo, that particular charity can have my hair so at least it isn’t all wasted and chucked in the bin where children could benefit from it instead.
Best of luck for your and the road you have to travel, you’ll find there are lots of other people on there with you so you’re not alone.
Hi Nigella,
Sorry to hear you are feeling down.
I’m 34 and I had my first session of chemo on 9th December, after lumpectomy and reconstruction for a grade 3 tumour. I seem to have got away without getting too many side effects, although started loosing my hair last week (day 14 after chemo)I did try the cold cap, but couldn’t cope with it. Managed to get through Christmas without it being noticeable, but shaved it off yesterday and started wearing my wig (see photo. Also got a few hats, the advantage of this time of year is that wearing hats blends in well.
There are lots of people on here who have been through it and can offer advice, so whenever you need to talk there are people here.
J
Hi, I was diagnosed with BC in October, had bilateral mastectomy on 15th nov with immediate recon, 9 hrs of tram flap surgery…survived it all, not as bad as I was expecting actually. 6 weeks later and I’m well on the road to feeling almost normal even getting used to my new boob which has stopped feeling like a brick on my chest now! 4 nodes removed, all clear thankfully so no rads needed. Made the decision t have chemo last week having been told it would improve my chances of no recurrence by 7%. To be honest if I was alone with no hubby or 2 little boys to consider I think might have taken my chances but i am starting 6 cycles of FEC on 12th Jan. I am actually dreading it more than the life changing major surgery i have just been through. The hair loss I think I can cope with, but nausea vomiting and mouth ulcers!!! Bleurgh… I am very into complementary therapies and would value any advice from anyone who has any tips, homeopathy etc… I had reiki before my surgery and loved it so shall go for some more. I love the idea of donating hair to make childrens wigs, I am going to shave mine off the minute it starts to fall out and will def take a look at the website, such a good idea. Try and make something good out of this horrible disease. I too am ‘young’, ha ha, shall be celebrating my 40th next may hopefully after all the yukky stuff is over with, can’t decide on a big party or a holiday away with all my boys… Then it’s onto the tamoxifen and , isn’t it amazing how quickly you become so well acquainted with previously unheard of words like tram flap, lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy!!!
Anyway, best of luck to all of you, stay in touch if you like during the chemo, Im sure I’ll be on this site a fair bit for the next few weeks!! Stay strong and positive!!! Xxx
posted on behalf of new user Maria
Hi, I was diagnosed with breast cancer again in June 2010 after being clear from it for 19 yrs. Could not believe it was back after so long.I had a mastectomy in Sept the tumor was 3 inches in size, and am now going through the dreaded chemo. Have had two sessions so far the 3rd was deferred for a week, due to blood count being to low, if bloods are OK tomorrow, I will be having my 3rd session. As this has happened before, I will now have to have injections after the chemo to bring the white cells up more quickly.
I lost my hair within the first week of chemo, I was all prepared with the wig via the hosp only to find that it did not fit, that really was the last straw. But fighting our way through the snow we found a super wig shop, and now have a fab wig.
I’m hoping for a reconsturction but, the surgeon has advised me that he will not do this until after the chemo has finised he is sure all the cancer has gone.
Hi Nigella12
Sorry that you have become part of this community. But on the flip side this forum community is just priceless. If you ever need to chat or need an answer to something you’ll find it on here. Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Losing my hair was one of the most scary parts for me. I had been growing it for a few years and it was long and lovely and was how I wanted it for my wedding. I totally freaked out at the thought of being a baldy and lost sleep over it. I tried the cold cap three times but it didn’t work for me. If your hospital has it I would try it - I know some women who it has worked well for. My hair started to fall about day 16 or 17. My scalp became very sore and then it started to fall. It was heartbreaking and both myself and my husband found it very difficult to deal with. I got it cut into a short style and was surprised by how much I liked it short! Two weeks after the cut though too much more had fallen and the hair that was left made me look ill. So I though right sod it lets shave it off!!! My husband was very nervous about shaving it off as he did not know how I would react, but again to my surprise I utterly loved having a skin head!! I looked healthier and felt liberated. I think its all down to a control thing. There would be no more sweeping up and hoovering every day and that horrible feeling of how much more will fall and finding it on your pillow just stopped. I kept looking in the mirror and laughing!! It was one more horrible thing to tick off the list.
You may not lose your hair. I think it depends on which drug you have. I lost half of my eyelashes but kept pretty much all my eyebrows. You’ll adapt and deal with whatever side effects you face, you’ll be quite surprised at how resilient you will become. Yes you will have really rubbish days and days where you think that you just can’t do it, but with support and determination you will get through it. I have found this forum an absolute godsend. Whatever you are faced with you will always find someone on here who has been there and done that. I have found excellent advice on here and when I have needed comfort I logged on and got it. I have also had many laughs - check out the chit chat section. No matter how supportive your friends and family are unless they have been though it they can never truly understand. But you’ll get that understanding on here and also from all the amazing people you will meet along the way. When I go for treatment I spend most of the time chatting and have met some really lovely people.
I hope you start to feel more up soon. Take good care of yourself.
Bird
xxxxxxx
hi i am not entirely new to this site was dx on the 18th november and still awaiting surgery. Fingers crossed should be in the next two weeks a long wait really !!!. I have at the moment a grade 2/3 nothing like being precise tumour lymph nodes have tested positive so they all gonna go estrogen receptive so treatment plan is mx they not sure as of yet if a single or a double as massive question mark over my left breast ( back to the nothing like being precise mode lol ). 6 months of chemo 6 weeks of rad and hormone therapy. The waiting around has been the hardest thing for me 2 months between dx and mx is a long time. I would really like anyone with any advice as i am absoultely shatting myself over the whole thing. Stupid irrational questions like i had better not wake up half way through the op ??? i really dont like the idea of looking like a cross between uncle fester and dawid off little britain because of chemo? I dont want my life to stop because of this horrible thing that has decided to knock me off feet with no second thought for all the things i got to look forward to in the future ?? I am 34 years old with two lovely girls who are 13 and 11 a boyfriend whos kinda struggling with the whole idea a family who really dont know what to do or say. Everyone is supportive but sometimes its a little too overwhelming for me let alone everyone else. I know i will get through this but worry about the cost emotionally and realtionship wise with some people in my life. I have always been the backbone in my family and also with my friends so its kinda of a humbling experience to have to be the one who can not cope for a change. any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated xxx
Penny
Hi Penny,
Could I suggest that you give the helpline here a ring tomorrow when they’re back working again, they’re here to support you through this. The helpline is open at 9am tomorow until 5pm (Mon-Fri) and Saturday 9-2. Calls are free 0808 800 6000.
Also there’s a BCC booklet which may help your partner, I’ll put you the link here.
another BCC publication which may be helpful for you when talking to your children is also linked below.
You can either download these directly or send for copies to be sent out to you free of charge. I hope this helps. Take care.
Jo, Facilitator
thanks jo for your quick response and yes i will give the helpline a ring xx
Pennyx
Hi penny and all other new ladies
I’m happy to talk to you! I was dx in march, age 36, married with two sons aged 4 & 2. Had snb, wle, 3 fec Chemo, 3 tax and 19 radiotherapy sessions. Now on 5 year tamoxifen. Feel free to pm me if u have questions. Or on here. I will gladly help all I can
vickie
x
Ps. It’s sh!te, but it gets better and I feel mostly like me again now, and I never thouht I would. I will bump my first thread up for you to show uou there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care and be kind to
yourselves. X
Posted on bhealf of new user Tracey
Hi Nigella
I was diagnosed on the 22 Nov 2010 and had my op on 14th Dec 2010. I feel a bit like i’m in limbo at the moment waiting to here from the oncology dept when I start my chemo. I feel quite isolated and lonely now everyones gone back to work.
Tracey
Hi tracey,
I too felt really isolated and alone at the start. This happened even when I was with people, but at least that meant my mind was slightly occupied. It’s people who are in the same boat as uou that you really need isn’t it? Has your bcn put you in touch with anyone? If not, the helpline here can match you up with someone who has been through similar to yourself and you can chat to them on the phone. Where are you In the country?
Take care
vickie
Posted on behalf of new user Maria.
Hi All.
I’m half way through my chemo now, but the system seems to need a complete re think, utter confusion seems to follow me all the time.
I have to have injections to bring my blood count up, and also the Picc line flushed every week. No probs you would think!!! The D/nurse’s say as I’m mobile they do not want to do it, (allthough the hosp said they would,) and I shd go to my GP. My GP’s surgery said the practice nurse, will not do these injections, and she can’t flush the picc line. Albeit she did my neighbours Picc line last year! Its bad enough going through this awful disease and treatment, without having to bang your head up against a brick wall. But on the plus side I have only three more chemo to go, and Im sure my hair has started to grow slightly. My next hurdle will be the surgeon and reconstruction, Oh and today I have found that my prosthesis has split, its only 2 months old. What else can go wrong?
Hi all - thank you for you comments.
Was told yesterday that chemo is the way forward and my first session starts on 3rd Feb so my head is allover the place.
Have any of you managed to keep working whilst having chemo treatment? I work full time in an office. Credit Control - not the most exciting of jobs I know but its a job! x
Hi Nigella I havent been able to work through any of my treatment not only because im a nurse and couldnt go back because i work on control of infection /isolation ward so a definate no no for me but i dont think i could have done anyway cos of fatigue and nausea /vomitting untill Fec 4 when i had different anti-sickness my 2 weeks after Fec i felt relatively ok and back to normal but still couldnt have got myself out of bed in the mornings needed more time to come round and feel ok . I have just gone back to work last week after 9 months off on phased return but i am lucky that i get paid while off so it sort of depends on circumstances aswell . x Julie