Need someone to talk to and it can’t be my nearest and dearest. Dx 2005 invasive lobular - mastectomy etc.
Now waiting to go to clinic next week with new lump. Trying hard to stem the rising tide of fear as I relive it all over again. Hoping it’s all a bad dream and try to fill each day with activity so as not to think - that’s not working.
Son starts his ‘A’ levels a few days after my clinic appoint. so I must keep a lid on my emotions.
Seren
Hi Seren, the waiting is horrendous wish there was something that could be done to address this as I think most are in agreement the waiting is the worst part. Hope everything turns out ok no muse saying try not to worry… Love Eileen
Hi serendipity im in exactly the same boat and want to throw up so i know how you feel, i dont have any words of wisdom sorry but im here if you need to talk
Anna
Hi Seren and Anna
Don’t forget about the helpline if you feel it would help to speak to someone in confidence, we re-open in the morning at 9am. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
Best wishes to you both
Lucy
Hi Anna
Sorry to hear you are ‘in the same boat’ but I know you will really understand too.
Can’t sleep, can’t settle to anything that involves sitting still ( too easy to start thinking when not rushing around ).
Just can’t seem to focus on anything other than Fri. and how I can possibly face the prospect of telling my son that dreaded news again. No matter how hard I try to not dwell I too have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach all over again.
When was your original dx?
When do you go to clinic?
Will be thinking of you - let me know how you are - having someone to talk to is worth a thousand ‘words of wisdom’ don’t you think?
Seren x
Thinking of you all. I know how you feel . Last year I had a lump on my mastectomy scar - fortunately the biopsy revealed it was dead scar tissue but I spent days feeling sick and worrying. Even now I have a new reconstructed breast I am still anxious because I yesterday I felt a tiny lump on the new boob. This forum helps immensely. I am seeing my breast care nurse next week to see what thel ump is and praying it will be ok.
I agree with you Seren that having someone to talk to is so good for us.
Thinking of you all.x
Hi abcde
Hope the visit next week allays your fears - all the best
Seren x
Hi Seren,
I feel I can empathise with you as I too found a new lump having gone through the treadmill of treatment. As Eileen said the waiting is horrendous.
You need to accept that you will be all over the place that is perfectly normal, don’t listen to the voice that says ‘you should pull yourself together’ that’s just not likely until you have the results. IF and only IF you have to face your son with news that there has been a recurrence then its something that has to be done. When it happened to me I told my three ‘kids’ that I had found another lump, it could be treated and I would be off my feet for a while again. I found they took the honest approach quite well. When they asked if I was going to die I said I didn’t know, I just know I will take all the treatment I can and keep as positive as I can.
If it helps, IF this lump is a recurrence and it is in your breast it may still be classed as a local recurrence, still very treatable. The onc will probably ask for a scan to check the rest of the body before they decide how to treat you.
I truly hope the lump turns out to be scar tissue, keep in touch.
Carol
Thanks Eileen
The support that folk like yourself are giving is going a long way to making the wait a little more bearable.
Seren x
Hi Carol
Thankyou for sharing your experience - it is so helpful to know how other folk have coped and are coping.
Your post makes me feel that I am normal in having so many fears about this new lump
The lump is in my remaining breast - I had a mastectomy without reconstruction last time.
Life had begun to pick up again and I had hoped we could put it all behind us - and enjoy seeing my son having come through it all so well. Now I am so afraid we are going to have to relive it so soon again, and I worry how that could affect my son’s exams and future.
I know my fears are running away with me before I have been to clinic but I can’t stop dwelling on ‘what if’s’ - especially when I’m lying awake at night. I am normally a ‘glass half full’ person but can’t seem to rise above the fear.
Seren x
Hi Seren
Just wondering how you went on today?
Love
Alise x
Hi Everyone
Just wanted to share my good news with all of you - went to clinic yesterday.
Had exam, mammogram and then ultrasound and consultant radiographer said she couldn’t see anything suspicious on ultrasound so no biopsy ( is that normal) - unfortunately my previous mammogram was at another unit so she said she would retrieve it,then compare them and only send for me if there was a change.
Would have felt even happier if it could have all been done there and then as I’m going to be a little uneasy for the next week - though nothing like I have been!!
Have to say that without the support from all of you I don’t know how I would have coped with not having anyone to talk to around me.
Love
Seren x
Hi Seren
That’s brill news!! I am sure if there is nothing suspicious on ultrasound you will be fine.
I am so relieved for you especially as your son was about to start his exams it would have been awful to have to have gone through all that again.
Love
Alise x
Hey Seren that is great news. Let us know how it all goes. x