Hey guys,
I feel like to need somewhere to write down all my feelings, I feel like if I can put in on paper my brain might free up from it all.
I’m 26 and found a lump, I have the breast clinic in 2 weeks, I cancelled my first appointment as I fly to ibiza this Friday so my appointments been delayed by 7 days, I can’t help thinking that I should of decided not go and go the the clinic instead but if I have got the C why not go any enjoy some sun and sea before the sh*t starts ?
My dads also starting his first round of chemo for aggressive high grade lymphoma on 20th, whilst I’m in Ibiza!!! My auntie had chemo for a blood cancer and the lady she was having it with died as a result of the chemo drugs. How can I be in Ibiza when Dad has his first session?
I’m an only child and it’s just me my Mam and Dad, Mams having to deal with Dad starting chemo and me going to the clinic, I haven’t told Dad about the clinic as I’m sure even the though of me have breast cancer wouldreally knock him back.
But I can’t talk about it to Mam as I don’t want to worry her and I have to act strong in front of Dad and pretend that nothings wrong with me.
We have all been so strong and positive with Dad, he’s even talking about going on a cruise next summer and getting off his morphine tablets etc.
But as his first chemos getting nearer, my Ibiza holidays coming up and the worry of my breast lump I’m just not coping. I feel like I’m constantly on the edge of just having a massive meltdown, which is so unlike me, Iv always had no problem with mental health and always have the mindset of you could walk out the house and get hit by a bus so don’t panic or cry about what might happen as it hasn’t happened yet! But I’m struggling.
It’s a tough call all round for you at the moment, and there are lots of wonderful ladies who write here regularly, and will put it all a lot better than I can - but all this is one shock after another for you, and of course it’s knocking you sideways. . . . .you are very young to be coping with ALL of this at one time, so allow yourself time to take it in. As regards your delayed appointment - I think the general opinion is that 7 days delay won’t hurt, especially if it gives you some time to take it all in and gear yourself for future days?
If you really do feel in huge panic mode though, inview of all this, I am wondering if a chat, if possible, with your gp might be helpful, maybe in terms of some very short term meds to help you maintain some calm in your life? That’s a purely personal point of view, and I don’t know if others would agree - but if the turmoil is so huge, then sometimes we all need a bit of help. I wish you the best, and I hope you come back here for support from those better qualified than me to comment.
Many years ago I went on holiday a couple of days before my dad went it for a cancer related operation, his words were, well you staying here is not going to make any difference to the outcome of my op and I would hate you to miss a holiday that you had been looking forward to. And he was right the way Dads always are.
You going on holiday and delaying your appointment for 7 days is not going make any difference at all to the outcome of that appointment, at the moment all you know is that you have found a lump which very sensibly you are getting checked out, as you will see on here there are many ladies in the same position and around the same age as you who once they have been checked out by the breast clinics it has turned out to be a benign condition.
Take a big deep breath my dear, focus on enjoying your holiday in the sun, if it is like here we have got rain so some nice sunshine will only do you good, then when you come back you can deal with things from there.
Keep coming on here and we will help you in whatever way we can to get you through.