How do you know when it's time for councelling?

How do you know when it’s time for councelling?

Hi there Hi there,

Sorry you’re feeling so low at the moment. I don’t think anyone can really put a time limit on depression or tell you when it’s all going to get better. A part of us will always have this cancer fear over our heads but I think, over time, it does get easier to deal with. I too suffered from depression before I was diagnosed but I only realise now how bad I was. I was actually put on the waiting list to see a counsellor last summer, 3 months before I was diagnosed. Of course, when this happened the process was speeded up and I started seeing someone in January. For me counselling has been really valuable. I can talk about my fears with a stranger who won’t get upset when I’m totally honest about how I feel. I was in shock for about 4 months after diagnosis but gradually started getting my life back together. I’ve now just finished treatment and have a whole new set of fears to deal with.

Perhaps you should go to your GP and ask about counselling.
Take care of yourself.
Tasha x

Counselling I found that counselling really very helpful. I certainly learnt a great deal about myself and family!! But… you have to find the right counseller. I have had three different counsellers and out of the three, one was completely useless - for me that is!!. I think it is all down to our personalities and finding a counseller who is right for you. So my advice if you do go along the counselling route, and if you aren’t compatible with the first counseller don’t be disheartened just find another who is right for you.

Wishing you well.

You don’t Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I am now in councelling 20 months after my mastectomy as I am suddenly very very low and struggling to come to terms with what happened. I had very high grade DCIS and had no real choice and had a mastectomy with immediate recon (TRAM). I am still having problems and in a lot of pain that no one seems to be able to explain. I seemed to be getting on fine until Xmas and suddenly hit a brick wall. Stopped coping with things, my blood pressure is sky high and feel like crying all the time. I have begun to have doubts about the choices I made and hate my body and don’t want to get out of bed some days.

I eventually went to councelling and it is helping…but it does take time. I was very lucky in I hit it off with my counsellor straight away. Aparently it is all to do with me not dealing with loss…I shut it out and it all seems to have started when I lost my Dad to cancer 15 years ago. The world sees me as a coper…well I don’t feel like one at the moment. Hang in there and try and talk to someone. Don’t bottle it up and try to talk to someone. The biggest thing I have got from it all is it is ok not to cope sometime, jump up and down and scream every now and then - if people can’t cope with that it is their problem not yours.

Hang on in there and try and find someone who will listen and not judge. Best wishes, thinking of you.


Hi Dadoo If you’re the type of person who needs to talk through your problems then I would say now is the time for counselling. I just wish I could have talked to a professional as soon as I was diagnosed as it would have stopped me brooding over the things I can’t change and helped me focus on those that I can.

I had to wait a good 3 months to see a counsellor even though it was the first thing I asked for when diagnosed.

I wish the government would make more money available for women in our position so those who need to talk, can!

Of course I can’t speak for you. Everyone deals with the issues in their own way. I think we all know what’s best for us if only we can identify it intuitively. What does your inner voice say?

good luck with everything and hope you find comfort

Jenny XX

Probably when yo ask the question. Its better to go early than to wait until you’re low as you may not feel like making contact then. I know women who go to the support groups, not because they feel they are in dire need of support (although some are) but because they enjoy going.

I see a counsellor because I was already seeing one before i was diagnosed. My partner had died (with cancer) and i was having bereavement counselling: Friends had said i should make use of it when I was offered it - i didn’t think i needed counslling at all, but it has made such a difference to me in more way than one. i am now continuing it but the emphasis has changed to my BC. I sit and talk in a way i couldn’t/wouldn’t with friends and family.

hi there.i dealt with my cancer diagnoses really well! then after a second mastectomy became depressed and withdrawn i suffer a lot of nerve pain and thought every twinge was sinsiter, my 14 year daughter suffered an emotional breakdown and couldn’t cope with school etc I couldn’t see an end to it all. After our GP came up with nothing but “it will get better in time” we went to see a homeopath who listened to us indivdually and prescribed a remedy, with some trepidation we took the remedy not expecting much but we are both firing on all cylinders again I sleep well at night now without waking up feeling sick with worry, and i don’t look for traces of regrowth of the cancer all the time now (still do occasionally but its a remedy not a miracle) My advice to you would be (iam 3 years post mastectomies ) if you wake up and feel like rubbish and are having a bad day revel in it have a really bad day ( I almost enjoy mine) then the next day will be better don’t pretend your ok if your not tell people its worth it just to see their face when they say are you ok and you say no actually i am having a really bad day and am in a really bad mood lol.
I don’t think i will ever feel totally that its gone but it does make me appreciate things more and i try not to put things i want to do off and clean the house instead I do what i want first and the boring stuff later,
enjoy yourself and indulge a bit my favourite is getting a load of books from the library and wondering which to read first while sitting in the garden in the sun oh the small pleasures.
take care

time for counselling Hi dadoo1

really sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. I don’t think there has to be a right time to go for counselling. The very fact that you are asking the question suggests that it might be worth trying. I think counselling really helps when someone finds themself ‘stuck’ in a situation. Sometimes, whilst the situation itself cannot be changed exploring how we think and feel about it allows us to move on a little. I have had counselling in the past and I found it a very positive experience - although sometimes hard work. The fact, as someone else mentioned, that you have the opportunity to talk to someone who will not judge you or have their own agenda (and friends and family cannot help having their own agenda) is liberating. I would really encourage you to go for it: if you don’t like the counsellor you can change, and if you don’t find it helpful you can stop.

May I just say that, like all of us who are having this treatment, you have been through an awful lot. I sometimes feel life has been put on hold, almost as if I am holding my breath until treatment is over. One of the best things I learnt when I had counselling (although that was for other reasons) was to chose one small thing I would enjoy each day and to ensure I did that thing. It had to be something just for me. At the time I found this incredibly difficult as I wasn’t enjoying anything but it helped enormously.

Take care of yourself.



Dadoo I have suffered from depression on and off all my adult life and after I finished my bc treatment and realised I wasn’t cured, I went down into a spiral of despair. I began to think about recurrence all the time and rang my bc nurse for help. She arranged a course of counselling for me - only 6 sessions as this was NHS and that’s all they offer in my area - but it was immensely helpful. It hasn’t taken away my fear but I can now manage it and get on with my life. I would ask your GP or bc nurse what they can organise for you - if you are thinking about it, it probably means you need it now.