How soon after mastectomy can I see my kids/husband?

Hi
I’m having a mastectomy on 11th and I’m desperate to see my kids (2 and 5) as soon as I can. They are pretty upset that I am going into hospital as I have never spent a night away from either or them and never been away from my youngest for more than a couple of hours or so.
Can anyone tell me what physical state I’ll be in after the operation - I’m not having reconstruction (too little fat on my tummy - normally something I’d be pleased with!! and also don’t want it to get in the way of further treatment down the line). Will I be completely zonked out for several hours? I don’t know when I am going to be operated on but I could try to ask the surgeon to do me first - whether he would agree or not, I don’t know. He has already kindly agreed for me to come in at 9.30am rather than the usual 7.30am so I can take my son to school and so it will be as normal a day as possible. The thing I am most anxious about over all is the effect on this whole thing on my kids and I know by evening they are going to be very upset that I am not there. Do you think I will be in a state that won’t upset them so that they can see me in the evening? I have no experience of general anaesthetic so don’t know what I will be like. I don’t want to scare them by not being all drowsy and incoherent - if that is what indeed I will be - will I be???

Any advice would be really appreciated. Also, could my husband come and see me in the evening or is it not worth seeing anyone? I assume he can phone the ward to see if I’m still here? Does anyone have any idea if this is possible? I am so ignorant (happily so far) of hospitals!!

Many thanks in advance,

L xxx

I had my op end of april 07, but I had a recon and was down for 8 hours. In the hospital I was in a mastectomy is only a few hours and you could go home in 2 - 3 days. I came round in the recovery room telling them it was friday night and I was going out with the girls! Your boys understand more than you think they do, I’ve got two of my own, they will just be glad mum is going to be better. Please don’t feel anxious, just get better, they know. Please don’t do anything you can’t coz it won’t do them any good, best thing is to explain mummy can’t do this today but she can in a while.

Take care honey

criggy

Hi L, (Flaxhigh)

I had my mastectomy on June 7th this year.

I went down for my operation just after 12.30 - lunch time - and I woke up at about 5.30 just in time for tea. I was starving, so I sat up in bed, swung my legs over the side and ate a hearty meal.

I was absolutely fine after my op. For the first hour, I was just laid flat in bed, with the oxygen mask on (to get rid of the anaesthetic) then the nurses came to give me a little wash down - lovely - and like I say, I was sat having my meal and feeling great.

I got up to the loo and had a walk…little difficult with the drain bags…but I managed it.

My hubby came to see me and I walked him back to the door when it was time up on the ward.

I had a good night on the ward and I left hospital two days later with my drains, to which the district nurse came to change and after 3 days the drains were removed.

I haven’t chosen recon just yet, I’m 54 and I have a 15-year-old daughter. I may go for it in a few years time.

Don’t worry, your little boys won’t really know what has happened to you, only that mummy isn’t to good at the minute and children are so resilient.
I’m sure you will be fine.

I’m back at work, living life to the full and I’m alive…

My thoughts are with you and hugs and kisses ready for you on the 11th.

Take care

Linda xx

Hi Flaxhigh,
I think everyone is different and a lot will depend on how you react to the anaesthetic. I had my op (mast and ax clearance) two weeks ago. I am very fit and healthy and expected to breeze through. I suffered a lot with sickness and had a morphine drip in for two days. My husband bought my 5 year old son in to see my the afternoon of the op and I was sleepy and not moving. Although he was fascinated by the ‘equipment’ and seemed fine, my husband told me later that he sobbed himself to sleep and wanted mummy home (he is my youngest and a bit of mummy’s boy). My daughters came the next day, they are 8 and 10. I was more alert but still attached and my 8 year old was not so keen to be there. I children are very resilient and we have been completely honest about this whole thing with them. But in hindsight I would not have let my youngest see me until I was sitting up in bed laughing and in nornal PJs looking normal - the way they always see you. They will not be ‘harmed’ in any way by not seeing you for a day or two, especially if you have a supportive husband.
You must focus on YOU getting better. Having said all that, you must do what you feel is right for you. There is no right or wrong way. I wish you luck for the op. It is all fine and what a relief to have the cancer GONE!
Thinking of you,
Liane x

Hi Flaxhigh

I had my op on the 13th Nov, at 7.30. My husband and 2 daughters came with me (daughters are 21 and 9). All stayed until I was taken down to theatre - eldest daughter then took youngest one home. My husband stayed in the hospital thoughout my operation - the nurses let him wait in the day room. I came back at 9.30 ish and was a little groggy from anaesthetic but knew he was there. He only stayed a few minutes to chat for a while (as much as I could lol) but it was so nice to see him.
He came back at 10 the next morning with the kids - by which time I was up and having breakfast, and looking relatively normal and with it!

Good luck with your op - I hope everything goes well for you, please keep us posted

Margaret x

Thanks all,
I shall wait till the next day till my kids come in. I wanted to get out earlier than 5 days but the consultant said with young kids, it’s better to be in hospital because of the drains. Are these drains attached to something you have to wheel about? I have no idea what they are. Would it be advisable not to go home until they are out, given that it is quite hard - though I guess not impossible - to stop a 2 year old, and to a lesser extent a 5 year old, climbing all over you and possibly knocking the drains - whatever they are - out!?

Love,

L

Hi Flaxhigh

The drains are attached to a small plastic bag about 4" x4" and they give you a pretty little bag to carry them round in, bit of a pain carting them round but you can shower, go to the loo and your kids don’t even have to know you have them coz you can hide them under the dressing gown or clothes that you have on. I didn’t go home till mine were out, wasn’t given the option had my op on frid drains out on sunday, but it depends on how much fluid is coming out, some hospitals will send you hame with them in. Take time to rest in hospital if you can as two year olds are quite demanding, told my two year old granddaughter that I had a baddy with a plaster on and she accepted it really well and realised that I could not pick her up, now bless her as she came when fitted for my prothesis she always asks if I have my booby when she sees me.

Take care

Heather

Hi Flax

Different consultants seem to have different views on the drains - some just let you go with them still in - but I have to say if I had very young kids I would rather they were out before I went home.

The drains are basically plastic tubes from the wound site down to a bottle (like a pint size milk bottle in my case lol don’t know if they differ?!). I had two of these drains, and therefore 2 bottles, and they were put in a little jazzy littlewoods bag which you just carry about with you. They aren’t on the type of contraption that say a drip is on, where you have to wheel it about it.
Hope this helps - and good luck

Margaret x

Hi Flaxseed

I’ve just had a mastectomy and had two drains on the side operated on. The drains are thin tubes which run into a smallish container which has some kind of vacuum which sucks the excess fluid inside it. You carry the drains and containers around with you and it is suggested that you take a couple of small carrier bags into hospital with you to put each drain/container in which makes carrying them around easier. It is probably a good idea that children are kept away from you whilst you have the drains in as even though they are held in place with a stitch if they are pulled or tugged on it can be quite painful/uncomfortable. You will be so ready to come home after 5 days though - I was really relatively ok by the Friday (day 3) but stayed in because of the drains.

Hope this helps
RebzAmy

Doh Flaxhigh sorry got your name wrong - I must have had Flaxseeds on the brain!

Hi Flaxhigh

I haven’t had my mastectomy yet but had me WLE in June and I have a 2 & 5 year old.

I waited until the next day for them to come in to see me as I was pretty much out of it until past their bedtime. Besides, when they came in the drip was out so that didn’t scare them.

I would say though that I didn’t want to go home with my drains in. All my kids wanted to do was sit with me & cuddle me when I got home and I would have been very nervous with my drains in with them clambering all over me - my 5 year old was very good about the drain when visiting in hospital & knew to always sit on my good side, but my 2 year old (boy) who was only 1 at the time didn’t understand & I was worried he might catch it & it pull. Besides I had nerve pain (hot stabbing pain) where my drain was sitting in my chest so was uncomfortable enough!!

Good luck with it all

xx

Thanks for clearing that up - sounds just fabulous!! I shall take a coupld of plastic bags with me and also someone somewhere has said that a shortish dressing gown is better than a long one - now I am wondering why that might be? Any ideas? I find it very helpful to know about everything. My BCN gave me her card and said - in one of those fake caring voices - ‘if you need anything just call’ but I’ve rang her a few times and the ansaphone is always on and even if I leave a message, I never get called back so I know NOTHING…

Any tips on taking stuff in? I’ve got my front opening PJs, loads of books, a newly purchased IPOD (giving me a nervous breakdown just trying to work out how to put anything on it…) washbag including wipes, flannel and dry shampoo. Do you take your own towels? Probably, I should think. Do you have your own reading light when the main lights go off? I’m really showing my ignorance here! I can’t sleep at all, so I shall have to slip in my sleeping pills …they don’t search your bag, do they? And can you bring in food?

Love,

L

Hi Flax

That’s really bad of your BCN - she should at least have the decency to ring you back. I took a long dressing gown but very rarely wore it cos it was so flipping hot in the hospital!

I took books, (reading and puzzle books), radio, usual washbag stuff, my own towels. The beds in my hospital did have individual reading lights - I’m assuming all do? I also took small change for the paper man in the mornings, and biscuits - oh and my mobile on silent cos they weren’t really allowed!

They do take any medication off you - and you would be as well to tell them if you have anything in case of any interaction with the drugs they may give you.

Margaret x

Hi Flaxhigh

I took my own pillow as sleep much better with it. Yes a shortish (knee length) dressing gown is better than long as the drains run down your body and get less caught up in a shorter dressing gown. Take your own towel. You should have your own reading light for when they switch out the main lights. Take a small amount of change but leave your purse at home and also leave your jewellery at home. Remove any nail varnish from fingers and toes.

I can’t believe your breast care nurse hasn’t called you back that is really poor service - I haven’t had to call them a lot but they always call back.

If you are taking sleeping pills make sure you don’t take the night before your operation - they won’t search your bag lol but because you will be having an anaesthetic it isn’t a good idea. You can bring in your own food in fact you can bring in whatever you like. I also took in a portable DVD player and started watching 24. In fact the lady in the bed next to me brought in one of those shopping trolleys and the amount of stuff that came out of it - it was like watching Mary Poppins.

RebzAmy

Flaxhigh

I too had a reading light & echo what above RebzAmy & Margaret have said about what to take in. Just to add…I’ve seen a few ladies on here mention taking in a “V” Pillow as they are more comfortable as you can prop up your bad side a little easier.

I’d ditto the sleeping pills thing - anyway you will be very tired after a general anasthetic for a good few days so don’t think you’ll need them but you’ll need to “declare” them if you do take them in.

iPod is a good idea. Each bed has a TV & phone combo which you have to pay for although I seem to remember that first thing in the morning the TV was free which was enough for me!

xx