How to let go of fear?

Hi…so its me again lol! Had quire a decent… (but no where back to mormal) night out in Shrewsbury with my partner,last night. Am now back home and fee so low and wobbly again. How do you ladies cope with the uncertain future etc?? I keep telling myself I’m only 51 and always imagined living a fair age wit my family around me. Now…it feels like all that has been taken from me and it’s torture at times…waiting for something to happen…sorry be so negative…I’m just srugglin a bit xx Rachael x

Hi Rach 65 I have been reading the forum since I was diagnosed April 2014 but never message you sound just like I was back then . I was 51 with a ten yr old little girl who I never thought I would see get to 14 but here I am aged 55 . I had chemotherapy first and mastectomy radiotherapy then reconstruction in June 15 . I used to go from positive to negative all the time when I used to feel scared I would walk look at the trees look at the birds just think I really want to live . My saying is it will get better but not overnite it’s a healing process I still wobble from time to time I would never have wanted breast cancer but it has changed my life I fundraise and I have met so many women who have had breast cancer who I now call my best friends it will get easier just takes time

Aww thanks for the reply hun…it must have been so difficult for you with a young daughter. .did you have to have chemo to shrink the tumour first? I was so happy with my guy before all of this and it’s put serious strains on us…means so much that you have messaged to support me…thankyou again x love Rachael x

I did have chemo to.shrink Tumor first which it did I went through so many negatives and I always called my oncologist a bully she gave me full works and glad she did now but not at the time haha my hubby was a gem going through everything we have.been together since 16 so have 3 other grown up children he never makes me feel like a freak that I think I am and new boob doesn’t bother him he says it means I’m still here . I think I am wonder woman now now and don’t let anything stand in my way if you need to talk I could message my number please let me know
Michelle xx

Aww thanks Michelle.I’d love your number x

Can I put it on here 

I’ve got your number now hun thanks. Hope you can delete it if need be xx thankyou xx

Hi Rachy, I know how u feel, I’m finding the whole thing harder now my treatment has all finished. I had a mastectomy first with immediate implant, then chemo after, just started hormone tablets just over a week ago. My husband and I were out with friends last night for drinks, I tried to have a good time, putting on a fake smile and laugh, but I was struggling, like u say, I can be really positive one minute, then really scared the next, the dreaded…what if it comes back! I have though been told this is normal after treatment and it should get easier through time, I’m 54 with 2 grown up kids, 23 and 20, i keep thinking of the future, will I see them get married? Grand kids Etc… It can be torture at times, but like my husband says, no one knows what the future holds, we could walk out the door tomorrow and not come back, accidents happen every day, I’m sure later I’ll have more positive days than negative.xx?

Hi hun I’ll pm you if that’s ok? X

Hi Rockstarchick -as Optimissy says please delete post with phone number in anyone can access this information - any problems doing this e mail the moderators .

Hi Munchkin could you pm me? As I’m having trouble doin it. Thanks xx

You may need to tick a box to enable private messaging .

So sorry didn’t think how do I delete it x

Hi Rockstarchic,
You need to be on the full web version not the mobile version. At the top right corner of your post you will see an ‘options’ drop down box. Select ‘edit reply’ then re-post.
Alternatively you could click ‘notify inappropriate content’ on the left side of post, asking to moderators to remove your number.
If you are unable to then contact the moderators by email,
ann x

Just to add, to get to the ‘full web’ version on your mobile, scroll right down to the bottom of the page & you will see ‘full’ above terms & conditions. Click on this to get the full web version. It is a bit fiddly though!

All done now and so sorry x

Thank you for your help my teenage daughter figured it out they have their uses hehe ?? I am a dimwit just being helpful xx

Click on my profile and tick box enable private messages .

Hi Munchkin…that is a discroption of how I feel at the moment. …srugglin to socialise at all…becoming bit of a recluse! …I was totally opposite before all of this. I know my partner is srugglin how I am. He says the same about been hit by a bus etc…I feel that a bit respectless of what we are going through at times xx

Hi Munchkin. …did you have to have a mastectomy due to the size? Mine was lobular… 6.5 cm …node neg. Low Lincolnshire, si they said I didn’t need chemo…I’m on arimadex now,which I feel have added to my feelings of anxiety etc xx thankyou again. .I’m going to see my gP today xx