Kate- wanted to wish you well for today and hope you get some straight,positive answers.
((((hugs))))
Shell
xx
Belinda I have sent you another PM on this one!
Lesley xx
Wishing you a positive outcome today, Kate.
Thinking of you.
Big hug
xxx
Hope all goes well for you today Kate and that you get some straight answers
Lesley xx
Hi Kate
found all this really interesting to think abut - sadly had no words of wisdom - I once asked my onc " if you were me (with all your knowledge) what other questions would you ask" but she didn’t respond - hope it goes ok today , jaynex
Hi Kate,
Have been thinking about you today and have been wondering since I started reading this thread yesterday what I would do in your shoes and it is hard to know really (especially as head upside down waiting fro scan results this afternoon) but think Deirdre’s advice and question is great but I would definitely have to write that one down! As patients we see an extra day, week, months so much differently from those treating us and what seems a comparitively short time to them is so precious for us and if you can convey this, which I am sure you will, then hopefully your oncologist will understand.
I like Jayne’s “If you were me…” I once asked my surgical oncologist when faced with a few options on primary diagnosis what he would advise his wife to do if she were in my shoes and he answered immediately and I hope honestly and I followed that advice so it is worth asking if their answer will influence your decision.
Hope all goes as well as possible for you, Kate, and thinking about you loads in between my bouts of pre-scan-results tension/hysteria.
Lots of love,
Angee xxx
Thinking of you today Kate and hope something positive has come out of your meeting.
big hugs
Ruby xxx
Hi Kate
I agree with Deirdre. There is someting that puzzles me - if I remember correctly, you are also on Herceptin. Having just changed from Her2- to Her2+ my Oncologist told me that this was good because I could take Herceptin now, and when that fails there was something else, it think he called it Lapintab. My question to you is how do you know if Herceptin in still working for you, or is it time you changed to Lapintab (or whatever its called)? If so, maybe this could improve your condition. I hope and pray you have got a good outcome from your meeting.
Thinking of you
LInda
Hi Kate,
Been a bit off line over christmas and new year, so only just seen this. You bring up a very important dilemma. How honest can we be with consultants and vice versa, and also , how to get what we want. I personally think both of these depend on the nature of the relationship one has with the consultant. Does the onc, know you/likeyou/give a damn whether you live or die? It is in all our interests to build relationships with health care professionals, based on trust, otherwise how can we go forward. How can we go through all this if we don’t trust the people who are caring for us. Some of us have no choice, and are stuck with their local team whether they get on with them or not. Others can commute further to get the team we need. I am sure the onc’s have all been on courses entitled ‘How to not give patients what they want, when you feel it does them no good’. So to some degree we have to second guess all of that, and come up with good reasons why they should do what YOU want them to do. Obviously patient choice and empowerment is a big issue, and I think the other issue is that onc’s can only guess on outcomes, they will have statistical outcomes, but they surely cannot know. That is God type territory. How can they deny you that which they cannot be 100% sure about. In this area intelligent guesses are not intelligent.
Well I’ve surely ranbled here Kate, and I do hope it went as well as you would like it to.
Take care my friend
Hi Kate - like everyone else, have thought about you heaps today and really hope your appointment with the Onc was successful and he could see your point of view and concerns. For those of us lucky enough to know you, we have seen the improvement in your well-being since you were allowed the current chemo regime. I don’t know anyone else who copes with the chemo as well as you Kate, once the correct dosage was calculated, that is!!
Lots of love
Heather
Hi kate - have just logged on was hoping that you would have managed to post tonight. I really hope that you got the answers thay you were looking for today. very much in my thoughts. xx
Read your post on GG Kate. So sorry to hear how tearful your day was. Not because you shouldn’t cry but because it doesn’t make it easier to deal with all the other stuff that keeps on keeping on. I hope today finds you feeling a bit better. That onc of yours has no bedside manner whatsoever. Given that you keep on beating the odds and he doesn’t give you three months now - and didn’t two years ago, I would not dwell on his words, it will only make you feel worse. Those well-worn words ‘nobody can say how long you will live’, spring to mind. Also, why should he expect taxol to fail? Saying that with no back-up explanation sounds like empty talk to me.
Take care Kate, and hope you get some decent rest.
Jenny
xx