I don't want to worry my boyfriend and family

Hi all,


This is my fourth time waiting for my scans and biopsies appointment. I have three fibroadenomas. I found another lump on the 3rd of October, went to the doctor on the 4th and had my appointment phone call on the 6th. I’m due to go on the 17th. I was half expecting the doctor to not find anything and say she couldn’t feel anything new to worry about. Instead, she said she thought she could feel two in my right breast. I’ve never had pain with my others but I have pain in both my breasts and I think I can feel a new thickening in my left breast which is also constantly painful. I have pain in my left armpit too. I’ve never been particularly worried before but these pains are making me fret. I don’t want to let on to my family and boyfriend that I am actually worried this time. Does anyone else worry about worrying their family by talking about their own worries?


Hi Emma, so sorry you are going through this, and the fear and worry is understandable. 
Telling people who care about you is so difficult but if they know you well enough may well realise you are worried already. 
I told my friend when I was first referred for the biopsies etc and this helped me practise what to say and how to say how I felt (petrified by the way!)

a few days later I decided to tell my partner. Although it hit him like a freight train he tells me know that he would have been upset had I not involved him. Everyone is different and all relationships are different though.

I told my mum after I had the axillary node clearance and lumpectomy as I wanted to be able to tell her the exact diagnosis and plan at the same time. This I felt was best as we recently lost my brother to mesothelioma and I wanted to cause as little stress as possible. She tells me she had guessed something wasn’t right but that she understood my reasons for the delay. 
When I look back it put a lot of extra strain on me as I felt guilty and the ‘fibs’ were mounting up! It was probably extra stress I could have done without but it was best in our situation. 
maybe a close friend could work it through with you or the helpline?? I can’t advise you and don’t know if my story even helps but most of us benefit from some sort of support at times like these I found (and I am particularly independent!)

I wish you all the best for your appointments and send a huge hug xx