Just a few details,
I am 44 ,was dx on 3o June and had mastectomy and LD recon on 23rd July.My results were very good ,3 grade 1 lumps the biggest of which was 1.3cm and no lymph nodes involved.I am on tamoxifen only.
However my emotions are all over the place and I can’t stop crying .My GP was great on Monday but suggested that I discuss it with the Dr at my clinic appt yesterday.
I also have an issue with my scar which has a sunken bit that is visible even under a padded bra.
I went to the clinic and was called in nice and on time.My Surgeon was not available at clinic so was seen by his registrar.
The Dr drained the seroma again.I asked about the parts of my scar/wound that I am not happy with and he basically said I have seen worse!
He said it will never look like my other breast and maybe I should speak to the BCN about another type of bra!
At this point I was in tears and tried to tell him I was struggling emotionally,so as I was getting a tissue out my bag he handed me my slip to hand in for my next appointment!
I left the room with tears running down my face!
Luckily for me the first person I met was my BCN who immediately took me to her office and we had a long chat and I cried lots of tears.She went to try and find my Consultant but he was in a meeting,she got another reg to see me and he reassured me that if I was still unhappy with the scar in a few months they would be able to fix it for me or would get PS to sort it.
My BCN is referring me for counselling but this is something I would have liked to discuss with a Doctor.
I am also going to a “when treatment has finished” session next week where a physio,psychologist and BCN will all be there to answer questions.
My BCN also gave me Peter Harveys article to take away and read.
This was the first clinic appt I have gone to alone and I think it will be the last. Although if my OH had been there ,he would probably have been done for assault!
How can any Dr allow a patient to leave the consulting room with tears streaming down their face?
If I had not had the support from my GP the day before and from my BCN after my appointment ,I am not sure how I would have handled his treatment.I was being open and honest and asking for help.
I am going back to see my Consultant this afternoon and I am in a right state about it.I can’t stop crying. I have resurected my thread to explain what happened last time.(maybe I’ll get a response this time! LOL!)
My Consultant now knows that I was very upset at the last appt but I feel embarrased.
I am not getting any results or anything so no real need for worry but that doesn’t help how I feel this morning.I don’t even know if I want my OH with me or not.
I am also upset after reading a thread where someone posted a positive thread with 2 examples of BC patients surviving many years and was shot down in flames.I needed to read that good news but was so upset by what followed.I feel I need the hope that I am one of the lucky ones who has a long time ahead.Please leave me with my hope!
I am not in a position to offer you anything except my sympathy at how you were treated last time by the reg. I am sure that this time will be very different and you will come away happier. Do take your OH with you for support if you can.
Thanks Lynnette,I don’t really know why I am in such a tizz about it! Hopefully I will feel better by this afternoon.My Consultant is a lovely man and as long as I see him I am sure it will be OK.
Dot
xx
You have my sympathy, too. Hopefully this afternoon will be better. I think sometimes doctors get so wrapped up in fighting the ‘enemy’ (cancer), they forget that the battlefield (the patient) deserves some attention, too.
I want to offer you my sincere sympathy. I was suffering from depression when I was diagnosed. I’m still at the chemo stage. The Registrar at my first appointment told me that he thought having cancer would take my mind off depression and give me something else to focus on. Like you I was worried my OH would commit GBH
Thanks Bahons2 and Jilly,
I am starting to think more positively about it and think of questions to ask,but my head is all over the place.I don’t want to see DrX!!!
Jilly,that made me laugh, what an idiot, I do wonder where some Drs get there qualifications from, Ebay? ( and I work with some of them!) I mean any decent human wouldn’t have let me leave the room with tears running down my face never mind a “healthcare professional”. And as for BC taking your mind of your depression well I reckon your OH would have got off with the GBH charge!
Well I saw my Consultant yesterday and he was very apologetic for my last appt and I just kept saying its Ok,which its not but I turn into a wimp at appts!
I can’t believe what a tizz I was in yesterday morning!
He was very reassuring about my excellent prognosis which was what I needed after yesterday morning.
I have to wait and see if my wonky bits sort themselves out but if not he will do a nip and tuck! He was very pleased with his handiwork.My OH finds it very strange that another man is staring at my boobs saying how lovely they look!
Thanks for all the words of support,
Love
Dot
xx
Sadly, you are not alone Dot. I don’t feel well cared for by my team. My BC nurse said to “I don’t know what to do with you " then stared at me intensly in a manner that my husband finds scary and he’s a big man. The consultant said " Mrs *****. Don’t forget you have a life threatening illness!”. My crime…I was sitting crying saying I couldn’t cope anymore with hot flushes etc and weepiness and I wanted to stop Tamoxifen.
My husband phoned the radiotherapy dept and told them how I felt and I was referred to McMillan support by a radiographer. A lovely McMillan nurse came to the house and talked to me, she rang my doctors and demanded that they give me an anti depressant and arranged Cognitive Behaviour therapy for me. Months later, I mentioned to BC nurse that I had had CBT and she said " we don’t recommend CBT for BC patients, Why didn’t you tell me how you felt. I would have arranged counselling". Wanted to scream at her " Have you forgotten the 2 or 3 times I have phoned you in a state??"
Now, I try not to take anything personally but also try to stand up for myself and I wouldn’t think twice about making a proper complaint through PALS