I feel so sho** scaed!!!

Hi I have had 2 surgeries since dx in My and now I face chemo ( TAC ) I have had blood test, ecg test , have bone scan on mon, assessment on wed and start chemo on 30th. any advice apart from keep going?? I feel shit scared!"!!!

Lots of love sharon xxx

Hi Sharon

Recently finished 4 x EC and 4 x Tax…was horrified by the thought of chemo at the beginning. Am now squaring up to surgery and much less bothered by that than I was by chemo!

But it was all OK, nurses on chemo ward were great: cheerful, calm and knowledgeable, side effects were manageable and got easier as I learned what to expect. And it worked, which is the main thing.

You’ll find a thread on here called “Top tips for surviving chemo” or something similar (don’t worry, it’s easy to find) and that has some great advice.

Drink plenty water, rest lots and let us know how you get on! Loads of support here if you need it.

L.

Hi Sharon
I too had two lots of surgery, rads, chemo within 4 months. From finding a second lump I was given all the scans within a week and then a mastectomy before starting chemo within 4 weeks. It’s a really terrifying time and I don’t use the word lightly, but in hindsight you really have to get your mind into some kind of quiet zone otherwise it can tend to overwhelm you. Try really hard to just clear your mind of all the mess going on, even if it only for a few minutes,I suppose that the positive is that you are having all these tests and that can only help. With regard to the chemo, just try to go with the flow, everyone is different, but it is do able, there are some not so nice times and there are some ok times. Don’t worry about the bone scan it really is nothing to be afraid of. You will get lot’s of support on here. Sending you lots of good thoughts and hugs. xxx (Ps I just kept saying to myself ‘everything passes’, and it did)
Debbie x

Sharon

i was more than sh*t scared before starting chemo - sort of ice cold scared the day I had it BUT i can tell you that if i could turn the clock back and had to do it all again I wouldn’t be worried about chemo.

I had good days , I had bad days but it was all do-able.

As you go through the treatment you know when you will be having the ups and downs and can live you life accordingly.

My chemo took 6 months and in no way would I say that the 6 months was a write-off. I worked throughout (except on bad days) and hardly anyone knew I had had cancer (had the op first so preferred to think of it as gone already and chemo was more like prevention).

Having said that there are no guarantees and we all react differently. Some peopl were more ill than me but there were also many who were far less ill.

Good luck
Love FB xx

i too am about to start chemo. I had surgery, mastectomy and axillary node clearance on the 8th September. Originally scheduled for WLE and axillary node clearance, then changed to Mastectomy and SNB. However, during surgery apparently my nodes were all stuck together so they took them anyway - I am mighty pleased they did that rather than having to go back in.

I had my results yesterday. Grade 3 (not too good - can’t stop crying). Whilst I have remained positive todate knowing it is grade 3 has knocked me for six. Told I need chemo - 6 cycles TAX. Herp neg, Oestrogen positive. Radiotherapy then to chest wall, armpit and collar bone. My original plan was to work through it, I go bac to work on the 29th following surgery. However, people are saying that this will prove to be impossible needing 6 cyles of TAX. I need to work, my whole life has been work and the kids with not much time for anything else. Psychologically i don’t know if I can cope being at home. Di

Hiya

evetyone of us on here will tell you the same we were all sh*t scared when we went for first chemo no matter how mant times we were told it wasnt that bad. Your just feeling normal hun.

Good thing is once you had it you wonder why you were so scared we all did.

So good luck take deep breath and join the chemo club.

Joanne

Hi Sharon,
You may be surprised to know that it actually all settles down a bit when you start chemo as you get pushed into a routine of - treatment, yuk bit, ok week, good week and then round you go again. I think the worst panic is in the early days when you find out the c…p news and you have shock, the loss of your peace of mind, then they start with surgery, twice in your case. I had 8 hospital appointments in 3 weeks for tests and thought my life had been totally taken over and gone for a while. Now I just think about the one next thing I have to do and not too much further ahead or it would take over. As you are in the same area, I can tell you, you have the CT scan to do as well, so get ready for one more test. Sorry. There is some sort of order to being on chemo as you can work out, if you keep a diary, when you will be able to do things and when not. It sounds weird but it does bring a little order to your days after the mad early days.
I was convinced I would die in my first chemo so you can’t be much more scared than that can you!! Of course it was ok, skipped out of there so pleased to have one done and dusted and then sat and waited for the side effects a few days later for me. Try to focus on the fact that this is the stuff that is going to go and zap the little cs that might be lurking about. I did get a good feeling that I was doing my best to fight it and will probably feel a bit scared when I come off it! never thought I would say that when I started.
Look forward to meeting up, will recognise you from the radio active glow from your bone scan!!
Take care
Lily x

Hi Sharon,

Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I had Mx on 29th plus SNB which showed grade 2 60mm tumour with only 1mm margin. I’m due to start chemo at some point over thenext few weeks followed by 5 weeks of radio. I’m sh*t scared of chemo too, mostly due to my now growing phobia of cannulas and all things sharp. I read up on PICC lines the other day, and wished I hadn’t as I felt faint at the thought of it!

Meeting my onc this week for planning appointment so will be able to let you know if I can be your buddy if our schedules coincide. Meanwhile I’m still healing physically so am concentrating on that at the moment.

Best wishes and love, Bella x

I can understand how you feel I think but I was the opposite. I would have glugged down a reservoir of chemo on the day I was diagnosed if they had let me. I would have ran to theatre and had the offending t*t off. called at the radiotherapy suite on way back and had herceptin later that night. lol I COULDN’T WAIT to get started. I don’t want to trivialsise your fear or anything but that is how it was. I hated to wait as it was christmas and everything seemed to come to a standstill. I am sure that you will deal with it. I did get andstill have a fear of cannulas and that turned out to be the worst part of treatment as I had a year of herceptin. I hated the chemo but it is all a blur now 18 months later. Hope I haven’t upset you love Eileen

Hi Bella

Why dont you ask onc for a hickman line I had 3 epis which totally fried my veins the pain was immenece so got hick man line in what a god send ok it wasnt the most pleasant experience but Iam so glad I did it i even flush it once a week myself no problem I know my onc asked me last week if I had been offered it at the beginning would I have took it and to be honest because i didnt know that my veins would colapse on me I said no but had I known then yes I would have had it in the beginning so no harm in asking.

Joanne

Hi will respond properly tomorrow nite but thanks for people taking the time to respond.
Lily, I look forward to meeting you tomorrow at 1pm.

Take care love n hugs sharon xx

Hi Sharon,
I will be there and will hang on in case you get held up for a bit at the scan.
Good luck for your test.
Looking forward to a big chat.
Lily x