I’m just wondering if anyone else is having unsisterly feelings towards their breast nurse?
I have taken an irrational dislike to my breast nurse! I feel bad because she’s obviously a very lovely person but we just haven’t clicked.
I found her presence at my diagnosis intrusive and then during my stay in hospital after my op she picked the wrong times (to be fair there was never a good time) to be around. When I was feeling weepy the nurses went and got her despite the fact I just wanted to get my head together, she came and pulled my curtain and sat by my bed with her “cancer face” on and it just really annoyed me. She offered me a wig on the day of my diagnosis which was confusing, frightening and felt really superficial at the time. Poor lady, I know she’s just trying her best and that it’s impossible to do and say the right thing all the time but i just feel no rapport with her at all. She just seems to follow me around with her cancer face on! I saw her in Morrisons and my boyfriend and I ran up the frozen chips aisle to get away!! We laughed in the car park till we cried but i know that’s not the reponse she would wish to inspire!
Now that I’m 1 month in and have started chemo I could do with some advice (and a wig!) but she’s not the one I feel like turning to. Can anyone think where else I can get answers to my trivial and more important questions and referrals to things like look good feel better and maybe fertility related counselling?
I hope you don’t think I’m awful, I’m usually a very friendly lady, full of acceptance and empathy…I just don’t like my breast nurse for some reason!
Like you, I had a BCN (know what you mean about the ‘cancer face’) at one time who just wasn’t my kind of gal and…
I did exactly the same thing a few years at a branch of Morrison’s when I saw her (she lived near me, unfortunately, so there was quite a high risk of running into her almost anywhere) there once. Only difference was, I think it was the tinned tomatoes!
I’m not sure where else you could go for the advice you need, but I’m sure there will be others posting here shortly who will.
Welcome to the forums, I wanted to let you know that the nurses on our helpline will be happy to talk to you about any concerns or queries you may have and can also provide information about other support networks you may be interested in. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
I didn’t warm to mine. Just didn’t have a connection with her and didn’t think that her calling me “my love” was remotely reassuring or likely to have any impact on treating the cancer effectively. Perhaps it was her shoes…
Mine is really good but only part-time so works in a team. I have often had advice from her colleague who is just lovely. Could you see if there are any other BC nurses at your hosp and ring when they are there.
I know that they are all lovely,caring people but they really don’t help unless you are having surgery.
I haven’t had surgery because I’ve got secondaries so just went straight into chemo and haven’t had any contact with BCN since about Feb/March.
Those of us unfortunate to have secondaries could really do with more support from the BCN’s.
They really need to get their act together on this!
Allicat… why don’t you talk to the helpline here, they might know who you could get some support from. I haven’t seen mine since surgery so what you say makes sense.
I personally feel a bit uncomfortable with mine, she makes me feel all vulnerable whereas I’m very much a kick myself and get on with it kinda person, don’t like being weepy. Don’t know why that is. I think it must be this cancer face you all refer to.
What a shame. I had two breast nurses who worked together and they were always really straightforward and practical. The one time I cried she was just there for me. And we still chat when I see them around the hospital.
Hi girls, we have a team of BC nurses working together. I never clicked with the one I saw at my initial diagnosis. But when I phoned the helpline I spoke to another nurse who was ‘on my wavelength’ and from then on I always aksed for her. SHe was tremendous, answered all questions, helped with all little queries and sorted my prothesis out for me. Try and see whether you can see another nurse, you don’t have to explain why.
And, talking of hiding’ I saw my surgeon in Toys R Us, he was buying Xmas presents. Just walked up and said hi, which throw him completely. I don’t think he knew who I was outside the hospital setting. We did have a laugh afterwards.
it’s weird when you see hospital/chemo people out of context. I’m never even sure if I’m allowed to talk to them?Does patient confidentiality (spelling?) extend to Morrisons and Toys R us and do they even want to talk to us? I hid from my nurse but it wasn’t likely that she’d insist that I got them out for an examination there and then. A simple hello in passing would probably have done it!
I agree with Allicats comment “They really need to get their act together on this”, I am still waiting to meet my BCN, 6 weeks after surgery, I might be tempted to follow one into a supermarket and hijack her
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who isn’t that keen on the BC nurse. I felt bad dodging meeting with mine for 3 meeting appointments. I really took to the last one I had when I was first diagnosed but this one really annoys me! I think it might be the fact that she can’t say my name right, no matter how many times I correct her. My husband says I visbly bristle every time she says it! (How hard is Sophia to say??!!!)
Are you any where near a Maggies Cetnre? They’re great. Or call the breast care helpline or nurses from this site. They’re very helpful for factual stuff as well as support.
Anyway, good luck with your treatment.
S
I specifically asked not to have my BCN at my consultations, she was someone who I associated with giving me duff information at all times. I think she was scared of me too, and she told me early on that she wouldn’t be giving me any support if anything went wrong after my operation as she was on leave over christmas. So when I was admitted on christmas eve with a wound infection at least i had the reassurance that she wouldn’t be there thank god
Thanks Jimmi for bringing this up! I don’t think we want to say anything bad about people that are there to help us!
I had 2 nurses… my first nurse who told me they thought I had cancer was great… I found a lump and because I’m only 24 and no family history it was a massive shock and she dealt with me really well… then when I went back to get my results and there was the other nurse. She had the “face” and she kept pauses after everything she said incase I started crying, she was patronising and gave me minimal information… sounds harsh but I refer to her as Kevin Keegan rather than her name… luckily for me the first nurse began to deal with me again when there were complications in my diagnosis. But I dreaded that I’d get Kevin and I’d end up telling her to “P*ss Off”!!!
I think its just nature, we get on with some people and not others…
Jimmi - Were you not given a form that pays or discounts two wigs from a certain supplier? I was given one a couple of weeks after I was diagnosed.
I suppose i am fortunate that in our unit we have about 4 Bc nurses so if you dont get on with one you can always ask for another one.
I have some ‘horror’ stories about the BC nurse i had at DX and when i was told i needed chemo something i didnt think i needed, she was harsh and awful.
Fortunately i have since then had contact with 2 others and they are brilliant.
Alli its something that infuriates me the lack of care for secondary ladies and also the lack of care whilst any of us go through chemo.
The ‘awful’ BC nurse told me when i went for my prosthesis just before my first chemo, they dont support us anymore their job is finished’ This made me panic and feel so alone going through chemo. God knows how you must feel with secondaries.
I have written to LMC suggesting some of the ‘field of hope’ money go towards a secondary support group amongst other things at the unit. Guess what? havent even had a reply.
Seems ridiculous that you have a BC nurse at initial DX but for secondaries when you see the onc you have just the onc there.
Rx
