I was diagnosed on 17th Aug 2010. I was told I had a tumour laying just to the left side of my left nipple.
I felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer! The next week or so just became a blur. Constantly crying. Had approximately 5hrs sleep in 5 days! Couldn’t eat. Had some awful thoughts going thru my head.Just completely fell apart.
Then I found this website and although this is my first posting I have found comfort in reading other peoples postings. I realise that, unfortunately, I’m not alone! My thoughts and attitude started to become positive, I’m gonna beat this!!!
At diagnosis I given a choice of a lumpectomy with radiotherapy or a mastectomy with possibility of none or little radiotherapy. For my own peace of mind I choose to have a full mastectomy. I also saw the plastic surgeon and opted for reconstruction (breast expanding implant) which would take place at the time of the breast removal on the 4th Oct. On the 27th Aug I had a sentinal node biopsy.
I felt I was just getting my head round everything, then on 13th Sept went back for the results of the biopsy and again was hit by that sledge hammer!! The cancer has spread to my lympth nodes!! I was told I have Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, grade 2-3, stage 2. Emotionally I was knocked back to square one again.
I’m now scheduled to have my mastectomy tomorrow, with the removal of the lympth nodes from under my arm and up to my collar bone. No reconstruction can take place at this time, althou that was always a bonus, and I’m sure I will get used to just having one boob! I will also now need to have extensive radiotherapy and maybe chemotherapy.
I have a very loving, caring husband, daughter, son, family and friends, who I know will be here for me all the way. But I just feel like a need a mental hug from all you brave, corageous people who know exactly what I’m feeling. How do you all do it???
I apologise for such a long posting but it has actually helped me by just writing this.
I wish everyone the best of health.
Deana xx
Hi Deanad
A big cyber hug to you. You will get plenty of support on this site. Take care to read all the positive thread stories. It is a difficult time, as all the ladies here know, but you can share your fears and your joys and know that you are not alone.
Take care of yourself and let others take care of you too
Hugs
Maria
Welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will continue to receive valuable support and shared experiences. In addition, please feel free to call our helpline where you can talk your feelings and concerns through with one of our team, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000.
You may also find the BCC Resource pack useful, here’s a link to more information and an order form, it’s been designed to aid anyone newly diagnosed:
I’m so sorry to hear you news. I’m not in the same situation but understand your feelings as I’m sure we all do on this forum.
You’ve had two dreadful shocks which you need time to come to terms with. The problem is that everything seems to move so fast that you don’t seem to be able to keep up with it all.
The advice I would give you is to take one small step at a time. Concentrate on the first step of packing what you need for hospital and then tomorrow getting there. They are your first two steps. Don’t try and deal with too much at one time.
A huge cyber hug to you.((())) There will be lots of people on here who will support you. Keep posting. I’ll be looking for your post telling up how you are when you get home.
I thought my story might help so here goes. I was dx in 2004 and scheduled for mx and immediate recon.
Back then they weren’t doing sentinel node biopsies in advance so I went down for op expecting to come back with a new boob and a flat tummy. Unfortunately things were worse than first thought as cancer was found in the nodes and in my skin so no recon.
To say I was devastated is an understatement. I really struggled coping with a mastectomy that I hadn’t prepared for and then had chemo and rads.
What I am trying to say is that I understand how you must be feeling but want to tell you that things will get better. I had a recon later and got my new boob and flat tummy and here I am now just coming up to my 6yr anniversary.
So I wish you all the best with the op and am sending hugs. Just take one step at a time and after the op make sure you gt plenty of rest.
Hi Deanad
Know how you feel my story is very similar went from what We initialy thought would be simple lumpectomy then radiotherapy to major surgery (still sore under my arm and its three weeks ago) start chemotherapy begining of october then will have the radio therapy. Keep saying this and I am sure you will agree with me the mental torment far out weighs the physical, I have been having awful nightmares since all this began. Think like your self the goal posts have kept moving, leaving us feeling we have no control over what is happening to our bodies. I know the medical teams have our best interests at heart and we will come out the other end but it does not stop us feeling lost,and emotionally hammered.
My journey started 8 weeks ago and I am only now begining to take a little control back. Went to my local cancer care centre and have started having counselling found this really helpful.
Cyber hug sent your way.
Maggie xx
Hi Deana
Sorry that you have had this news. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. I was dx after three yearly mammogram and had wle and snb. I then found that the margins were not good enough so had to go back for mx. I wanted an immediate reconstruction but my surgeon refused as he was sure I would need radiotherapy. After mx I was told that the tumour was very irregular so would need chemo. I have now completed chemo and radiotherapy and I’m feeling good. I still want the recon but that is for the future. My skin has to recover from rads and then there will be a waiting list.
There is lots of good advice on this site and lovely people to help you along the way.
My advice as Jan has said is to take one step at a time. Until you get your results from the op you can’t get a treatment plan so its no good thinking about that at present. Concentrate on preparing for your surgery and recovery for now. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Hi Deana sending you a hug. Your post made me cry i’m so sorry your having a bad time. You are very brave because you are doing what needs to be done. I had an mx 5 weeks ago and am very well healed now and have got used to it. I am going to go for a recon next year too. If you want any info or support you will get it here. Pm me if i can help.
Good luck for tomorrow i will be thinking of you, the op itself i didn’t find too bad, honestly.
Thank you all so much for your messages and words of kindness. I’m totally over whelmed and lifted.
My kids (daughter 32, son 30, son’s girlfriend 23) have all been round for dinner. My son got very upset, him and my husband seem to be the ones finding it the hardest to deal with (suppose its ‘a man thing’). Tonight, I think, was the first time since dx that I’ve felt really angry, not for the fact that I have the cancer, but to see my family hurting, that hurts!
I’ve had a bloody good cry, have pulled myself together and am now looking at the clock thinking ‘this time tomorrow night this cancer will be gone from my body, and I will be on the road to recovery’.
Thank you so much. I really needed you all today. I will keep in touch, to update you and see how you’re progressing. I wish each and everyone of you all the luck with your treatments.
Deana xx
Sending a big cyber hug to you and wishing the very best for tomorrow.
I too am quiet new to this, first chemo next week and have a good cry now & again but getting more and more positive each day - this site helps greatly.
Hi Deana,
Not sure how l would have coped without this forum, so much support! and so good to hear other ladies stories, because at the time you think you are the only one around you that it is happening too.
I was diagnosed in February and after having three ops, and quite a lot of lymph nodes involved, l now have one more chemo at the end of the month then rads, it is all do able.
I was told mine was just a small lump with no lymph nodes involved so the shock of being told things were a ‘little’ worse is as you say like being hit by a sledge hammer, or a train!!
Hope the mastectomy goes as well as it can, you sound like you have a wonderful family around you.
Don’t think any of us feel brave or courageous, just having to deal with something we don’t want!! no other option!
Good Luck
Sending Lots of Hugs and Love
Sandra xxx
Dear Deana,
Sending you a big hug. Will be thinking of you tomorrow andwill send up a little prayer too (hope thats ok). I know it’s been a shock and I know it’s frightening but the op is the first step to fighting this blasted desease. With you’re lovely supportive family I’m sure you’ll make a full and speedy recovery from the op.As the others said one step at a time, one day at a time you’ll get through this.
Love Julie x
Thinking of you today, hope all goes well with your op. I just recently had a mastectomy + reconstruction (4th Sept) and can honestly say I am feeling really well.
Best wishes & hugs to you…
Hi Deana
Sending you a hug and keeping you in my thoughts today. I hope that all goes as well as it can.
I also started this journey expecting a lumpectomy and rads and have everything over and done with in 2/3 months. In fact I have ended up having WLE and ancillary clearance, 6 sessions of chemo, MX and recon and still waiting to start rads 9 months after diagnosis. I think this is the case for many of us and we do manage to get through it and come out the other end. I think that where you are now is the most difficult time as you come to terms with the situation, but once treatment has started you get on to a sort of treadmill and just get on with it.
Good luck.
Jacqui xx
Hi, Deana, I have just noticed you thread so too late to wish you luck. but at least the surgery will be all over for you now, you may be back home by now in the “bosom” of you family.I have a daughter 31 and son 34, my son was the strong one (as far as I was aware) my daughter seemed to take it on the chin but broke down as my OH walked her to her car. she’s fine now though. I new from the start that I would need MX as I had more thane one tumour and all my lymph nodes, so was not given the option of reconstruction and I won’t bother. I am now more than half way through chemo and managing to get on with life. Stay positive and know that you will come out the other side.
Your family will come through for you as mine did. I’m two years from chemo but my kids are similar ages to yours. My daughter was amazing and came during her lunch time every day whilst I was having chemo. My sons just didn’t know how to treat me but brought meals etc.
It’s scary time but you will get through this. Just batten down the hatches for a while and you’ll soon be out the other side.