Hi all. Hope I am posting in the right place!
I used to have family history mammograms for years as my mum had breast cancer in her forties. (She’s in her 70’s now!)
In 2012, I found a lump so was fast tracked. Luckily, that was a cyst which was drained.
I turned 50 last year so have now gone onto the ‘Over 50’s’ programme and had a ‘routine’ mammogram (I am asymptomatic - I think!) a couple of weeks ago.
Was shocked to receive a letter today to ask me to go back next week.
Worried isn’t the word. The letter says 4 in 100 women get recalled, but surely that can only mean one thing? (The letter tries to reassure but it would wouldn’t it?!)
After an awful few years of my brothers premature death, relationship break up etc etc, I finally started to relax and enjoy life and recently even found myself a wonderful new man.
Sorry if I sound morbid but all I can think is that he’ll leave me (wouldn’t blame him!), I won’t see my beautiful daughters marry or see grandchildren. I just want to howl.
Am I being totally over the top?! Sorry. I’m a mess
Hi Honeypot,
I’m 53 and like you, was recalled after a routine mammogram. That week, waiting to go to the clinic was awful and I thought lots of morbid thoughts like you are having, my Grandson is 18 months and I was thinking he will not remember me, and I won’t be around to see my youngest graduate…so I know how you’re thinking! That first letter calling you back is like someone has thrown you a grenade with the pin pulled out! The waiting at this stage is absolutely the worst thing, you don’t know what they are looking at and your mind fills in the gaps with all sorts of dramatic thoughts! I cried everyday until I went to the clinic.
There are lots of reasons that something might show up, including a cyst like you’ve had before. If they do find something, there are lots of excellent treatments and therapies now. Your Mum is your best example that breast cancer is not the end of the world and my second daughters fiancé who is a Dr of Medicinal Chemistry working for GSK says the treatments have come on in leaps and bounds in the last 20 years, and your Mum was treated 30 years ago.
Try not to panic, keep yourself busy, don’t Google too much, as you don’t know what to look at, at this stage and it will just worry you more. The first night was awful and I woke up my husband and one of my daughters! I have been going to bed later than usual, playing games on my iPad, doing some adult colouring books and watching (non medical) documentaries. I don’t lie in either, that way, I have slept fairly well.
Be kind to yourself and you have certainly come to the right place for support and understanding!
Amanda xx
Hi Honeypot, sorry you are going through such a stressful time. I was in exactly the same situation last Dec, called after turning 50, then recalled. They kept telling me it didn’t necessarily mean cancer, and that there can be lots of reasons for calcification (which showed on mine) so you can’t be sure it will be bad news . Unfortunately mine was DCIS but the treatment has been swift and very good and it was caught early so it wasn’t in my lymph nodes and I didn’t need chemo or radiotherapy. Nearly 6 months after my mx and reconstruction now and I have been back at work since May, I’ve joined the gym and am running again and apart from the odd twinge I feel fine. I’m on tamoxifen for 5 years but thankfully not suffering side effects. So even if your results are not what you hope, you will get through it and at least it will have been found, hopefully early. Good luck and let us know how you get on . Nicola x
Nicola and Amanda
Thank you so much for replying and not saying ‘don’t worry!’ Which I suspect most people will say.
I do know quite a few people who have had breast cancer and are doing so well, but in my pessimistic mind, I just fear the worst.
My lovely sister has said she’ll come with me even though it’s her son’s birthday that day (this wednesday )
I have been trying to sleep since 9pm but keep dozing then suddenly waking in a cold sweat.
There’s no one here with me which I’m not sure is good or bad!
Anyway, thank you again. It means a lot to me
I did reply earlier but it seems to have disappeared!
Thanks for asking.
I did sleep but only after taking half a sleeping tablet left over from when I used to do night shifts! I am working a 12hr shift today so couldn’t afford to not sleep.
It’s quite nice being at work as I have other stuff to think/talk about.
My sister contributes to those adult colouring books as she does as a hobby. They are so popular aren’t they?!
Good luck for Wednesday Amanda.
It’s great to hear how well you have done Nicola. Can I ask if you got psychological support throughout? I think I could cope with operations etc but I don’t think I could cope with my morbid, negative thoughts.
Hope you are both having a nice day
Julie x
…she does art as a hobby…
Sorry, missed the ‘art’ word out!
Hi Jobey
Thank you for your post.
What did the clinic say was the reason for your sister & her friends recall? What else did they have to have done?
I haven’t had symptoms but since the letter I keep imagining aches and pains that weren’t there before!
Thanks Nicola
I did go to a ‘reconstruction talk’ with a friend once as she was in two minds whether to have one or not.
It was run by breast cancer nurses and they were so lovely.
I survived my shift and now hope to sleep but have the other half of tablet if I need it.
DD’s are home tonight so not lonely tonight! ?
Sorry to hear you couldn’t sleep well Nicola.
I woke briefly at about 3am but I often do as I think I’ve started to get hot flushes! I hope you managed to drift back off. Is insomnia a well known side effect of tamoxifen?
I’ve started going downhill since I turned 50 but still feel like I’m 30something inside!
Woke up to a nice email from my new man (hard to know what to call him as we are in our 50’s, so ‘boyfriend’ isn’t appropriate. Neither is ‘partner’ as we don’t live together and it’s all still quite new!) who is in Canada with his son.
He is flying home on Wednesday and asked if I’d like to go round there in the evening.
I think I’ll tell him it’s dependant on my appointment that afternoon.
I don’t want to go round and be a crying mess if it’s not good news. I’m pretty sure he’ll have no idea how to console me, especially as his mum died of BC (in her 80’s mind you) just last year.
However, if all is good, I’ll be round there in a flash with a bottle of something nice!
Hi Julie, my sisters mamogram showed a cluster of white specs so they called her back and did another one at the clinic and an ultrasound but they were all clear, my friend did have a biopsy at the clinic but it was just scar tissue, they were told the majority of women recalled are fine Xx
Thank you Jobey
I am getting mentally prepared for more investigations. I am trying hard to not ‘Google’
and sticking to this site!
I hope you are well. What treatment are you having?
I know its so hard not to google but you just worry yourself even more! I was diagnosed in march and have had a lumpectomy and radiotheraphy both of which was fine, im now taking Tamoxifen and am pretty much back to normal, its all a hideous shock but you do get your head around it Xx
Glad to hear you are doing well Jobey.
This waiting is awful but luckily I have sleeping tablets that I used to use after I worked a night shift which knock me out. They are my saviour at the moment!
Hi Nicola
It’s so kind of you to ask.
My mammogram showed an area that the radiographer said whilst didn’t look suspicious needed an ultrasound. It showed a cluster of cysts.
They are deep and asymptomatic so he didn’t aspirate them.
I feel grateful. Lucky. Humble.
I wish you and the other lovely ladies on here all the very best.
You are all so supportive and inspirational.
I hope the Tamoxifen doesn’t cause you too many side effects!