I seem to have anger management issues…
I seem to have anger management issues… joking aside, since I returned to work in Jan 05, after 7 months off work - I seem to have developed anger management issues - and the lack of desire to be ‘part of the team’ anymore.
Has anyone else experienced this? If so - do you have any advice…
When I came back to work - the business was going through a massive re-organisation. My department (ok we’re an HR department) had a teambuilding awayday - and we were doing the ‘I’ve drawn a picture to describe me’ and then talking people through it. There were about 12 of us in total - I didn’t start - in fact I went last - but as each person was going through their picture I was moving further and further back in the room - and it I could have got outside of the room - I probably would have…
And then my fuse at work seems to be extremely short and getting shorter. Is this a product of my bc - and ‘life is too short - so why should I put up with this rubbish?’ Or is this simply a product of age (I’m 43) and we get less tolerant - or is it something else? On a home front, I’ve changed since my bc; I rarely lose my temper - in fact I’m far more likely to laugh something off than let it get to me…
Anyone got any ideas - or am I simply having my mid-life crisis? Any advice or help would be gratefully received - it’s worrying me now…
Izzy
Totally with you Couldnt agree more, since diagnosis have really short fuse at work. I look at them all and think your moaning about your pathetic problems, well try having mine…just cant help it. On the home front pretty relaxed. I guess this disease just teaches us to live in the moment.
Kiwigirl
snap Ive found that my fuse is a lot shorter…it always used to be short…but however now I just havent got a the patience to put up with erm niggly stuff from other peeps. Ive found that petty little problems like hearing ‘i cant get a babysitter for the weekend which means i cant go out with the girls, i havent been out for a week’ does my tree in. Whoopdiidoo, end of the world…omg how are you going to cope…jeesh get a grip. Then its hearing, oh well its alright for you, your husband does loads round the house and isnt sent away anymore…well my answer to that one is I have icky chemo to go through which is why my hubby is doing everything round the house, and I have bc which is why he isnt being sent away for the duration of my treatment…want to swop? Tends to shut them up. I do have a few good friends that are treating me as normal steph and know that i have a short fuse anyway, but they just let my tirades just wash straight over them (shows how much they care bless em) but its the small minded,inconsiderate others that live around here that make me want to go get my big frying pan and go bash them over the head
I can relax now… that I know that it’s not just me…
Thanks :)
Izzy
so agree! agree totally that after what us girls/men been thru with breast cancer l find myself more intolerent.My neighbour makes me want to shake her and scream-most important issue for her is whether her kids win race at swimming or all is lost!!!AGHHHHHHHH.family tell me off when l groan as she appears but really cant help it!!!honest!!!
sharon x
YES, YES, YES!!!
I used to hav e a really big fuse but now mine in teeny tiny and recently decided that I need to address the issue. Have just started reading ‘Anger Management in a Week’, I’m up to Wednesday and have found it very helpful and for the last 2 weeks I haven’t been angry at all and have been able to take a couple of seconds to check myself as I have felt the anger rising. It’s set in the work environment and covers some really interesting areas. I got a used copy (ex Library) from Amazon for £2.75 +pp.
Hope this helps
Becks xxx
I get days when I could quite happily punch people…
Nothing’s worse than finding myself snapping at my 92-year-old mother! I think we all recognise the short fuse syndrome.
Think it is more age related cynicism. When you get to middle age, you resent team building exercises and changes that imply you are in some way dysfunctional or that threaten your current way of working.
When you’ve been subjected to a few of these personal development courses, you realise what an expensive waste of time they usually are. Taking the exercise you mentioned of describing yourself - who, if they have any sense will do anything other than give them a description of the ideal employee and team player? If ever asked to state your worst fault, you have a supply of “faults” that are really virtues, e.g. “Sometimes, I can be a bit of a perfectionist”.
Even people without breast cancer want to scream when posters with slogans like “There is no I in Team” go up around the office.
Stupid Remarks !!! Hi Everyone
Back to work on reduced hours and to-day someone said to me
'Are’nt I the lucky one going home early!! I THINK NOT would love to be doing all my hours than get this Bloody Breast Cancer.
So my day for wanting to Punch Someone.
Janet xx
I havent gone back to work but i am definately intolerant of some people and family for that matter.
One friend is such a misery and quite honestly i have had to withdraw from her a bit or would say something that would not be nice.
I just put it down to anger over getting this disease and a ‘why me’ attitude. without meaning to be like that.
We sat in freinds one evening and they chatted about which decade of our lives has been the best, then they got onto the future and i felt so angry and jealous they could all chat about it as if they were going to live forever.
You can guess what i was thinking ‘will i be here’
I think we have all been fantastic to get as far as we are and its natural to have a attitude prob towards others silly ‘can’t find a babysitter’, so cant go out moans.
Interested in the anger management book, perhaps BCC should do a attitude anger managment course ha!
Ruth
still in a rage Whats wrong with people I wonder. Is it just they are insensitive or maybe just nasty. After reading your posts I cant believe people.
I have had a very tough week, a “friend” I saw this week was nothing but evil to me, ignored me in company , made no attempt to talk to me and then insulted me, I could have punched her.
I have been to the local shop to buy milk and the lady commented on my hair, its about an inch long, saying it looks different when I explained she said" oh you will be ok, dont worry. I said could I have that in writing, I mean what a stupid thing to say, its 2 weeks post treatment and I am not handling myself well at all, I actually want to scream.
Then there was the course leader that gave me a rude introduction to my course, I am not going back. Even though I informed them he said and I quote; you young people are so feeble, why didn’t you attend last week, in front of everyone, I was so inscented.I was in bed with an infection.
All I am trying to do is to get some normality back and live my life abit,but people are so mean, I have had f***king CANCER, not a cold you horrid lot,(the meanies) give me a break!!
So you can see ladies, I have issues of anger too and I know very well where you are all coming from, perhaps we are too polite and we should tell them to get lost.
I hope for a tranquil day tomorrow, thanks for reading and letting me vent,
lots of love
Rosiex
I laughed out loud at what you said cherub… made my Mum laugh too.
I do believe that it’s a mix of age ('fraid so) and the growing intolerance - and the fact that some people don’t know when they’ve had it so good…
And I do think the team spirit (isn’t that a song - oh no - that’s teen spirit - silly me) thing is related… A bit in the ‘why would I want to spend time with these people’ - other than I’m paid to I suppose.
Definitely going to check out the book though…
Thanks - it’s good to know I’m not alone.
Izzy x
Thats me too… …46 so could be age as well…but def lower tolerance levels…even more so now after losing my friend to BC last week and attending her funeral on monday…husband got man flu at mo…but has to give the sound effects to go with it [ohh,] and facial expressions too…don’t doubt he feels ill…but my friend never moaned once through her illness…and the i go into town and you get the ''got any spare change love ‘’ from man sent on blanket looking quite healthy…wanted to yell ''get off your backside and sort yourself out ‘’…go into work and one girls 11 wks pregnant…thought she would be different and get on with it…oh no…i feel a bit sicky…[i know morning sickness isn’t pleasent]…i’m finding it difficult to get up for 8am now…etc., MY GOD YOUR ONLY PREGNANT…at least the sickness is going to be followed by a happy event!!!
Sometimes don’t speak to people at all cos if i did i’d go mad…think i need the book too!!!
karen
HI Karen
I was pregnant and having chemo, so my level of tolerance with people moaning about their sickness, tiredness etc is ZERO!
The book is very good. I have been able to realise that I was heading for an angry moment and stopped it. Must get around to reading Thursday to Saturday soon just to see what happens.
Becks xxxxx
Becks… …just read your profile…you certainly had alot to face at what should of been a happy time…well done on coming through that time and giving birth to a healthy baby…
karen x