ok folks,time to leap in.
Diagnosed on 23/12. Although devastating news I thought I would be fine as my mum had breast cancer three times (yes it is possible) and fought it all three times. I am 45 with two girls aged 14 and 10. I have been told I will have chemo first to shrink the lump (currently 3cm) and then surgery. Just going through all the tests at the moment (bone scan, CT and MRI). I get a little worried looking at the above as I seem to be having the works thrown at me and not sure if that is good or bad. I do know I am lucky to live in one of the best areas for breast cancer treatment so maybe that’s it.
Trying to keep really positive but sometimes its really hard. Perhaps this will help me to talk through some stuff that I can’t really do with those closest to me for fear of upsetting them aswell. The waiting is the hardest, dont know what grade etc or when Chemo will start. Most times I do well but on days like today when I have been for the bone scan I get really down, reading things into the face of the nurse who seemed to be really cheery with me before the scan but not so afterwards! Guess I will just have to get used to all that.
On the positive, great husband, great kids, really supportive friends/family, work very supportive and my hair is really short so not much to loose!
Sorry you have to join us but sure you’ll find plenty of help and support here.
In a horrid way, your mum must be an inspiration for you. My mum had it 5 yrs almost to the day I was diagnosed, plus her twin sister almost 20 yrs ago, her older sister a couple of months after me and her cousin - all still here to tell the tale so that’s hope for me even though I’m much younger - 44 now, 42 at diagnosis. Know what you mean about reading things into faces or remarks that are made. I was diagnosed July 07, chemo first, then surgery, then rads and hormone therapy - it’s all gone surprisingly quickly !! Am still off work but hey, it’s a new lifestyle.
No kids but great partner, family and actually newer friends - it’s surprising who sticks by you and appears from the past to support you. Hair loss didn’t bother me - I regarded it as the chemo being in my body and working - it’s now back curlier than before and about 5-6 inches long if it were straight. First post-treatment cut at end of the month !!
Good luck and hope you find helpful info here that’s not too scary.
Jmmb1892 - My lump is about 3cm but it is fast growing and agressive. I had a mammagram, ultrasound and biopsy all on the same day as they did not like what they had seen. Then I had a bone scan. My hubby Tom came into the bone scan with me which the nurse did not seem to happy about to start with. but then she got Tom up, took him over to the screen and showed him my insides. Next came the CT scan which Tom was not aloud into. The nurses to left the room and spoke to me on a speaker form another room.
The bone scan said it would take 7 to 10 days for the results. the ct scan said the results were available there and then for my dr to view online or it would be a week to get the written results from the ct scan staff. the ct scan was the friday before xmas. my breast care nurse called me xmas eve with the results.
As my lump is fast growing and because I have had problems with my nipple for the last few years my dr is booking me straight in for a masectomy later on this month. then I will be having chemo.
so we have quite a few things in common including the oversensitive relatives. I have had to tell mine to back off. the last thing I need is for crying relatives coing round tot he house full of sympathy. it is definately something that I do not want my daughters subjected to.
I know its hard but try and look at the positives. thats they way I am dealing with it. anytime you want to talk you know where I am
Welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you’ll get lots of support from your fellow forum users. BCC offer numerous ways in which to support you through this ‘journey’ and you can find out more by following the ‘Support for you’ tab at the top of this page for information on publications and information days etc. If you want to know more about any of BCC’s services then please do ask. The helpline is also there for you if you need a good ‘listening ear’, the staff are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. Calls to the helpline are free, open Mon to Fri 9am - 5pm and Sat 9am - 2pm, 0808 800 6000.
I have put for you below the link to one of BCC’s publications, our Resource Pack, an A5 folder full of useful information, hints and tips. All publications are free, so to obtain a copy just follow the link and one will be posted out to you.
Hello newforest mum,
Just jumpinh in here. I run a support group in Hampshire, you are very welcome. We have a thread under ‘younger women’ called STARS.
Thanks for the replies,wasn’t sure whether to log back on tonight but reading the comments above helps we know that I am not on my own and you will know exactly how I am feeling at the moment. Hopefully this will help me sleep a bit better tonight. On my own for the first time since the diagnosis (husband is working nights) but as you all say the world can’t stop we have to just get on with it. His work is also very supportive but he can’t be here all the time as we have a long road ahead. I know he will however be there whenever I do need him. Kids back at school tomorrow so life will have some kind of structure again and a useful distraction from brooding about what might be.
I am still going into work at the moment as I haven’t actually started any treatment. I really enjoy my job , so whilst | can I will go in but the long working days are already a thing of the past and will be even when I have beaten this.
I think it is important to carry on as normally as possible when you can, but it will be good to know I can come here and be with like minded souls.
ok I am now on the next rung of the ladder. I have today had a call giving me the dates of my pre-op assessment and the operation date itself
The pre-op is 15-1-09
The first op appt they offered me was 19-1-09 but that is my youngest daughters 12th birthday, so they have now offered me 22-1-09
Question how will I be after the op? only it is my lots gym gala on 23+24+25 Jan and I want to go and watch. Tom thinks I will be far to ill to go and watch.
But if I have had the op on Thursday would I not be able to go and watch on the Sun? Tom could drive me to the door, I would then just have to walk in and sit down and watch the show
What are my chances of seeing the show live rather than on video?
Don’t worry about having the works thrown at you. It seems to vary a bit region to region. My view is, the more they do the better. It doesn’t mean you’re in big trouble, it just means they’re being thorough.
Newforestmum, I just got my post op results and I also have 3cm, fast growing and aggressive, but we got it all out. I don’t need to go back for mastectomy because of where it is, and it was easy to get out, but I’ll be joining you for chemo, rad, and 5 years of tamoxifen starting end of the month. Won’t that be fun!
I reckon you could probably go watch the show, if they let you out, but you might be in for a few days with a mastectomy. Give the Breast Cancer nurse and call and ask. You could always argue for the healing powers of fresh air and exercise.
spoke to breast care nurse today and its good news about the girls gym gala
nurse said I will have op on Thurs stay overnight and I should be out by say 10-11ish in the morning. She cannot see any reason why I should not be able to go and watch the gala on Sunday.
just got back from making an appointment at the hairdressers
so saturday the long curly hair is going and I am putting my trust in my hairdressers to give me a short, trendy, bright new style.
I have a facebook account/page and I have decided to keep a photo diary of my progress/illness on there
in my opinion if people are going to stare as I loose my hair when the chemo starts in Feb/Mar lets give them something to stare at now and have a bit of fun at the same time.
was thinking about adding pink, purple or red but when I spoke to hairdressers they said pink and purple don’t last very long so it will probably have some some bright red in it somewhere
Good for you Lisa! I’m in denial and holding on to my long hair for as long as possible. Maybe I’m just tight, too, because I don’t feel I want to spend a load of money on a hairdo that will fall out within weeks. However, I will do something about it soon.
I like the facebook idea, I’m on there too can I add you?
Great news about the gym gala! The red sounds good too. I’ll be starting chemo at the end of the month, but I thought I’d keep my hair till then, then have a shot at being my own hairdresser when it starts coming out. I mean, on Bourne Identity when she needs to be disguised, he just snips away, and bam, designer haircut. If he can do it so can I! It’s not like I won’t have a hat or two ready to cover up my amateur mistakes. On the otherhand, look out world, there could be a new, global supremo on the hair design front!
just an update…off to centre parcs for a couple of days r and r with hubby (my last indulgence before chemo). KIds are coming up for one day but the rest is our to pig out and forget things for a couple of days. On a postive at the moment. Still waiting for results of the scans…still got MRI to go next week. Really worried about what the results might be but working on the basis that there is nothing I can do about that at the moment.
I have been really spurred on by the reaction at work. I am a senior police officer so have a lot of staff who know me. It is amasing how many come out of the woodwork and say either that they had cancer and have got over it or that they have partners who have done the same. Every positive story helps and it just goes to show how people fight it and just get on with life afterwards. You only seem to hear the bad news stories but it shows there are so many good news stories out there.
Inspiration to us all no doubt.
Julie
PS having had short hair for 23 years (almost compulsory if you are a police officer) I can actually recommend it…easy to wash/dry, save a fortune in treatments and appratantly it takes years off you.
Good luck with the op Lisa and enjoy your daughter’s birthday as well!
julie - you’re right - its really surprised me and reassured me just how common it all is…does anyone know if there are any facebook groups - or do you add as friends??
hope you have a great weekend Julie, I am really quite jealous. You’re right about people coming out of the woodwork. I was talking to someone the other day and mentioned that I had just been diagnosed, she then went on to tell me that her mum had the same op as me but in Sept 08 and she is now having chemo. Today at work a client was waiting to see my boss and starting telling us that he had cancer and has already had chemo and is having a major op next week to remove his tumour.
Kittenkat I joined a breast cancer awareness site on facebook but I am happy to add people to my facebook as friends
Message to Jmmb 1892 This is the first time I have signed on, but I saw your messages and had to reply - I too was diagnosed on 23/12, am 46, have a son aged 12, have always had short hair, I have am having chemo first followed by surgery - so we seem to have a lot in common already!! I work for a local authority and went back to work after the holidays and I too got a lot of strength out of it with the support and positive stories. It really does seems that most people have friends or family who have got through BC successfully.
I found out yesterday which chemo I am having (FEC) and so was told the most likely side effects. The hair loss does not really bother me but the sickness does, but was relieved to hear they give you anti-sickness drugs these days which in most cases are very effective.
The worst part was not knowing how far the cancer had spread and waiting for the test results now I have cancer in the breast and lymph gland I feel much stronger as I know what I am dealing with. I just want to get on with fighting the fight now! Am due to start chemo on 20 Jan. In the meantime I am carrying on as ‘normal’ and going to work. Feeling positive most of the time but it does seem hard at times
Good luck with your test results and chemo and good luck to everyone else about to start chemo. It is good to feel that I am not on my own.
had my hair cut today. arrived at hairdressers at 11:15 and did not leave until 15:00. I love my new hair cut. Went for slashes of red in the end. No more pony tails for me. If you have facebook I had added some before and after pictures on there
Nice to know I am not alone in the chemo first route. Found out that someone at work had it this way as well and am hoping to meet up with her soon as she wants to give me some tips re wigs etc!!!
Got an appt with the chemo nurse on 15th and they said they would give me my treatment dates at that appt. I think I will also be strating next week. At the moment I am down for 4 doeses of Epirubicin and Cyclosophosphamide (or something like that), followed by four more of Docetaxel. I will ask on Thursday what all that means but the piece of paper I have listed all the ususal, hair loss, vomitting etc. I gather though that it is very much down to the individual.
Had a good chat with my Occ health unit doctor on Friday. He put it quite clearly…this year is about repairing my body, putting myself first for a change (quite alien to most of us!) and avoiding stress wherever possible. Easier said than done but good philosophy to follow if you can.
Centre parcs was execellent and just what we needed. May be the last break for a while though.
