I want my brain back

I want my brain back

I want my brain back I’m sure that the treatment for bc has fried my brain cells. Chemo and tamoxifen have a lot to answer for, and it’s just not funny anymore.

I’m back at work now, been back six weeks on a graduated return, not quite full-time yet, but almost.

I’m finding, though, that my thought processes are an awful lot slower than they used to be and my memory is shot to hell. I sometimes forget what I’m saying mid-way through saying it! I couldn’t remember the words “rest room” the other day. I ended up saying “you know, that place we sit to eat lunch”. We have timed targets at work and I don’t think I’ve got a cat in hell’s chance of ever meeting them again.

Help!!! Is it always going to be like this, or will I get back to normal eventually? If I ever was normal in the first place*lol*.

Hi I’m 3 years post-diagnosis, having had chemo and Tamoxifen (which continues) and I still have the odd ‘senior moment’, though it’s a lot better than it was just after I finished treatment. I can particularly relate to forgetting what things are called and having to describe them!

thanks gandalf at least I know it’s not just me. Don’t you find people look at you as though you’re completely mad?? Those “senior moments” I’ve recently heard referred to as “craft” moments. “Can’t remember a f****** thing” *lol*

I’m just the same I’m finding life really tough at work. I’m a primary school teacher. I started a phased return in December and have been full time since middle of January.

I regularly sit in front of my class of 8/9 year olds and forget what i’m talking about! Luckily the children are good about it. I explained to them why it happens and tell them about some of the silly things i have said. I too have forgotten really simple words and sometimes say the completely wrong word.
Talking about the new gas fire i was ordering, i said “I’m sorting the fire brigade out tomorrow”. I’ve caused much hilarity at home.
Until a month or so ago, i couldn’t even do a simple mental calculation - a bit of a draw back for a teacher!

But the serious side is that i forget admin tasks i’m supposed to do and i’m constantly looking for bits of paper i’ve mislaid. Everything seems to take me so much longer and i can’t sustain my concentration.
I keep hoping things will get better but i just seem to get further and further behind!

Me too I too have chemo brain. I lose words now and again and have to depend on a calendar to remember to go to appointments and take my daughter to out-of-school activities.

But it doesn’t stop me learning new things, in fact I’m finding learning new things much easier than before.

Anyone else had this experience? Might it be that while some nerve connections in our brains have been broken it gives us an increased opportunity to make new connections?

Best wishes,


P.S. The word I keep forgetting is ‘microlyte’.

— I couldn’t remember — ‘those planes that fly with things that go round and round and the plane goes upwards’. It was a helicopter.

I think I would worry if I didn’t forget things now - sort of got used to it!

Joy xxx

Maths lesson I really lost it today! I was demonstrating to my class how to add 59 and 77 using a number line. I demonstrated beautifully and came up with the answer 18. Sadly none of the children noticed. I had to point out that i’d subtracted instead of added. They thought it was hilarious!


tell me about it… … so often losing the words and sitting there rambling on like an idiot in front of some poor soul.

Told my Onc that i think they extract the brain cells as the drugs are injected in. Said he’ll check lost property, but doesn’t think they’ll be there…

Brain fade and lack of driving skills Been reading the various threads on loss of concentration, lack of confidence with driving etc with a lot of interest.
I’m not having chemo - but I’ve noticed a lot of the same sort of stuff going on in my head too.
But here’s a question for you.
I first began to feel uncertain about driving in October. Around that time I also went through a rather disturbing lack of confidence at work and I’m still struggling to understand whether I want to change direction or not. And I’ve been having trouble with my memory for the same period of time.
The thing is this - it was October when I found the lump. I really didn’t think I had a problem - I was absolutely sure it was not malignant - I’ve been through the tests twice before and felt certain it would be the same again this time. Even the doctors at the hospital thought there was nothing untoward about my lumps. I wasn’t diagnosed until January. I could understand the shock factor from the actual diagnosis having this affect on my brain - but why did I seem to begin to crumble back in October?

Oh! If lost property reveals any brain cells - please note a few of them are mine!