We know from statistics about our discussion forums that many of you just read the site and never post. We would like to find out a bit more about your reasons for this. Could we trouble you to send us a quick email at the address below telling us if
You are happy just reading and not posting
Or, if you would like to post, what puts you off
All responses will be treated in strictest confidence and will help us develop the forums into the future.
I am very careful what I post as I know that my ex-partner spends his time Googling his exes and their lives, and I don’t want him to know how traumatic my daughter (who isn’t his daughter) is finding all this.
Irina
Have had my messages read & thrown back at me by a third party, I’ll never feel able to be completely open on this forum until the google loopholes and such are closed
Although I am a frequent poster and do give quite a lot of what other people would consider private info away, it is a real concern that you can just google and find my posts really easily.
I was quite upset when I found out that my family were looking at this site for information about me. I wasn’t deliberately witholding info from them but sometimes I needed to process the info given to me and get ideas off other posters before I talked to them.
I do feel inhibited sometimes in the secondary forum as I’m aware that some newly diagnosed women do look at these threads and then regret it. I know I did that after I was first diagnosed and got really upset about a young lady with small children who had just posted that she had weeks to live. Curiosity got the better of me but it really shook me up. I know people have free choice whether to look there or not but when I’m really low, I can not post on this site as I don’t want others who have not reached my stage to read it but know these people in that part of the forum are the ones who could help me. It would help me if we could have a mini private secondary area as i feel it is important that people know that there is life after secondary diagnosis so a totally closed forum would be of no help to people who do want to know about secondaries but at the same time I really need to rant/cry in a private forum where others have that sort of experience. That is the reason why I like the specific secondary live chat as I feel I can say how i feel without upsetting anybody without that diagnosis.
Kate
I mostly dont post for the same reason given by others, confidentiality, I am very worried that personal thoughts and emotions and fears can be read by the whole of the WWW, thats scary, I have often started a post when Ive felt at my lowest and then deleted it and not posted as Ive thought, do I really want the world and his wife to read this? Its a shame as really the only people who can understand what we are going through is each other, but saying that I do get a lot of reassurance and info by just reading others posts
I think there are quite a few of us with mets who like Kate would like a private secondaries forum…I post to try and help others who are about to start treatments I’ve had or who have just been given the same diagnosis as me but I would not post for any help myself…for the confidentiality reasons others have already mentioned here.
I read but don’t post anything about myself, I have replied to a few posts but don’t feel comfortable posting when I know anyone can read the posts…it needs to be a closed forum that can’t be googled.
Also there are a couple of posters who IMO are just down right rude and this puts me off starting any threads
It is quite clear reading these posts that different types of forums suit different people. When bcpals was started it was realised very soon that there was a need for a private forum where members posts could not come up on google searches, and where we try to ensure that family members and friends do not pursue members. Of course there is a downside to that - we don’t welcome ‘read only’ users.