Im more scared than Mum !!!

My mother has just had a lumpectomy and now has to have a mastectomy. She will receive Chemo and radiotherapy also. I am really scared for her and what lies ahead in the coming months.

What will she be facing. I just really don’t know what lies ahead my mum has only me and I just Hope I can be the strength she needs. Just really wanting to know how it will be x

Hi, when I was about 38 and my mum was 61 (15 yr ago now) she had to have a mastectomy then radiotherapy. It will obviously depend on what sort of person your mum is and how you both deal with it but after the initial shock and me and my mum having a good talk - me explaining to her that it doesn’t mean she is going to die then she got on with it and very rarely did she let it get her down. Yes the operation isn’t easy (I know as I have had one too in March) but it isn’t as bad as you think it is going to be and you can live a normal life afterwards. My mum didn’t have chemo and went on to live till she was 72 - and didnt die of breast cancer. Chemo I can speak of personally as I am going through it at the minute…again it isn’t as bad as you think it is going to be and there is lots of support from nurses/oncologists etc. After having 4 sessions out of 8 I somtimes feel tired but so far have had no sickness - you are given lots of drugs to counteract the side effects. I have lost my hair but again I don’t let this get to me and have a very nice wig - I think my mum would have found this bit hard to cope with as she was quite proud of her looks and always wanted to look her best. I am sure you will be a strength to her as you have already posted on this site -How old is your mum and will you be going to her appointments with her? I always went with my mum and we did have quite a nice time together. Just be yourself try to treat her normally and ask lots of questions from the surgeon and breastcare nurse and I am sure you will get through this next 6 months or so. I personnlly have decided that this year is dedicated to getting myself better then next year really living it up! Please feel free to ask me any questions as I aslo have a sister who has breast cancer so do have a fair amount of info.
XX

Hi Kim,

I’m sorry yuor Mum has been diasgnosed the BC. My Mum was diagnosed in August last year and went on to have 7 sessions of chemo, then a lumpectomy and 4 weeks ago had a mastectomy as there were further pre-cancerous cells found. She is yet to find out whether or not she has to have radiotherapy, but if not will start a course of herceptin.

I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m 26 and like you, it is just my Mum and I in our family. I’m very lucky in that my boyfriend’s family have also been a great support, but generally Mum and I deal with things just ourselves together.

I always wanted people to be honest with me when I was writing on here, so I think it is only fair. There are many types of chemo so it will vary, but for us the chemo was the hardest part. You hear about chemo and when it’s being done, don’t imagine how it will affect the person, but unfortunately the side effects are pretty nasty - nausea, tiredness, sore mouth and amongst other things, obviously hair loss. There are many ways that they will try to help reduce all of these for your Mum, but because the drugs are so strong (so as to get rid of the evil cells) they do have an effect.

But the main thing is, it’s do-able. Yes, the initial days were tough, but with positive thinking and strength between you, you can get through it. It can be hard when you are feeling low, but there is lots of support available.

I hope I haven’t made you feel worse, I just think I felt safer knowing what was happening. For me the fear was in the unknown. Do come on here to chat if you ever want to. It is a real comfort to speak to other people in a similar position to you.

Michelle.

Firstly I would like to thank you both for your comments and your honesty. I am feeling a bit more prepared and informed for what lies ahead for mum although I know each individual will react differently during this time. It’s just i sometimes think mum see’s me as her “wee girl” when infact I am 36 and tries not to burden me with any worries. It’s reassuring that I don’t feel like this alone and am blown away by the words of encouragement and support on this site.

I am in no doubt this is where I will have to air all my feelings over the coming months. I take real strength from both you girls and will look forward to updates on you progress.

Many Many thanks
Kim