Hi im new to all of this so please bare with me ,
im having my 4th chemo this friday, and geting more anxious, i had diep reconstruction and they done other breast same time, was told that i didnt need chemo or radio, but my breast tissue results said different, and having 6 chemos and then got 5weeks radio, chemo has been worse than having surgery for me, i feel like iv been striped of everything, even my personality, each chemo has braught different side effects, the worse being iv got 2 small blood clots in chemo arm, and last chemo was so painfull and the worst for bringing me down mentely, now on antidepesants and finding it harder to cope with, i just want my life back and be my usual happy self…
xx
Dear sunshine lilly
It sounds like you are having a really tough time, in addition to the support here please feel free to call our helpliners, it may help to have some one to one support whilst you are finding it hard to cope and they are here to help you through this, the lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2 on 0808 800 6000
Take care
Lucy
Hi Sunshine Lilly. Chemo can be awful Hun, it can really knock you about as you’ve discovered. Have you got support from your family and friends? It’s an awful thing to try to cope with, give the helpline a call and chat to them, I know a lot of people on here have found them really helpful. Chemo attacks you physically and mentally, but you will get yourself back eventually. Just hang on in there, talk to your chemo team and breast care nurse if you haven’t already, and keep asking for help until they find something which works for you. Hopefully someone with more practical advice will be along in a bit, really I just wanted to say ‘yes, I know, but hang on in there, it DOES get better…’
Chemo is not nice but is a necessary evil. It makes us better.
After my first chemo I ended up in hospital with cellulitus (12days)and on my last one (6th) I was neutropenic and in hospital for 10 days.
This was only last year but sometimes it seems like ages ago
Its an emotional rollercoaster with more downs than ups but believe me it does get better
You just have to live with it
Barbara
Hi sunshine Lilly
I am guessing if you have just had your 4th chemo you started in December - there is an active thread for people who started chemo in December, people sharing their thoughts, tips and experience and I am sure they would welcome you if you want to join their thread.
I finished chemo 5 weeks ago and I am currently having rads - I feel so much better and mentaily stronger now I am over the chemo phase, still physically tired towards the end of the day but nothing compared to the chemo effects. By comparison, rads is a walk in the park! I guess what I am trying to say is that chemo is really tough but once it is done, your body will start to get over it and you will feel so much better.
Sending you virtual hugs and hang on in there.
Jayne x
Hi Sunshine Lilly
I had a massive wobbly after my 4th chemo. Decided enough was enough and that I was not going to have any more poison put into me. I too said that I just wanted my life back, wanted to be back in control of my own body. I posted on my August chemo thread and my chemo chums helped me through. The chemo nurses were also excellent. Tell them how you feel and they will support you. Chemo strips you bare. Nothing is untouched and nothing you have ever been through feels as bad as this. It is relentless. I had my 6th dose at the end of November and finished rads mid January. I am now growing hair, eyelashes, have rosy cheeks and the bags under my eyes are almost gone. At the time of having chemo you cannot see an end to it. There is never a day where you do not feel rough. You hate looking at yourself in the mirror, cannot go places as you don’t want to catch anything and get sick of the sight of a cabinet full of medicines but you will get to the other side, I promise. I can honestly say that I grieved for my old self during treatment, just wanted it all back as it was. The innocence before the diagnosis. It’s a great feeling when normality starts to come back. It now feels as though it happened to someone else, its bizarre. You will dig deep, as I did, and complete your treatment. Short term pain for long term gain is how my chemo nurse explained it. I am glad I completed it now.
Good luck.
mandyj.xx
thankyou for your comments everyone…so nice to hear that you have come through the other side…I relate to everything you say and it’s still early days for me. Hang on in there sunshine Lilly. xxxx
thanks jayne
finaly had chemo, they rang to say my bloods were to low may have to delay, had more bloods and 5hrs later had chemo, my whole body just feels like one big bruise.
glad to here your feeling much better, been wondering about radio, here so many things, sounds like your doing ok gives me a bit of reasurance.
stay strong, thanks for virtual hugs they were much needed
xx
thanks to all, xxxxxxxx
hi mandyj
you explained exacley how i feel, wished id used this site earlier, but anyway, so reashoring to here your through the other side and feeling back to your oldself, i cant wait! feeling bit more hopefull.
this fourth chemo has hit hard on my body feel like iv been hit by a bus, but 4down and 2 to go, thank you for your support xxx
thanks Ali
overwhelmed how much better you can feel just geting some feed back i wished id been on here earlier, well its never too late, thankyou, just speaking to people that really know how your feeling xxx
Hi Sunshine Lilly,
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. Yes the chemo is horrid but you will get out the other side like so many of us. I finished 6 sessions 4 weeks on thursday start my radiotheraphy on 25th. Keep posting on here its such a benefit to read that others are going through it too. At times I dont know what I would have done without this site. Take care you will soon be done Lots of love xxxx