Hello everyone, I’m Rach and I’m new to this site.
I’ve just come home today after a mammoth 2 hour session at the breast clinic today. I found a painful lump under my right breast about 4 months ago. After a course of antibiotics ruled out an infection, I went to see my GP, and she referred me to the breast clinic at my local hospital.
I’ve been through the mill today. I an examination which showed I had thickened breast tissue, not just in the place where I found the lump, but also in my upper breast as well, which now I think about it, has always been tender. I then had a mammogram, an ultrasound followed immediately by 4 core biopsies on my breast. I was treated with nothing but sympathy, compassion and professionalism. I was also asked to have a further needle test on my upper breast, but by this time I had had enough… my other half and youngest daughter had waited long enough… I did say I would go back
I am a Mum of 2 girls, aged 2 and 11, and engaged to their Dad, my soul mate, who is terrified, although he doesn’t show it. He works nights, and I work mornings as a carer.
I was told I would be contacted as soon as the results had come through, possibly as early as this Friday, if not, early next week.
I am in a huge amount of pain now the local anaesthetic has worn off, I’m SO bruised and battered, but I know this will pass - it’s just bruising. I am, however terrified. I have ongoing depression and anxiety, and I have done my best to keep a lid on it all day, but now…
I almost feel like I don’t have a right to post here. So many people are far worse off than I am, so I feel like a bit of an intruder…
If anyone wants to reply, then I’d be so grateful - I’ve NEVER felt so scared and alone…
Rach x x
Hi Rach
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site who I am sure will be along soon to offer you that support. Anything you need to know there’s always someone with some knowledge and experience. Along side this there’s our helpline team who are just a free phone call away to help you through. 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Rach, you really have been through the mill x I cannot say much other than this is the very worse time the not knowing, you are in pain, scared and having to wait for results it dosent get much worse honestly ! I had the same experience when I found my lump the pain after was dire after all the teste etc and then the weeks wait for results, unfortunately mine was cancer and I have finished my treatment, just, and am awaiting my open access appointment next week , you must remember that not all lumps are cancerous but it sounds like your Dr/hospital is on the ball as results by friday is very good hun fingers x they come through for you and you dont have to join us on here but IF and I mean IF you do you will find plenty of support from the wonderful ladies on this forum, and please dont feel you shouldnt post here that is what this forum is all about helping each other through all this rubbish 
I wish you all the very best and please let us no how you get on xx
Hello Rach,
Do not feel alone ! We are all here to support you and help with any questions you may have. The waiting is the worse and yes you will scare yourself if you google anything so just keep to this site for the time being. I would possibly ask if you could have a few diazepam from your GP to keep you calm. That way you will not feel so overwhelmed. Focus on your little girls and enjoy the funny things they do and say. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes for Friday. love Tracy xxx
Hi Rach
never feel bad about coming on here I was diagnosed with BC and found lots of support on here the waiting game is the worst you will get through it and try to stay positive. I hope you do not need to join us but if you do know we are all in the same boat and there is a welcome here and remember you will not be alone.
Lots of hugs
Jan
Of course you have a right to post on here…that’s what BCC is for…congrats to you for going to your GP in the first place and having the courage…for that’s what it is…to go to the Breast Clinic…I found the whole thing nerve shattering last year…I have since finished all active treatment…apart from tamoxifen…try to look on this as the first step in getting this thing sorted out and everything…if there is anything.following… to getting back to full health…as tracy says…your doc could poss give you something to calm you down…mine did…and I needed them at the time…sending you and yours a massive hug and positivity for Friday…let us know how you go on pls…
You are not alone. No-one should consider themselves an intruder on here. We all support each other. There is no heirarchy - no-one is iller than anyone else. We love good news, when people’s results come back better than they dared hope, but we are also here for those who’s world seems to have fallen apart.
I remember so well that feeling of having ‘been through the mill’ with mammograms, ultrasound and core biopies. I got a recall from a routine mammo - and I went on my own, convinced it was just that they needed better pictures.
I don’t know how I managed to drive 30 miles home through the tears - even though, at that point I still didn’t know it WAS cancer - though being introduced to a Breast Cancer Care Nurse probably should have triggered more alarm bells than it did. I think I was already on shock-overload at that point. Couldn’t take any more in, so I fully understand your saying ‘enough’.
The biopsy bruising will ease off in a week or so, but in the meantime take painkillers. It’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do, but try not to worry too much. Whatever your lumps turn out to be, fretting now won’t change anything - but will just wear you out. I spent the week imaginging every possible senario from “Everything’s fine” to imminent death and everything in between. Don’t do it! Be hopeful, but prepare yourself for bad news.
If it DOES turn out to be cancer you will be given a treatment plan straight away and will be on your way to getting rid of it. Breat cancer treatments are improving all the time. Everyone on here will confirm that the waiting part is absolutely the worst. Once you know what you are dealing with you have something positive to get on with.
Please don’t google - you will scare yourself to death - much of what is on the internet is either out of date or just plain wrong! Stick to reputable sites like this one and Macmillan, but even then, restrict your reading to the stage you are at. No need to think about chemo yet, you MAY never need it. Also secondaries may not ever be something you need to think about. I read too much and it made my wait SO much worse!
Everyone is different, but I did find it helped me to talk about my worries with family, friends and (selected) colleagues. It’s amazing when you mention BC, how many people have come through it, years ago, and you never knew they’d had it.
Thinking of you and hoping you get good news when you get your results. Don’t forget to come back and tell us how you got on, as I said we love good news and can help support you if it’s not so good.
Be gentle with yourself. xx
Hope you feel better soon. I go for my first appointment Monday and dreading it to be honest but just want it out the way now so I can deal with it if it is bad news.
Have prepared myself for the worst as when I had it 14 years ago I was totally unprepared and I think that was the worst feeling ever not knowing a thing about it. Lets hope it is good news for us both x x
Thanks, Jo for your kind welcome…
Am so tired now, my brain and body have had enough shocks, so I’ll try and get some sleep, and bob back on tomorrow.
Rach x x
Blimey - I have to get used to this site! Replied to Jo, and all of your responses popped up all of a sudden!
Thank you, all of you for your lovely messages to a person that you don’t even know - it means a lot to me.
I finally broke down earlier, having finally got my 2 girls to bed. I needed a shower to get rid of the ‘hospital’ smell, and I had to get my wonderful husband-to-be to get my dressing off my breast - it was soaked in blood - and help me put a fresh one on. I cried like a baby, and he finally admitted that he is just as scared as I am.
It seems silly because until I get the results, there’s no point in being scared, is there? I’ve always been the strong one. I’ve had a lot to deal with in my 39 years, but this has hit me head on…
I’m on the maximum dose of Mirtazipine for anxiety and depression, so I can’t take anything else, so I’m going to take those, and some more ibuprofen and hope that I can just sleep this horrible day off. Tomorrow is another day, little one (nearly 2) has a horrible cold, on top of her boring day waiting for Mum at the hospital, so I’m hoping that Calpol and some baby Vicks will help her sleep… she had me up half of last night as well. My eldest (nearly 12) has been told what’s going on, and she is upset, but I’ve told her that she’s her mothers daughter, and we will meet this head on.
Just so tired now… thank you again for your posts, and I’ll be back tomorrow.
Wishing you all a good nights sleep,
Rach x x
please try not to worry too much…I know the waiting part is hard and it makes your mind work overtime but worrying wont help you or your lovely family in the long run…the fact that you will be getting results very soon tells you that your consultants are well on the ball like mine were…I had tests on the 27th sept (remember it well was my nieces 7th b-day ) and by the 3rd of october I was given the news unfortunately for me it was BC but as I have said its all been dealt with very quickly had a lumpectomy and lmyph nodes removed on the 1st Nov and now I am about to start chemo so they dont hang about once they know what they are dealing with especially as they said at my age I am quite young to have got this I am 36…I would say to you is keep yourself busy as much as you can during this waiting period so you havent got time to over think and take each day as it comes…you will have good and bad days but thats normal,we all have them and it could be the smallest thing that sets it off like for me my mobile phone breaking down got me in the mode that everything was going wrong…but then I thought sod it I am allowed to have an off day every now and then ! Please dont feel like an intruder on here as we are all here to help and support one another,I have my fingers crossed for you that it is good news…if ever you do need a bit of support you now know where to come 
big hugs to you xxxx
Shelley x
Hi, i hope you are sleeping right now so won’t read this for a while.
I just wanted to suggest that its better to take paracetamol/acetominaphen for pain rather than ibuprofen for the first 48 hours, especially if you are bleeding, cos ibuprofen, aspirin and other anti-inflammatory meds can thin blood and prolong bleeding post-procedure.
I also found cold therapy very useful for the pain, bruising and swelling, and spent a couple of days after my biopsy with an ice pack stuck to my boob!
Lets hope you find it is nothing to worry about, but it is so scary awaiting those initial results, to be honest you put yourself through all the possible worst case scenarios, that when you get the results its almost a relief to know what you ARE dealing with!
Thank you, ladies… you are so supportive - I’m glad I found this place… (((HUGS)))
I’m feeling a bit better physically today - my poor boob still looks like I have 2 nipples, and I am still so sore and bruised, but managed to find one of my old maternity support tops, and made it out of the house to go and see the lady I care for!
I think that people, ie close friends and family, are just expecting me to collapse in a heap, and write myself off, but that’s never been the way I do things. I did all that when I first posted on here, and was in a whole world of fear, pain and the unknown. You lovely ladies have helped me get past that stage now, made me feel that my fear was normal and to be expected, so now whatever I’m dealing with, I will deal with head on.
I am still so very scared. I can’t lie about that. But I have a life to get on with, and one thing I’ve always said is that where there is life, there is hope. I’ve heard nothing from the hospital today, but that’s ok, the lovely Dr that did the biopsies did say that it could be next Monday or Tuesday, so that gives me the whole weekend to try not to blooter my eldest daughter for being the gobby pre-teen that she is, deal with my youngest who’s 2 next weekend, and maybe sit on my bum for about half an hour if I’m lucky! My other half is still on a huge run of nightshifts, so until he gets a day or two off, I’m like a single Mum… never mind, I’m used to it…
I’m just so tired with it all, or my brain is… the worry, going from naked terror to anger to numbness… the depression and anxiety that is always there… but I can’t shut down now, and I won’t let myself. Maybe, as some of you have said, once I get a result, I will feel relieved whatever that result is… at least then I can know what, if anything, I am dealing with, and man up and get on with it.
Thank you all again for your wonderful support - it means the world.
Hope you all have a good weekend, if I don’t talk to you before Monday.
Lots of love,
Rach x x x
Hi ladies…
I’ve been recalled to the breast clinic on the 10th of this month.
I thought I was scared before, but this is something else… I thought that if there was nothing wrong, they would just write to me and tell me if that was the case, so why have they asked me to go back?
I don’t think I can sleep on this for a whole week, without losing the plot totally…
Any advice is so welcome… thank you again for your support.
Love Rach x x
Hi Rach O. I was told that patients HAVE to return for results as theynever send them by post or give results over the telephone. So please try not too worry,I so know howmuch that advice is easier said then done! Can you call tem explain your anxiety and ask if the have any cancellations earlier than the 10th. Big hugs to you xxxxx
Hi Rach 
firstly a massive hug to you wow reading your post took me right back to my begining and I know the waiting is hard and my fingers are crossed for you hoping you get a good result but like you have found this site to be an amazing place for support although unlike you didn’t find it untill just recently when I was coming to the end of my treatment am sending you all the best wishes in the world to you for your results please let us know
angi xxx
I called the consultant earlier, and thank flim I did…
They have been trying to call me but the useless shower of … fill the gap in - at my GP surgery gave them my old number.
I have to go and see a breast surgeon next Monday, not the consultant. They want to do a lumpectomy (for want of a better word). They THINK this is benign. They can’t be sure. So I’m to have surgery, and possible tests on the part of my breast that they didn’t check last time, but that was down to me, not them.
I can’t begin to describe how scared I am.
I just hope they choose to do this either well before Christmas, or after. I can’t face the possibility of having to explain this to my eldest daughter, although I know I will have to. My Dad flies to Australia this weekend to see my brother for Christmas.
My other half is scared too. I’ve never lied to him, and I don’t intend to start now.
I just don’t know what the hell I am going to do for the next week - it’s my youngest’s second birthday this Saturday, so I’ve got her party to organise but apart from that…
Sorry - am waffling now… just don’t know where to put all my thoughts and fears.
Thanks just for being here… you’re all so wonderful.
Love Rach x x x
Rach - at least you have some answers, all i can say is the lumpectomy is doable, you will feel more confident once it is explained and if you want to pm (private message) me for any questions please do, looking back it was pretty easy, and you wont be missing out on christmas or fun times with your children.with a new accessory of a bit of a plaster on your boob!!!
the support on here is amazing, i feel so thankful that i can share whatever i need to
anne xxxxxxxx
Hi ladies…
All I can say is that I feel like I’ve been put through hell, and I still don’t have the answers. I saw the breast surgeon, and to be perfectly honest, he made me feel like a 9 year old instead of a nearly 40 year old. He basically told me to shut up and let him talk, gave my breast the most basic of examinations, and ignored me when I said it was painful, and didn’t even ask about the needle test I was supposed to have on the top of my breast, until I asked him about it. Even then, nothing was done about it. I was basically told that I am bottom of the list for surgery, he couldn’t see what was flagged by the sonographer who did the biopsies, and I was to wait until he could fit me in!
I came out feeling like I shouldn’t have even been there. I totally appreciate that ladies or men who actually have a diagnosis must come first, but he didn’t even ask me if I was alright - it was a case of ‘I know you ladies worry about it, but you are not to worry.’
I’ve been brooding on this since I got home, and I’ve just called the breast consultant who I first saw 2 weeks ago. she was lovely and is going to try and get me a second opinion with another surgeon, who is on leave until Friday.
I’m now in floods of tears, doubting myself and am more scared than ever before… how dare he make me feel this way? I have horrendous anxiety and panic anyway, and each time I have to make myself go through this sort of thing, I am left with feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness and more… I know I am not imagining this. The people who did the mammograms, the scans and the biopsies could see there was something there… and now this man has come in and made me feel like I am imagining it!
Just don’t know where to turn now… I’ve never felt so bl**dy wretched.
Hoping you are all ok, and as always, thanks for your support and friendship - means the world…
Lots of love,
Rach x x x x x
Hi Rach
I do hope you are no longer feeling worthless, 'cos you’re not. How dare this stupid man make you feel this way. He shouldn’t be treating vulnerable women who are already scared out of their wits. I hope the new surgeon you are seeing is kinder and more considerate. I wish I could think of something to say to make you feel better, you do not deserve to be made to feel so wretched. Just to let you know all on these forums will be horrified by your experiences and will send their support, love and lots of virtual[[[hugs]]] to you. xxx
pg