In totally different place than non-cancer friends

I’m in Scarborough which is part of York - so we are at different trusts. It’s crazy that services are so random but geographically so close.
I use Messenger but not FB and have never been logged in but woke up to friend requests and was logged into a home page today ( and able to see videos my friend sent that I can’t normally access ). Don’t know if it’s my mistake or been hacked but managed to delete the account - definitely never going to go on any groups that only run via FB .

Hope you’re doing ok. Xx

1 Like


When i was first diagnosed i tried the BCN secondaries online meetings. I dropped out though as the last session was basically a discussion about the death of 2 long standing group members and the impending death of another. I found it had an adverse emotional impact on me.

I’ve not attended the BCN in person sessions in Leeds or York as I work full time and whilst my company have been very supportive of taking time out for a zoom or teams calls, taking a full day out to attend a face to face session would be pushing my luck.

As i’m single i need to keep working to pay the bills. Apparently I am too physically fit to qualify for any benefits which is fine at the moment.

Is the Leeds support group via LGI or another charity.

Emotionally i find it hard to come to terms with having secondaries when 90% of the time i feel physically and mentally normal. I just have a blip on the monthly hosputal days (I shouldn’t be here…) and in the run up to CT scans and results day.

Hope you are able yo get out and about in Knaresborough I dont know it well, but can say the new sports centre is very nice! I do a yoga class there.

Post diagnosis support seems to be very different snd depends on the Trust or Local charity coverage.


There are some real issues with Facebook, only last night I watched a programme about Facebook accounts being hacked.

Hopefully you have some support where you are and are well enough to go out (weather permitting) to enjoy the bracing fresh air at the beach.

I need to introduce my newly adopted dog to the joys of chasing seagulls on a nice sandy beach!


That secondries group sounds a bit sobering. My youngest daughter had some sort of breakdown last year but resisted the group counselling sessions as she didnt want to add all the other peoples miseries to her own ,she couldn’t see how that would be uplifting. Looking at my latest letter from leeds cancer support they have an email to enquire about beneficial resources.
I havent used the new sports centre though it looks good from the outside. I joined the Puregym to go to fitness classes with my 2 eldest daughters,i wanted to strengthen the arm which suffered with the axillary node clearance, it went quite weak . The classes are pretty full on i reckon at 59 im possibly the oldest there ,thankfully they put the lighting on low during the workouts :joy: I find the wearing of the prosthesis interesting as im contorting into impossible positions.
So sorry to hear that you have secondaries, i can’t imagine where your heads at with it all, its such a roller coaster. I never felt ill during my experience which was what made it all so unreal. All my lovely customers inundated me with cards and flowers and chocolates ( very nice) commiserating and asking how i felt and im there saying i feel absolutely fine no different ,they just keep cutting bits off me but im not ill. Because i didnt feel ill ! Fortunately for me quite a few of my ladies have had breast cancer so i reckon they were my support group full of endless advice and common sense plus lived experience . We have laughed , a lot, which has been best of all .



My local hospital has thos too, but its complementary theraphy like massage, acupuncture, counselling etc but limited number of sessions (6 i think).

There is no BCN secondaries group, although about 6 months ago i received an email to say they had realised there was a gap in care…

Having secondaries is isolating and sadly overlooked.