Is there support for partners?

It’s tough to be a good support, and I’m pleased I’ve found this forum, but it’s tough to know where to get support as it’s quite possible my OH also uses this site. I’m at a loss as to how I can help anymore. It’s a risk posting as if it were found out I think it would cause challenges.

Hi Isololatedindividaul, 

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way, supporting a partner through breast cancer can be difficult. I am sure other Forum users will be along soon to show their support.

You may want to take a look at our supporting someone with breast cancer page for partners. 

In the meantime please do call ourhelpline at 0808 800 6000. They will be able to talk you through some of the questions you may have around supporting your partner and offer a friendly ear. The opening hours are below.

Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm
Late opening Wednesday 9am-7pm,
Saturday, 9am-1pm

Best wishes, 

Lizzy 

Hello Isolatedindividual,

 

I just wanted to let you know about our Someone Like Me service. This service offers you the opportunity to talk confidentially with one of our trained volunteers who have experience of the issues you may be facing, someone who understands and can offer emotional support and practical tips over the phone or email.

 

We have partner volunteers who have supported a loved one through a breast cancer diagnosis, if you would like to speak to one of our volunteers you can call the Someone Like Me team on 0114 263 6490 or email us at someonelikeme@breastcancercare.org.uk.

 

Aletrnatively if you would prefer you can contact one of our volunteers privately directly by email, you can read their online profiles and get in touch here: breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/support-you/someone-talk/someone-me/someone-me-email-support

 

Warm wishes,

 

Collette.  

Hi, 

I’ve just joined the forum and my wife has been using it for some time.

Like you I feel isolated and am very up and down.  We are living with secondaries for last 5 months and while not classed as terminal yet she is on palliative chemo.  We moved 18 months ago away from city life partly for my health, when she was fitter than I was,  and now she is the one with limited health and mobility.

Leaving !kids and grandchildren behind was difficult enough but now it’s harder than ever as we’ve not been able to extend any social life either together or individually beyond our church “family”.

 

Don’t know about you but I feel old friends have almost deserted us/me, maybe they don’t always know what to say or ask. We are on Facebook so that helps with seeing what family and friends are up to, but in some ways it enhances the feeling of isolation seeing everyone else having fun.  While we have a close family who visit they are 200 miles away, phone calls are infrequent but we know they care.

 

It seems to be harder for partners, the emotional and mental ups and downs, so I really empathise with you. We can’t go out together for more than 2’3 hrs as she gets tired easily, even though we now have mobility scooter, and long hours at hospital appointments don’t help! 

We talk and share even about death,  but some nights I can’t sleep with thinking.  It’s not so much worrying about the future but living the present…is that the case with you?  Sometimes it seems as if no one cares.   Life just seems to be on hold even though there is DIY project (creating a hobby room) and gardening to be done. 

 

I haven’t delved into the forum enough to find out about partner support but  hopefully we can share with others. 

 

 

Hi Ringwayman,sorry you haven’t had a response in this section of the forum.You may find more support and advice in the living with secondary breast cancer section of the forum ,partners/friends /family welcome in all sections of the forum for advice and support .Best wishes to you and your wife .Jill.