Its a hard life isn,t it?

Its a hard life isn,t it?

Its a hard life isn,t it? Hi everyone
I dont know about you but i feel so fed up i almost feel like giving up sometimes. I know some of my posts were full of positiveness, but im feel like a old tired car thats got no go anymore. Im fed up of living life around hospitals, smiling on the outside ,crying on the inside. Trying to be strong for my family is so hard. Im fed up of treatments and scans, the waiting the let downs , picking myself up all the time and trying to get on with life . I know you must be thinking that girl needs help she sounds depressed. i suppose i am , i have never been depressed before, but what is it all about why put myself through all this , why! my family thats why i love them so much and yet i feel i could get through this better if i didn,t have to think about them so much. I know there are people worse off ,children are fighting cancer and they dont moan about it like me . I feel so ashamed , but i cant stand the thought of more tests , trying to find a vein and chemo , for how long thats the question , how can i put my family through all this watching me fight and then becoming ill, and then to die at the end of it . Im sorry i just feel so down today , perhaps its because we just buried my sister in law yesterday and she kept saying im going nowhere , she was so positive till the end .Im sorry if i have upset anyone . Take care love to all carolm x

Oh Carol, I do sympathise with you. To have to bury your sister in law in such tragic circumstances when you’re suffering yourself is awful. No wonder you’re depressed.

I don’t have secondaries, or at least I don’t think so but who really knows, but I too get days when I despair and everything looks black. Since being diagnosed with bc I very rarely plan for the future as I am frightened to do so. Yet, like you, I try to put on a brave face to my family and the world. As you say, life would be easier in some ways without a family as then we wouldn’t have to keep trying to be cheerful all the time for their sake. On the other hand, we’d really miss them if we didn’t have them. Sometimes it’s just the thought of my family that keeps me going.

Have you asked your doctor for anti-depressants, Carol? I take them and although they don’t get rid of the bad days they do help. You need something now with the loss of your sister in law praying on your mind.

Don’t give up, Carol, please. There is plenty of hope out there. None of us know just who is going to die and who is going to make it in this disease, not even the doctors. I wish I could give you a big hug. Your post bought tears to my eyes. Never, ever feel ashamed of feeling as you do. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. I do hope that you’re feeling a little better soon. I’m thinking of you.

All my love

Dear Carol I am sorry to read that you are having such a difficult time at the moment. You are very welcome to contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000 for further support and a ‘listening ear’ if you feel this would help, our helpliners can also talk to you about other ways in which we may be able to support you. You can also find information about our many other support services via the ‘Support for you’ tab on the homepage, the helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

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Sorry you are feeling so rotten Carol. We’ve all felt like that at times. It is hard work and the relentless round of appointments is so draining.

You have a lot on at the moment so try not to be too hard on yourself. If we were all chirpy chirpy cheep cheep all the time that would be more worrying. I find having some me time usually helps, just a quiet day at home to gather my thoughts followed by a nice bath helps.

Try to not to worry you are suffering from depression, as I’ve said we all have these spells but if you feel it not lifting please ask your GP for help they can help in so many ways.

Love Twinkle xoxo

Thank you susieq1 and Twinkle Thank you for your posts , you sound like lovely ladies it always happens to the nicest of people ,tomorrow is another day, i hope its better than today. Take care love to you all xcarolm