JaneRA's last message

Public Archive
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Jane’s partner has asked me to post this message from Jane. Her funeral is on Monday 14th December in Winchester. If any of you would like to attend her funeral or pay your respects in some other way, please PM me and I will put you in touch with Jane’s partner. She has asked me to pass on her gratitude to you all for the love and support you gave Jane.

Here is Jane’s message:

As many of you know I never found anything positive or uplifting about having breast cancer…nevertheless getting breast cancer in the age of the internet has meant a support and information network which was unknown 15 years back. Thank you to everyone who has helped me on these forums since I first logged on in February 2004. Thank you for your support and information, your kindness and laughter. Thank you for great discussions and debates…

My death is but one of the 12,000 deaths from breast cancer this year. More than 45,000 women will face diagnosis in this time. My death is unremarkable. I am 60, not a bad age, even in the west, but still a premature death. Premature too are the numerous deaths from breast cancer of young women with young children. They are there, unnamed in the statistics.

I’d like to think that among those of you reading of my death today are some young women… newly diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, the relatively unusual type I had. Today you are very frightened, crying and confused. But I want to imagine that you are going to be all right and that after your treatment is over you will decide to get involved in cancer campaigning…but not for you are the appearances in Fashion shows, not for you fundraising at pink pampering parties, not for you airbrushing the reality of this disease into some designer must have condition. You will decide on a harder more radical route…and a movement will begin to challenge governments, and research scientists, the medics and the charities. You won’t be smiling sweetly about good 5 years survival statistics…you’ll be saying that 12000 deaths a year is not good enough, that effective prevention and treatment, let alone a cure, is barely off the starting block, that this is awful and it has to change. There was the whisper of such a movement recently…I hope the movement promised comes to fruition with determined committed campaigners.

Winding forward to say 2050 and I hear you talking to your grandchildren about the old days when breast cancer still killed, and generations of women died years too soon. For now in 2050 few people get breast cancer and no one dies of it any more.

This is my hope, my hope for all your futures. Please smile and raise a glass for me in that hope. But avoid soppiness, or any references to bravery and fighting…there were none. Like the thousands before and after me, I simply did the best I could to live as well and as long as I could. We are ordinary women dealt a bad hand by breast cancer.

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Thank you Daphne and especially Jane’s partner…my deepest condolences. I have been waiting for this message, I knew nothing of it’s content but Jane had told me she had prepared such a message.
Jane I miss you already.
x

3

I will raise a glass to you Jane.

Rest in Peace.

My condolences to Jane’s partner.

Love Debsxxx

4

What a thoughtful and inspiring post…just what we have all come to expect from Jane.
I will also raise a glass to you.
R.I.P

5

My glass has been raised and I live in hope, although I find it difficult to smile at times!

Thank you Jane - your words will stay with me always.

Deepest sympathies to Janes partner and family x

6

Jane was so right 12000 premature deaths is just far too many.
I will raise a glass to Jane and all the other lovely cyber friends I have lost this year. Too many too young
Best wishes to Jane’s loved ones at this sad time
cheers
caroline

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Here’s to you, Jane!

A wonderful, thought provoking message. What a legacy Jane has left us all x

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We could always trust Jane to tell it as it is and this final message is no exception.

Thank you Jane for your honesty always.

Here’s to you. R.I.P.

Andie

9

Wise words from an inspirational woman, thankyou Jane.

My glass will be raised with a smile and my thoughts will be with Jane’s partner.

Judith
x

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Thank you Daphne.

My Condolences to Jaynes Partner and family.
I watched with eagerness the way Jayne dealt with and looked into Triple Neg BC. Jayne also liked a good discussion and debate and again I used to read her words with eagerness.
So So sad on this day.
I shall raise my glass to you with a smile Jayne and wish you well wherever you are.
God Bless
xxx
Tracey

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Thank you for the message Jane
I will raise my glass and salute you - you are missed here by so many women…Jayne x

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A very wise,eloquent and thoughtful last message. Thanks to her partner for posting it and my thoughts are with Jane’s partner,family and friends at this time.

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So very Jane. Thinking and campaigning to the last and, as always, telling it like it is. I will miss your intelligence and clear-sightedness very much.

No soppiness, Jane, just affection, gratitude and respect, and my deepest sympathy to your partner.

Kathy

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That message is so Jane.
A wonderful message to young women many of whom will get through this desease as Jane says and will be able to talk to their Grandchildren about it. Far too many women still die from this disease whether its 34 as my daughter was or whether its someone in their 60s, which is still far too young, but I am sure that will change in the future. Hopefully not too far into the future.
I will raise a glass to Jane on Monday 14th Dec. She will never be forgotten by the people on this site.
Wherever you are Jane I hope you are giving them some stick!
Sue

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A very thought-provoking (as always) final post from Jane - let’s hope that she is right and that one day breast cancer will no longer be a potentially killer disease.

My thoughts are with Jane’s partner, family and friends and I will raise a glass to her this evening.

Lesley x

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Heres to you Jane. I salute you.
Josie.

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I’d like to thank Jane’s partner for forwarding this message to us. What a powerful message this is. Reading it took the wind out of my sails … and so it should! Wow! Jane! What push forward is this? This is about the future … this is about challenging the number of deaths … this is about campaigning, radicalism and saying we’re not fluffy, tickled pink women but instead are determined to eradicate this disease.

My cancer was not triple negative and I’m not one of the younger members of this forum. However, I have become aware through reading this site of the number of young women joining. I’m also very aware that within all types of breast cancer death occurs. However, for those diagnosed triple negative, there needs to be more research and outcomes.

We all have a duty to stamp on this diabolical disease. We all have a duty to challenge those media images that suggest everything is okay. Even one death, is a death too many! Every image that promotes something positive about the hideous surgery we have to go through to survive, is an image too many. Unless we promote the realism, we will never be taken seriously.

Jane, I hold up my glass to you. Rare it is for anyone to provide us with such a provocative, thoughtful post after their death. I’m full of admiration!

And to Jane’s partner … my deepest sympathies. Monday will be tough for you as will the many weeks that follow. How remarkable it is though that Jane has left such a legacy. Let’s hope we don’t waste it. I’m involved with Breakthrough and will most definitely up the ante!

Best wishes to Jane … sorely missed already, and to her partner!

Gill xx

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That was quite simply moving and brilliant, a fitting tribute to Jane.
It brought a tear to my eye reading it. I will miss her postings.

Linda

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I will raise a glass to you Jane. Your wise words will be missed on this forum.

April x

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Wise words to the end - RIP