Just been diagnosed with depression

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Hi all

Just needing to off load a bit as had one hell of a bad day. I haven’t stopped crying and can hardly keep my eyes open they are so sore, but can’t unwind or sleep either.

I am a teacher, and over the last few months I have noticed my work load increasing so much, that I have to stay late at work in order to get the work done. I have recently seperated from my husband and also moved house.

Last night (6.30pm)I was leaving work and loading up my car when I fell. I got such a shock, and then realise my foot had gone down a drain. I reported it this am as is school policy, and was greeted with ‘You shouldn’t be on the premises at thet time anyway’)!

No sympathy about my swollen hand, grazed knees, shin and sore back. I got very emotional and began to cry. Returned to my room and continued to cry. The person came and apologiged, I still cried. I had lost complete control.

School sugested I get myself checked out at the cottage hospital. Physically I was fine, but the crying started again. The nurse referred me to my GP, I didn’t return to school until later, when I had a meeting with the head. That went ok, he was sympathetic, and offered ideas and stratagies to help me in the future.

I then went to the GP, who gave me an assessment, and announced that I am severly depressed. I have to say that although I went in there wondering what was the point, he made me see that I had many many symptoms of depression, and had had them probably since BC in oct 2006.

So here I am again needing help and support from you lovely people. I am signed off work for 2 weeks that will be 4 weeks with the xmas holidays, and have been told not to do any school work at home in that time. Now my head is buzzing. I have been diagnosed an anti depressant to be taken at bedtime as it is also a seditive, this is because I have not has a full nights sleep for years and am totally exhausted.

Don’t know what I am expecting from here, just needed to tell someone who would understand the BC connection. Thanks for listening.

Irene

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Irene,just want to send a hug and let you know that you are not alone with depression.You have been through a hell of a lot , not just BC.I started antidepressants in June and they made such a difference.I hope you have the same.
Relax,chill out and let the drugs help you.Is there a way of getting counselling which can help aong with the ADs,maybe through your GP,work or BCN?
Big hugs((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))
Love Dot
xxx

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hi Irene, sorry to hear that you are having to deal with depression too, although i do think that the person you reported the fall to was a tad insensitive. It sounds like you have had 1 stress after another, you must feel worn out. I hope a little time off work and time to regroup helps you.
take care
anna

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Hello Irene, I’m so sorry you are going through this and I hope you soon begin to feel better.
I do understand some of the stuff you are going thro’ I had bc originally in 1997 aged 38 and struggled for a long time with low mood and tiredness, but in 2003 when my dad was ill and clearly not going to survive long, I tipped over into a depressive illness. I was prescribed anti depressants (seroxat) and have taken them since.
I was diagnosed in june of this year with a recurrence, and for the past few weeks have been able to feel myself tipping again.
Its crap isn’t it? I’m not surprised your head is buzzing. I have spent weeks turning over the decision I’ve made to try for early retirement (I’m 51) and I know my colleagues and manager can’t wait for me to get back. Feel guilty but know its the right decision because despite everyone’s best intentions, the stress will all pile straight on again, and I know that there’s no way I can cope. If I tell them now they’ll want to put those feelings down to chemo, but I know how I was struggling before I went sick in June.
Anyway, I wanted to post about you, not me!
It sounds as though you have hit a brick wall right now and the rest will do you good, but the other side of it is that you have to be very kind to yourself, I mean really nurture yourself. Do you have good support mechanisms from friends/family?
Please let me know how you get on, I’ll be thinking of you
monica xxx

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Hi to everyone on this thread.
Hello Irene, I am sorry that you have had so much to deal with recently, one thing after another, after another. No wonder you feel like you do. I think having a break from work is the best decision you could make. You sound stressed out and no wonder. I see so many of my friends in teaching and nursing who are being over-stressed at work. It is become more and more common in the workplace. I think you need to be kind to yourself and take a step back from work for a while and I would not even begin to think about “when” you will be returning. Listen to your GP and take as long as you need. Not only have you work related stress but your house move and separation from your husband has all added to your depression. I do not suffer from depression myself but close family memebers have and I am well aware how much depression and stress can affect your whole life. Just now you need some TLC and we are here to support you through this. Please keep in touch through this thread and let us know how you are. Much love from Val X

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Hello Irene

I am sorry to read about your depression - I have had depression in the past and it is the most horrible feeling and unless you have had it, you can never know what its like. My personal view of depression is that it is nature’s way of making us stop doing whatever it is that is making us ill. Just like if you break your leg, it would hurt far too much to walk on it until it heals, the same goes for the mind. Time and medication do wonders for the healing, and just like you wouldn’t start walking on a broken leg until it had healed properly, you treat yourself kindly and take it very gently and it will pass.

Good luck

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Hi Irene,

I too suffered depression many years ago and found the drugs worked really well.

They take a while and you think they aren’t working but one day you will forget to take them and then you will know you are getting better!

Best wishes, Grace

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Hi Irene,

I too used to teach and know how it all builds up especially at this time of year, Christmas, assessments, the list goes on.
Apart from that you have been through so much. I am surprised that you have coped so long.Separation,death of your sister, moving house and breast cancer. They all must figure fairly high on the top ten stress list!!

I had to give up teaching due to memory problems following treatment and the stress. After breast cancer I just could not seem to cope with the presuure anymore.

I started on anti depressants and also had therapy. It is not a quick fix but does enable you to cope. Things do look brighter after a while.

I worry that the short time you are signed off will be enough for you.
You need to get settled and sorted, pamper yourself with time, long baths and lots of short walks, good food and sleep.

Best of wishes Irene. Hope to see you on a liverpool meet soon.
If you want to pm me that is fine. Julie xxx

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Thankyou all for your lovely supportive replies. I have always considered myself a very strong person, and have had to be the organiser and stable rock as my OH was so bad at all that.

Now I realise I have reached saturation point. I really liked Cathy’s analogy, it makes so much sence. And Juliet, yes it would be good to meet up with you in Liverpool.

Thanks again.

Irene

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Hi Irene, I hope your break from work restores you to your former self. But it will take time and does not happen overnight. Please be kind to yourself and take time to recharge your batteries and remember the tablets take quite a few weeks to start working.
My husband and daughter have both suffered from depression/anxiety and I have lived with this for years so really know what it is like in a big way. My OH has been great while I have been unwell and we both retired early on health grounds ten years ago ( I am only 59 now). It made a huge difference to both of us as we both had jobs and were on shifts and often he would be heading out to nightshift when I came back from my shift at 9pm. It wasn’t easy.
Although I now have secondaries my life has totally changed and I enjoy life much more without all the stress we were dealing with at the time. The year I got diagnosed with secondaries in my bones my husband had the year from Hell. He lost his Mum very suddenly in January, his Dad in May when we were in Italy and had to drive home with the kids, his Aunt died in the August and inbetween I had been undergoing numerous tests and I was eventually was diagnosed with bone mets. So you see we have had our share of stress over the years. Life is so much better now in lots of ways. I wish you well Irene and I hope the time off work helps you. Love Val

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I am enjoying (if that is the correct word) my time off work. It allowed me time to spend a whole day marking work!!! Mad I know but now that is done I feel more relaxed. Maybe I should have just asked for a day off timetable to catch up instead of prompting a crisis. I’m glad it did though as I am sure this would have happened sooner or later.

I may have a bit of paranoia, but am thinking people wont understand how I feel, and not wanting to be see around our small town for this reason so been a bit cooked up which I know isn’t good for me. Sleeping slightly better though hot flushes still break through the sedative I take at night.

Hope you are all feeling ‘balanced’ just now.

Irene

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Dear Irene,
I was a teacher for 18 years, but have come off the profession because of my dx of cancer. Teaching is highly stressful and it’s only stepping out of it that I became away the continual and relentless pressure we are under as teachers.
Give yourself a well deserved break
Best wishes
Leadie

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Hi Irene,
Please don’t feel you need to stay cooped up in your home. You will help yourself more, if you get out and about and enjoy yourself. “People” are not entitled to an explanation. If you think they won’t understand - don’t tell them. If they ask (which they shouldn’t) say something bland and change the subject.

If you have some really good friends, I prescribe a fun evening out - with lots of good food and laughter.

You have been through a lot lately. Too much. Be kind to yourself, maybe give yourself a treat. If you can relax and enjoy - you will find yourself feeling better.