Just diagnosed - feeling scared.


Just wanted to introduce myself.

I was told on Wednesday that I have secondaries to my liver and probably also my bone and lungs. There is some concern about my brain, although the CT scan was inconclusive. My consultant said I have weeks without treatment, months with it. I have a two year-old daughter and I can’t bear the thought of leaving her.

I guess I just need to talk to others in the same position.

Lola x

Hi Lola

I am sorry to hear of your recent secondary diagnosis. I am sure you will continue to receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users, in addition, you are welcome to contact our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 where you are able to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm

Kind regards

Breast Cancer Care

Hi Lola,

I am so sorry that you have been given this news, I haven’t secondaries so I am perhaps not best placed to comment. I have read secondaries threads and am often surprised how many ladies have surpassed their expectations. I hope they will add their thoughts.

Having a young child I am sure impacts even harder on diagnosis. I can remember saying when I was diagnosed that ‘at least I do not have young children’. I have older children but still can not imagine how you feel right now.

I expect you feel in a bubble at the moment, I hope that if you have treatment it all starts as soon as you wish.

Hugs to you and your family.


Hey Lola,
I too have been recently diagnosed with secondaries and it is a real shock isn’t it? I just look at my kids and cry! BUT and this is important, our fate is uncertain and that certainty can work with us as well as against us… Sure prepare all you have to do, but there are people in the same postion as you who have continued on well past any expectations…

Huge hugs,


Hi Lola & Minerva,
Sorry you had to join this part of the board but welcome. I was only diagnosed with liver mets back in July but there are other ladies on here who are living with mets for very much longer. I was very poorly when I was diagnosed but since have been treated with chemo and am back at work running my own business. I don’t have children but am very close to my neices & nephews who lost their dad 7 years ago.
Take care,

Dear Lola,

I am so sorry you have to join us here but would like to welcome you to the board. There is a wealth of knowledge and support to be found here.

I was diagnosed with liver mets in July 05 when my children were 4 & 5. My prognosis was not good (still isn’t) but I am still here and going strong. There are plenty of treatments out there and once you have a plan of action established you can begin to feel more in control of your life again. A secondary diagnosis does take time to sink in but I have to say I have had many, many good times in the past two years and I wish you all the best in the days ahead.

There is always someone here who will have help and support for you.


Hi Lola

Just want to add my support to you as well. I was diagnosed 3 years ago with liver and spine mets and was told last year that I had 3 months to live. They said they would try chemo but didn’t think it would work given the state of my liver and here I am - a year on and still going strong (and still on chemo!).

It is so different from having a primary diagnosis and the shock is unbelievable. It took me ages to get my head straight again so have every sympathy with you.

Like you, I want to see my son grow up and be aware of what happens to him.


Hi Lola - you have come to the right place for support and advice. I am new to secondaries as well and am just coming to terms with the uncertainty of it all. Jenny is quite right, no-one knows what the future holds for any of us. I have good days and bad days, but above all, I am just getting back to having normal days - I recently went back to work, which has been a real tonic.

I also have young children and know the awful feeling and fear of leaving them. I am at present doing what I call the Admin (will etc), but once the Admin is done, I hope to be able to put it all to the back of my mind and plod on to the best of my ability.

I am sure it is on your mind 24/7 now - it is understandable.

What treatment are you going to be put on. I am on Tamoxifen having just completed 6xFEC chemo.

Hopefully, your treatment will have already started - this awful disease can be kept at bay and you must bear that in mind.

Love and hugs

I have posted this on behalf of Terry
Kind Regards

My wife was told in May 2006 that she would not be here by last Christmas, well she is still here and fighting hard. The treatments now can work really well as we are finding out.

regards to all

Hi Lola, I’m so sorry.
This forum is such a supportive place. Like some others on this thread I’ve been living with stage 4 for a while, since 2003. It’s such a huge shock at first. There’s always someone here.

Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement. It helps enormously.

Heatherlou - they have me on hormone treatment initially (zoladex, celebrex and ethemestane) but the plan is to do chemo too. I have paralysis of the right side of my face and am waiting for the results of my bone scan to see if it is a bone met that is causing it. If so my oncologist wants to do radiotherapy on that area so I can’t start chemo until that is done. I see him again tomorrow.

For the past week I feel I have been waiting to die but I can see now that there may be hope and I am ready to fight.


Lola x

Dear Lola,

in the 6 months since I’ve been diagnosed, this site has been my cornerstone. Please be kind to yourself and accept all the support you’re offered from friends and family. You will find some kind of normality again-I’m back at work, and currently stable on herceptin and tamoxifen.


Dear Lola

Just wanted to add my support as well. I was diagnosed back in June this year with a liver secondary and certainly those first few weeks were awful. But as India says, you do find your way back to some kind of normality again and also many many days when you are genuinely happy and enjoying life. This forum has been an invaluable source of support and information - there are many people who have such a wealth of knowledge and can empathise.

So lots of treats and lots of hugs is what I’d prescribe at the moment for you!!

Love Kay

Dear Lola,
Have just picked this thread up and wanted to add to it.
Like you I have little ones, three of the bu**ers!!!
It is all a huge shock and there are so manythings that go through your mind but it does get easier with time.
I like to talk to others in the same situation to find out what treatment they are having as there always seems to be something and that gives me hope for another couple of years and then then another etc.
This site inspires me daily as the strength of the words written by others keeps me strong.
I learn’t to ride a motor bike when I was first diagnosed!!!
A real challenge but it did the power of good!
On my number plate I have a little logo…

“You cant keep a good woman down”

Be good, stay strong,

Hello Lola
Just wanted to say how sorry I am to see that you’ve got secondaries. Since I first found this board I’ve been reading your posts and have always found them really helpful and well informed. I haven’t got secondaries but I do read the posts and am always surprised and encouraged by how very well the ladies seem to do. As others have said, there are loads of things they can try these days.

Thinking of you. Take care and keep posting.
Anthi x x

Lolag, like Anthi I read your posts when I first found this site and found them helpful. We could all find ourselves in your shoes and I can’t think of anything to say except I am thinking of you. Lots of love and thoughts Eileen

Hi Lola

Just read this thread, as been hospitalised for a week after my last chemo, but am OK, was just immune system went missing!!!

I was dx with bc on July 16 and then told 10 days later on 26 July had liver mets. I have two children, youngest was 1 on Tuesday (which I missed as in hospital) and my daughter is 4 in 2 weeks time. It is hard, and the uncertainty of our future is so hard to contemplate, the thought of not being here to see my children grow up crucifies me. But they give me such strength to fight this as hard as I can, and take any treatment/operation etc that I can. I have had 3 x FEC and 2 x Taxotere so far with my last taxotere (hopefully) next Wednesday. I flew through FEC with no problems whatsoever but taxotere hit me quite bad with tiredness and aches etc. But it is doable and you will get through it.

And whatever you are feeling we are all here supporting each other and helping each other as best we can. I have found my invisible friends to be a lifeline, as they understand all my fears and you can rant and rave as much as you like and we will listen.

I did find that once my treatment started I could deal with it all better, as I knew then that something was being done.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are. I might not be on line too much this weekend, as gotta take things easy and rest to make sure I don’t end up back at A&E.

Lots of Love

Hi Lola

I was told 3 weeks ago that the cancer had spread to my lungs and liver. I already had bone spread for over a year. It came completely out of the blue as i was feeling well and had a CT scan for something that turned out to be unrelated. Like you I was absolutely devastated but have really found this site beneficial escpecially after realising that there are so may women living for years with secondary spread. I started by treatment on tuesday and my oncologist has been really positive. I have never been given a time or ever asked as i strongly believe that the mind is a very powerful thing so try and not to focus on the length of time they have said… I to have felt better once an action plan has been decided on and the treatment has started.

take care and keep in touch.

Maddison xx